My Real Life

April 17, 2012

Truthful Tuesday: Quirks

Filed under: Truthful Tuesday — Amy @ 6:00 am
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Today’s question comes from Heather.

Heather writes:

Do you have any really “bizarre” quirks? Like, I rarely if ever buy the same toothpaste two times in a row. I just can’t. I get bored with toothpaste flavor and style and truly, I can’t buy the same one twice. It’s so odd I almost can’t admit it but I just did.

Once again, I turned to Real Man, who, apparently, doesn’t know that the correct answer to, “Honey, do I have any really bizarre quirks?” is “What???  Are you crazy?  You are the perfect woman!  The perfect human!  Quirks?  Ha!  You laugh in the face of quirks!”

Instead, he began to rattle off a list.

1.  When I eat Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Eggs, Trees, Hearts, and whatever other shape they come in, I eat all the chocolate off, until I am left with a weird, misshapen lump of peanut butter.

Then, I put it on my tongue and smush it up against the roof of my mouth.

Then, I try to swallow it and my voice gets all icky and chokey.

And I love it.

Not eating my Reese’s like a normal person.

Quirk.

2.  We try to watch tv in the living room, as we have a beautiful tv in there.

However, some nights, I can tell I’m going to fall asleep, and I hate falling asleep on the couch and having to move, so we go upstairs and watch in bed.

As we’re watching, I think I’m awake.

I’m positive I’m awake.

I hear Real Man say, “Amy, are you awake?”

I say, “Yes.”

He says, “I don’t think so.”

And, at this point, I realize my eyes are closed and I open them and find Real Man’s hand in front of my face, where it has been, apparently, for five minutes.

Not being able to admit when I’m asleep.

Quirk.

3.  The moment I wake up in the morning, Real Man can tell if I’ve had asthma in the night, whether or not he woke up when I used my inhaler.

How?

Because, when I have asthma, even when I’m sleeping, I scratch the lower right side of my cheek.

And I scratch it until it bleeds.

I don’t even know I’m doing it, but I do.

Every time.

Scratching the heck outta my face when I can’t breathe.

Quirk.

4.  When I eat M&M’s, I eat them by color.

Now, I don’t make charts and graphs, like Monkey in the Middle:

But, I do like my M&M’s eaten in an orderly fashion.

Neat M&M eating.

Quirk.

5.  I turn everything into a song.

Everything.

But, Real Man recognizes that he does it, too.

Sometimes we make up the melody, but sometimes we use other songs.

For example, as I am typing this, Tiny is sleeping, but everyone else is up, and we are hanging in the living room.

Monkey in the Middle and I are playing Words With Friends against each other, and he is beating the pants off of me (and no, I do NOT let him win) because he’s got good strategy and he is leaving me nowhere to go.

So, I made one good move and he says, “Mom…you’re killing me!”

And, Real Man and I immediately started singing about me killing him to the tune of “Killing Me Softly.”

It probably went on for ten minutes.

And, after the first three minutes, we started singing in weird voices, and the kids just began to shake their heads.

Putting everything to song and then using a weird voice to sing it.

Quirk.

April 16, 2012

Frozen – Part 2

Filed under: Uncategorized,Writing — Amy @ 6:00 am
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You can read Frozen – Part 1 here.

She walked to the bedroom and opened her dresser.  She pulled out a clean, white pair of underwear and tried to put them on, while standing on one leg.  She found that her balance was not quite returned, and so she sat on the edge of her bed as she dressed.

As she reached back to fasten her bra, she felt an ache in her shoulder.  Makes sense, she thought.

She put on a pair of sweatpants, a too-large Harvard sweatshirt she had pilfered from a college fling, and a thick pair of wool socks. She went back to the bathroom, hung her towel, and looked at herself in the mirror again.

She turned her face to the left and to the right.  She put her hands on her cheeks.  The same.  She couldn’t take her eyes off of her reflection, unsure of how she could look exactly the same as she did this morning when she was so fundamentally changed.

She stared at herself until her stomach growled, shaking her from her reverie.  She turned off the lights and walked the kitchen.  She went to the stove and turned on the tea kettle, opened her tea cannister and selected a decaf tea bag, and set it in her favorite mug.  She then went to the breadbox and selected a bagel, and pulled out a kitchen knife.  She turned it over in her hand, looking at the dull blade and muttered, “This just won’t do.”

She went back to the pantry and moved aside the cereal boxes.  On the very back of the shelf, she found a dishtowel.  She pulled it out and walked over to the table.  She placed it, gently, on the table, and sat down.  Slowly, carefully, she began to open up the towel.  Inside, lay a bread knife.  The sharp, serrated edge glinted in the low light.  She picked it up, turned it from side to side.  She ran her finger along the blade, then, unconsciously, put her fingers to her neck.

She stood, walked to the counter, bread knife and towel in hand.  She placed the towel on the counter and picked up the bagel.  Cautiously, she put blade to bread and began to saw back and forth.  When the bagel was in two, she wiped the blade with the towel, turned to the knife block and slid it into it’s home.

Still fits.

Once she put the two halves of the bagel in the toaster, she sat on the floor, drew her knees to her chest, wrapped her arms around her legs and began to rock.

To rock and to finally allow herself to remember.

April 15, 2012

A Little Something For Everyone

Filed under: Posts with Video — Amy @ 6:00 am
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I’m in love with this story.

I think we all need to be a little like every person in it.

As willing to work and create and imagine as Caine.

As willing to indulge in the creativity of his child as Caine’s Dad.

As willing to believe in, encourage, and publicize the efforts of a kid he doesn’t even know.

It’s 10 minutes long, but please watch.

It’s pretty awesome.

April 14, 2012

FunPlex

Filed under: Adventuring — Amy @ 6:00 am
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A few weeks ago, Baby Monkey went to a birthday party at the FunPlex.

He loved it.

He came home and told his siblings about it, and suddenly, they, too, needed to go to the FunPlex.

I’ll be honest…I thought it was pretty cool.  Kinda like a small, indoor amusement park/boardwalk all-in-one.

So, I put it in the back of my mind.

We had our week off for Spring Break, and we packed a lot in.

We also had the Monday after Easter off, and I was wavering between taking a day off and just chilling or doing one more fun thing with the monkeys.

I went for fun.

So, I told the Monkeys we were going to run some errands and then do something super fun, but if there was any complaining on the errands, no super fun.

They were angels on the errands, and I kept dropping little clues, in our conversation, about where we were going.

Monkey Girl began a notes sheet, on her iTouch, with the clues to try and figure out the mystery.

It was pretty darn cute.

Once the errands were done, I headed down and pulled into the Funplex parking lot to the cheers and thanks from the monkeys.

If you ever want to go, be the first ones there and you miss the crowd and it’s a much more fun experience.

We had a great, great time.

Bumper cars were the favorite activity, but they tried everything multiple times, thanks to the wristbands that got them on all the rides.

Monkey in the Middle LOVES racing games.

Back to the bumper cars.

The funniest part was that, after we had been there for about an hour, I got a text from my friend, Jean, with whom we had been to the Crayola Factory on Friday.

The text read “r u at funplex??????”

I wasn’t sure why she was asking, because I knew I hadn’t mentioned to her that I was thinking of going, so I just texted back “Yep.  Kids r in heaven.”

And in the door walked Jean, her two kids, her two nephews and her niece.

She had been planning to take her nephews, as a gift, for a few months, but never mentioned it to me, either.  When they pulled in the parking lot, she recognized our truck and said to her kids, “Guess who is here?”

It was fun to see them, the kids were thrilled, and I got to hang out with my friend for another day.

And when all was said and done, I had three very happy children.

And one very happy, but exhausted baby.

This picture was taken 5 minutes after we got in the car.

Just in case you didn’t get the full effect of the exhaustion:

April 13, 2012

Five Question Friday

Filed under: Five Question Friday — Amy @ 6:00 am
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1. Who mows your grass?
Real Man mows our lawn.
In fact, we have a new lawnmower on the way, as ours broke soon after moving into this house, last summer.
So, he’ll be in lawnmower heaven.
2. Do you have a picture wall or picture gallery in your house?
No.
I don’t like poking holes in the walls.
I have a bunch of pictures from the old house that I still haven’t hung, yet, because I can’t bear to poke holes in the walls.
I’ll even hang pictures in weird places that don’t make sense with our furniture and decorating, just so I don’t have to poke holes in the walls.
So, no.
3. What book has influenced your thinking the most? Or, what blog?
I read a lot.
However, I don’t think that what I read influences my thinking.
I don’t believe in one book, one person, one source as being “the truth” and so I look to multiple sources.
4. Do you have allergies? If so, how do you handle it this time of year?
I do have allergies and I don’t handle them well.
But, I’m guessing that’s not what you were asking.
I take Benadryl, Sudafed, Claritin, Allegra.
I use Visine and a NetiPot.
I got allergy shots from the time I was 5 until I was about 35.
Then, I just kept forgetting to go (I chalk that up to the three kids I had then…I lost a few more brain cells with each one).
So, now, I suffer.
5. What’s your go to meal to cook in an hurry?
Homemade pizza.
Brown up some ground beef, toss it on a shell with some sauce and cheese, pop it in the oven for 20 minutes and we’re all set.

April 12, 2012

Power of Music

Filed under: Posts with Video — Amy @ 6:00 am
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My Grandpa suffered from Alzheimer’s disease.

It was hard to watch.

Harder for my father, to whom my Grandpa said, “My wife and I weren’t able to have kids.”

It’s a terrible, terrible disease.

So, you can imagine that my interest was sparked when I found this video on Reddit, last week.

It brought me to tears.

I’ve always known about the power of music, but to see it put to use in this way…

Magical.

The video is about 6 minutes long.  It is well worth it.

April 11, 2012

Wordless Wednesday

Filed under: Uncategorized,Wordless Wednesday — Amy @ 6:00 am
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No babies were actually given any candy in the taking of these photos.  They were, however, allowed to pose next to their older siblings baskets, which were far more interesting than the baby basket that only contained a Touch and Feel Farm Animals Book.

April 10, 2012

Truthful Tuesday: Hot Buttons

Filed under: Truthful Tuesday — Amy @ 6:00 am
Tags: , ,

Today’s question comes from Heather.

Heather writes: Do you have a “hot button issue” that you just physically can’t ignore if it’s pushed on FB or in person?

To answer this question, I asked Real Man, because who would know about what makes me hopping mad better than my husband?

And, of course, he immediately began to rattle off a list:

Anyone who is trying to legislate what other people do with their lives or their bodies, namely people trying to make gay marriage illegal and outlaw abortion, and people who don’t know the facts about something and go spouting off about it.

I understand that there are choices that people may not make for themselves, but I do not believe that gives them the right to say that someone else can’t or shouldn’t do it.  It feels like the Stone Age with regards to many things when I hear people say that there is only one way that things can be done.

As for the other, it drives me batty when people say things or post things on Facebook without having all the facts.  I love a rich, full political debate and discussion, but only, only when both sides know what they are talking about and have the facts to back themselves up.  Don’t like Obama?  Okay…I’m fine with that.  But, don’t post a status about how he’s taken away basic human rights or saying he’s raised the debt higher than any other American president, cuz it just ain’t so.  Not a fan of public education?  I’m sorry to hear it, but don’t start quoting test scores when you have no idea what those test scores really show.  And, you should know that it goes both ways.  I wasn’t a fan of George Bush, but I didn’t tolerate misinformation about him, either.

And while it’s not a political issue or one that is even really talked about on Facebook or anything, people hurting children is a stop on a dime, no debate, no discussion, fry their asses kind of topic for me.

You hurt a child, I don’t care the excuse, the story, the reason, there is no rationalization that is acceptable to me, and I want the harshest, harshest punishment for you.

And that’s the truth.

April 9, 2012

Frozen – Part 1

Filed under: Writing — Amy @ 6:00 am
Tags: ,

So, I’m taking the leap today, and starting my 1st Monday Mini-Novella series.  This particular story is one that’s been rolling around in my head since October.  I hope you enjoy it.

Frozen – Part 1

She closed the door behind her and methodically locked each of the five locks that spanned its length, her fingers shaking almost uncontrollably.

She eased her feet out of her shoes and moved them to the mat, watching the snow turn to liquid and begin to form small pools on the fibers, squinting to see if the water was pure, or if there were any traces of blood to be seen.

Have to come back to that later, she thought to herself. 

She unwound the scarf from her neck, and took a deep breath at the cool air that assaulted her skin, which had been kept warm beneath it’s wool.  Her fingers fumbled with the buttons on her coat, still nearly frozen from the blizzard outside.  As she hung up her coat, she caught sight of a tiny smudge of red on the sleeve.  She pulled it back from the coat rack and walked, her feet softly padding on the carpet, to the kitchen.  She opened the french doors to reveal the washer and dryer, opened the lid and dropped in the coat.  She then undressed herself, dropping all of her clothes into the machine.  She poured in the soap, turned the dials, closed the lid and stood, naked, with her hands resting on the machine, head hanging low and choked back a sob.

Her body convulsed in a massive shiver and when it had passed through every limb, she lifted her head and walked, in a daze, to the bathroom.  She turned the hot water handle as far as it would go and stepped in.  For a minute or two, she stood, letting the water scald her skin, watching it turn pink, knowing this wasn’t the way to warm up skin that was nearly frozen.  Knowing that she should gradually warm the skin so as not to do any permanent damage.  Yet, knowing that it would take water much, much hotter than this to begin to thaw what was frozen inside, far below her, now red, skin.

Finally, she added some cold to the formula and as the temperature abated, she reached for the soap and began to lather her body.  Her arms, her legs, her chest, her face, yet always, always returning to her hands.  Scrubbing and rinsing, scrubbing and rinsing.

It had started out as a good night.

One of the first good nights she had experienced in a long time.

She wasn’t sure what had made her say “yes” when her cubicle mate had asked her, again, to go out with her and some other colleagues.

In the past, the “no” had always been reflex.  Yet, tonight, she paused and somehow managed to say “yes.”

And she had been glad she went.

Not happy.

Happy wasn’t for her, she knew.

Happy had been ripped from her vocabulary, from her reality, years ago.

But she had been glad.

She listened and smiled as her colleagues teased each other and laughed and drank and told stories.  They had an obvious camaraderie and she was somewhat comfortable in their presence, something else that hadn’t happened in awhile.

She should have known.

The moment she let down her guard…well, she just should have known.

She stepped out of the shower and vigorously toweled off.  She wrung out her hair, flipped back her head, wrapped the towel around her body, securing it above her breasts.  She used the side of her fist and rubbed a circle in the mirror.

She gazed at her reflection.

The same.

Strange, she thought.  I was sure I’d look different.

 

Follow the story – Frozen – Part 2 can be found here.

April 8, 2012

How We Spent Our Spring Break

Filed under: Adventuring — Amy @ 6:00 am
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So, this past week was our Spring Break.

Despite the fact that I wanted to relax and just unravel my mind from everything that has been happening around here in the past few weeks, (and get some laundry done), we were busy, busy, busy.

Because, let’s be honest…Spring Break is for the kids.

And so, I did my damnedest to make sure it was about the kids.

Real Man took Monday off and we went to the beach.

On Tuesday, we really yucked it up and the four big kids and I had dentist appointments.

They were wonderful at the dentist, but there were four of us, so the whole experience lasted almost three hours from start to finish.

Tiny was interested in the toys for about 5 minutes.  The other 2 hours and 55 minutes?  Not so much.

We spent the rest of the day playing outside and having fun, finishing up the night with A Dolphin Tale.

On Wednesday, we headed over to my parents house, first thing in the morning, as my Dad was heading out to Ohio that afternoon.  The kids and my Dad played dominoes, did jigsaw puzzles and taught him how to play Words With Friends on his Facebook account.  (I think we may have another addict on our hands)

I spent the morning chasing down Tiny who was loving exploring Grandma’s house.

We had lunch, I gave my Dad a haircut and then we headed out.

By that time, Tiny had snuck in a 10 minute nap, but, unfortunately, that meant he would not sleep again, so at that point, I had everyone go to the bathroom and we headed to our favorite park.

The place was packed but we had a blast.  There was swinging and climbing and sliding and ice cream trucking and everything in between.

We got home in time for me to make dinner, and then we ate, and the monkeys relaxed by watching Mr. Popper’s Penguins in the basement, while Real Man and I watched The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.  The kids were in hysterics in the basement and Real Man and I were intrigued in the living room.  I had read the book, previously, and think that this is a case of the book being better than the movie.  I never read the second one, but I think I’m going to start that one tonight.

Thursday was a day of playing with friends.  The boys had friends over from 11-2 and then we took an hour break and the kids had our old neighbor kids, and good friends, over from 3-5:30.  I would have to say a good time was had by all.

I had to laugh, because my friend, Jen, had recently posted this on her blog.  Ah, playdates.

Friday was a doctor appointment for Mama, then the monkeys and I picked up my friend, Jean, and her kids and headed to Pennsylvania to the Crayola Factory.  Another perk of living where we do!

I had received a deal through Living Social for 4 people for $20, which is half off the regular price.  It covered the older monkeys and I, and Tiny was free.  So, the 8 of us only paid $5 each.  Fantastic.

If you’ve never been, I will warn you it is tight and is probably not organized in the best manner possible.  However, it’s a blast for the kids…particularly if you have Crafty Craftersons like Baby Monkey and Jean’s little girl.  They could have spent hours in every single spot in the place.

A good time was had by all, and it was nice, for all of us, to spend a day with our friends.

Saturday was another great day.

We woke up and I made pancakes for the monkeys.  They loved them.  Tiny still needs to learn moderation, as he tried shoving an entire pancake in his mouth.  Take it slow, little one…take it slow.

Then, Real Man suited up in his sweats, sweatshirt and comfy socks and headed into the office and closed the door behind him to update Quicken and do our taxes.

The monkeys and I suited up and headed to the center of town for the Easter Egg Hunt.  So much fun and the kids all saw friends from school, which made it extra special.

I’m amazed at how much work must go into it, considering how many kids live in our town, but it was really well-run, I thought.  (Except that it started late, but the Bunny shows up on a fire truck, and, apparently, there was a fire call a few minutes before he was supposed to arrive…I guess that takes precedence.)

Each child got a bag with a small chocolate bunny, jelly beans, 2 Blow Pops, 2 pieces of Laffy Taffy, and the most important things, a toothbrush and toothpaste. 🙂

Then, the green was divided into different sections…1-3 year olds, 4-6 year olds, and 7-10 year olds.  My Mom came with us and went with Monkey in the Middle to the 7-10 year old section and I stayed with Baby in the 4-6 section.  When they blew the whistle, Monkey Girl held Baby’s bag and he ran around and got the little foil covered chocolate eggs and dropped them in his bag.

When that was done, there was a raffle.  Each gift bag also had a plastic egg.  On the outside of each egg was a number.  They must have called 50 numbers (I may be exaggerating, but it certainly felt like 50) and those kids got large chocolate bunnies.  My monkeys were so hopeful, but no winners in our house.

When it was all over, we walked over to the library where we had some books to return.  Everyone picked some new books, a few movies and then just browsed for awhile.  Tiny crawled around, checking everything out. So far, he hasn’t discovered the fun of pulling all of the books off the shelf.  I’m sure it’s just a matter of time, but so far, it’s just a nice space for him to crawl.

We went home, had some lunch and then, while Tiny napped, moved ourselves to the basement so as not to distract Real Man.  The big kids bundled on the couch (it was a chilly egg hunt) and watched some On Demand shows and Baby Monkey and I sat at the craft table and colored with the coloring set he got at the Crayola Store on Friday.

We colored every superhero imaginable, and then he decided he wanted to try his watercolors.  He wasn’t thrilled with them.  I never was, either, as a child.  The idea of painting never really lived up to the reality of painting.  It was always my least favorite thing to do in art class, as well.  Bob Ross, I ain’t.

Then, it was time for me.  I went and got my hair cut.  Ahhh..an hour and a half of sitting in a chair, having someone wash my hair, then sitting under the dryer while my roots lighten up, then having my hair blow dried, which is something I never do for myself.  Heaven.  Brought my iPad so I could read (currently reading The Girl Who Played with Fire) and just chilled.  The woman I go to knows that I’m not a chatter, and so she generally leaves me alone.  She has said that it’s relaxing for her, as well, not to have to consistently make up things to talk about.  We work well together.

Came home, got the monkeys, ordered some pizza (I decided that I could take one night off during break…I deserve one night…right?), fooled around with Photo Booth with the big boys:

Ate dinner and then colored our eggs.

Today, we’ll be celebrating Easter with family and then probably just crashing.

Monday is our last day of the break, and I don’t have anything planned.  I’ve snuck in the laundry throughout all this fun and so I don’t even have to spend my last day doing chores.  I can just do whatever and go wherever the day takes us.

This was, probably, the best Spring Break I can remember since the aforementioned Spring Break of ’93 when Kim and I were snowed into Jersey and couldn’t get back to college.  It was just fun and great time with the monkeys.

It’s made me start to dream about summer and imagine the fun we’ll have then.  3 more months to plan and dream!

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