My Real Life

August 27, 2009

Caption Contest

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 7:28 am

Okay, we’re doing well here at my blog. We’re almost up to 100 hits a day. I’d love to see that climb, but more importantly, I’d love to hear from you! I know someone is reading the blog…my stats page prove it. (Unless I have a stalker out there who is reading it 94 times a day!)

So, let’s get a little interaction from you!

Below you will find one of my family’s photos. I’d like you to give it a caption. The contest will run all day, and I will accept entries until 2 am EST Friday, August 28th. The monkeys, Real Man and I will read over the entries and choose a winner.

To participate, just click on the “Leave a Comment” link below.  Fill out the appropriate boxes.  Don’t worry…the e-mail address won’t be made public.  That’s just for me so I can notify you when you’ve won!

But Amy, you ask. If I am judged the most creative entry, will I get a prize? You betcha! The first place winner will get a $25 Barnes and Noble Gift Card. The runner up will get a $10 gift card from Walmart.

So, please participate, spread the word, tell your friends; and remember, you can always feel free to comment on any of the content here at My Real Life.

Here’s a favorite picture of mine of Monkey in the Middle. Have at it, my friends!

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August 26, 2009

Real Job

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 7:08 am

I’m sure you all have been dying with curiosity about what I do with my day. Where does she go? What does she do? More importantly, what does her workspace look like?

Well, here ya go.

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This is my desk, in my office, in my school. Yes, it’s usually this neat and tidy. (Forgive the piles of books in the background…the woman with whom I share my office is the Instructional Leader for Language Arts and so all of the book orders get sent to our office. Once school starts, they’ll be distributed to the classrooms and then what you’d see in front of my desk is a long, clean, shining conference table.)

So, let’s look at the desk of me.

First and foremost, you see the computer. This is where I create Excel spreadsheets out the wazoo. I use that computer to create matrices, rubrics, analyze test scores, create and analyze surveys, send work-related e-mails, create permission slips, create schedules, and do a gajillion other things that an Instructional Leader for Math and Science must do.

Then, you see the pictures of the kids. These are my favorite things on my desk. I love to just look at the pictures and try to imagine what they are doing at right that moment. Are they working hard at their little desks at school? Playing with friends? Thinking about how much they miss their wonderful Mommy?

It’s hard to miss the ginormous container of hand sanitizer. The school district put one on every desk last year when the whole swine flu thing hit. Our area was affected a great deal. The absentee lists were crazy in our town and the surrounding towns. So, even though I don’t teach children in my office, both my partner and I have these on our desks and we make sure to use them frequently.

Tape and stapler, pretty standard in a school. Don’t think they need an explanation.

However, I’d like to point out the Looney Toons pen/pencil holder. I bought that 15 years ago when I got my first, full-time teaching job. It was at a residential school for girls with emotional and psychological disorders. It was a heavy, heavy job. These girls had the roughest lives I had ever heard about. I couldn’t read their files without sobbing. It was the saddest job I’ve ever had. So, one day, I was shopping and I saw this Looney Toons pen/pencil holder on the clearance shelf for $1.00. I bought it and brought it to school. I had one student, Elizabeth. She never smiled. Never. I wouldn’t have ever smiled either, if I had lived the life she had lived. She was only 15. When she walked in the classroom, she saw the pencil holder, looked at me, smiled, and gave me a thumbs up. It was the first, and last, time I saw her smile for that entire year. I will never throw that container away.

The little glass jar that is on the desk was a gift from two students I had in my first year at the school where I currently work. On one side, it has my name. On the other is engraved “#1 Teacher.” I love that jar. 

You may also notice a picture of a dog. We don’t have a dog. Anymore. We did have a dog. Bennie. We bought Ben the year we got married; 1998. He was a puppy. Ben was…interesting. Ben had separation anxiety. We had Ben in doggie daycare, had him on an anti-anxiety medication, had a dog trainer, and spent more money on Ben in 5 years than we’ve spent on three kids in 8 years. Ben was a love. A real love. He was protective of Monkey Girl when she was a baby. She and he were best friends.

Eventually, however, Ben bit Real Man. It was a completely situational thing and probably never would have happened in a different situation, but we realized that if he ever bit one of the kids, we’d never forgive ourselves. So, we found a new family for Bennie. Now, Ben actually lives on a farm in Virginia with acres and acres to play on. I get e-mails from his new owner and he is doing great. I miss that guy, and that’s why, five years later, I still have his picture on my desk.

Then there are the Pop-Up Post It Notes, the tissues, the pile of papers I need to go through, my calculator, my To-Do List book with the orange cover, my water, the rolled up picture of the 8th grade class and chaperones (including me) from our DC trip last May, and my cell phone.

This is my desk. This is where I sit during the day and instructionally lead. These are the things I look at while I’m in my office.

Aren’t you glad you asked? (Yeah, yeah…I know. No one asked. But you wanted to.)

August 25, 2009

Added Another Page

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 7:25 am

My Really Great Things and Real Food page are getting quite a few hits.  So, I figured I’d share, yet another, side of myself with you.

As of this morning, I’ve added a new page, that can be found in the “Pages” list to the right of this post.  It’s called Really Annoying.  Why?  Quite frankly because for as many things that really move me, there are just as many things that annoy me.  I have to believe I’m not the only one, so I figured I’d share.

August 24, 2009

Real Buzz

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 7:35 am
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To save money, I do all the male haircuts around here. I cut Real Man’s hair, Baby Monkey’s Hair and Monkey in the Middle’s Hair. I also cut my father’s hair. My grandma (Dad’s Mom) was a librarian, but she was also a beautician. She had a beauty shop in her basement. When I was a kid, I spent a month each summer out at her house in Ohio. I would sit on the basement steps and watch her cut and foil and color and trim and style and I loved every second of it. There is definitely a latent beautician in me. There’s something about the tidiness of it all. Split ends getting cut off, falling to the floor, being swept away. It gives me quite a thrill.

About 15 years ago, when Real Man and I started dating, I asked for an Osto Clipper Set for Christmas, so I could start cutting his hair. It took awhile for him to trust me with the clippers and his fine head of hair. So, it sat unused. Finally, he got up the courage to let me at it, and apparently I did a good job, because I’ve been his main barber ever since. Poor Elio lost a good client in Real Man. Ah well…his loss, my gain.

Anyway, I cut the all the boys hair around here. It’s a different experience with each body that sits in my chair. When I cut the adult’s hair, we chat. About work, the kids, sports, life, etc. When I cut the boys hair, it’s a different story.

With Monkey in the Middle, I always have to approach the subject of a haircut carefully, because he never remembers from time to time that it wasn’t scary or loud. Then, we ask him to be a big boy and set a good example for Baby Monkey and don’t cry or make a fuss. So, he sits in the chair, covers his ears, gets the bottom lip quiver going and asks me to take off my wedding and engagement rings. One time, one time, the clipper needed oil and so in the middle of shaving his head, the clippers made a godawful sound and he was terrified. I couldn’t tell him it was the clippers themselves, so I said it was my rings, hitting the side of the clippers. Now, the ritual is that the rings have to come off with a big flourish and be set within his eyesight. Then, we turn on the clippers and he covers his ears, and then we ask him to take the hands off the ears and hear that it’s not too loud. Eventually, we get to the point where he giggles and says I’m tickling him and that it’s not loud at all. Eventually, we get to this:

haircut 001

 Then, while Monkey in the Middle is finishing up, Real Man gets Baby Monkey so he can see a smiling, giggling, perfectly content Monkey in the Middle in the chair. He never buys it. As soon as he walks in the kitchen, the tears begin. No amount of example setting by his big brother or reasoning, cajoling or bribing by his parents can calm the storm. I do his head as quickly as possible, which is why his daycare is probably always wondering at the strange, stray hairs that remain and the patches down near the base of his neck that I can’t work around because he refuses to bend his head. Oh, and around the ears is always tricky too.

See if you can guess why.

haircut 002

However, in the end, the boys look sharp and neat and they are rewarded with an extra long bath with every bath toy in the house. Gotta get all the stray hairs off, and these are boys who love their baths, so an extra long one is actually quite a treat. So, I cut their hair because I love it and I’m frugal. But, let’s be honest… I also want to spare any poor, unsuspecting hairdresser from the drama. 

Still, look at the outcome.  Love those kids.

happyboys

August 23, 2009

Real Evil

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 2:39 pm

I know a bit about evil.  Remember, I watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  So, I know about vampires and demons and the devil. 

However, the evil that I deal with is far more frightening.  Far more insidious.  It begins as a small evil and then grows and grows, until it threatens to take over every second of your time and every inch of your home.

That’s right, my friends.  The evil of which I speak is…

laundry

Laundry.

That’s right.  Look at it.  See the heinous beast that lives in my house.  It lives and thrives and grows.  It’s malignancy spreads through my home until it becomes inescapable.  Look at the picture.  You can see that it has even made it’s way to the couch in my bedroom.  Granted, this is a major laundry day and normally, those clothes wouldn’t be there, but still… 

It is the bane of my existence.

There are 5 of us in this house.  There are seven days of the week.  And yet… 

I have a pretty good system going.  I pop in a load in the morning, switch it to the dryer after work.  The next step is where it all breaks down.  Putting the laundry away.  Ugh…

Five different dressers, three different closets.  Stuff to iron.  I hate it.  Laundry is the one area where my normal, organized self falls apart.  For me, there is no chore more tedious, more odius than putting away laundry. 

By tonight, it will all be put away and my home will once again be peaceful, rid of the dread laundry.  But, at bedtime, we’ll all take off our clothes to put on our jammies and our baskets will once again have laundry to be cleaned.

So, bring on the vampires, the demons, the chatty cashier at Walmart.  I can deal with them all.  Just don’t give me laundry.

August 22, 2009

Real Clunker – Update

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 5:53 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

If you read the Real Clunker post, you’ll remember that today was the day I was getting a new car.  Ah well…the best laid plans and all that.

Our first visit was to Mitsubishi to look for the Outlander that their website said they had on the lot.  It was the only Mitsubishi in the area that had the Outlander that qualified for the Clunker program and that had the 3rd row seat which we wanted.

Unfortunately, that particular car was the demo and already had 5,000 miles on it, which is about a years worth of driving for me.  So…that was a no go.

We then decided to hit Toyota, because we also liked the Toyota Rav4.  Like the Outlander; a little nicer.  They had 4 that qualified and that had the 3rd row seat. 

The salesman brought one out from the back.  It had arrived from Japan yesterday.  It was beautiful.  He showed us how to work the third row seat.   He gave me the keys and he and I went for a test drive.  I loved it.  Seriously.  I loved this car.  As we near the lot, after our drive, he asked if I had a trade in.  I said, “Yep.  We knew that as soon as the program expired, my car would die, so we figured we better take advantage!”

Then, he made that sucking in air between the teeth sound.  You know the one.  The one that says either “Oooohhh…major faux pas” or “Ooooohhh…this person is about to be really angry with me.”

“Yeah…well…about that.  We aren’t participating in the clunker program anymore.”

My heart sank and I felt a lot like Adam Sandler talking to his ex-fiance after she dumped him at the altar.  She tells him she isn’t in love with him today; she’s in love with him five years ago.  To which he responds:

“…things that could have been brought to my attention YESTERDAY!”

You don’t write that on the website?  It’s not the first thing you tell people when they walk in the door?  You don’t take down the Cash for Clunkers signs you have hanging all over the dealership?  Would have been helpful to know before I drove the car and fell in love.

Anyway, I completely get why they aren’t doing it anymore.  Turns out the government wasn’t actually paying the owner of the dealership back in a timely fashion and so he said that he was gonna opt out before he put out any more money.  I get it.  But tell a girl, huh?

So, looks like I’ll continue driving my clunker until it clunks it’s final clunk.  If you happen to be in the area and see pieces of a Dodge Grand Caravan Minivan on the side of the road, chances are, it belongs to me.  Could you pick it up for me?  I’m a whiz with the Super Glue.

Real Help

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 7:58 am

I’m a believer in kids doing chores.  Nothing that is above their developmental level, but we’re a family and we all help out.

As the oldest, Monkey Girl has the most chores, but she also has a chore chart where she gets stickers for doing her chores and then gets an allowance at the end of the week for whatever she did.  It’s not a flat $5 a week, as my feeling is, in real life, you only get paid for the work you do.  So, she has the opportunity to earn up to $8 a week if she does every chore, every day.  However, let’s be honest…some days, she forgets to make her bed, so no sticker, so no .25 for that chore.  Get it?

Anyway, my favorite chore of hers is emptying the dishwasher.  When the green light is on, showing that the dishes are clean and dry, she is responsible for emptying it all out.  However, although she’s quite tall for her age, she’s still too short to reach all the shelves in the cabinets.  So, the deal we have is that she’ll take the dishes out and organize them on the counter, and I’ll come along later to put them away.

Why is this my favorite chore of hers?  Well, because I never know exactly what I’m going to find in the kitchen after she’s unloaded the dishwasher, but I always know it’s going to make me laugh.  One day, the dishes were all arranged on the counter island into a big smiley face.

Yesterday afternoon, this is what I found:

Jdishes

Oh boy, do I love that girl.

August 21, 2009

Real Clunker

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 9:05 am

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So, tomorrow Real Man and I are heading to the car dealer to take advantage of the Cash for Clunkers program.  The minivan above has been my home away from home for the past 9 years.  We’ve been toying with the possibility of getting me a new car as we’ll be paying off Real Man’s truck in September and could pick up a car payment without much discomfort.  However, we aren’t good at spending money.  It’s difficult for us to part with money.  So, it’s been a tough decision.

I realize that from this particular view, this doesn’t look like much of a clunker.  But, let me bring you closer.

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During the one week I worked at camp this summer, someone backed into my car and drove away sometime during the day.  Here is the first of the dents from that occurrence.   The big problem from this hit and run was that they must have hit the van hard because I was unable to open the passenger door.

So, here is where Real Man used some type of lever-thingy to pry the metal back so we could open the door.

IMG_0968

Okay, looking at that picture, I realize it’s hard to see, but the paint chipped away with the crowbar.

 

Right about now, most people are thinking, ‘Why wouldn’t she have gotten that fixed?’  My answer is because it was cosmetic damage and it didn’t affect the running of the car.  Again, hate to spend money.

Another cosmetic problem that I deal with on this van is a factor of aging, not neglect or unfortunate happenings is the pretty strip on the side of the car.  Yeah, mine?  Not so pretty.  It flaps on and off when you open and close the door, and if you get going at a good clip on the highway, you can hear it slapping against the side of the car.

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Another example of someone scraping me and running is here:

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‘Hmmm…Amy is sure quick to blame other people for the damage to her car.  I think she probably is just a very bad driver.’

Yeah, I can hear you.  All of these were done by others.  However, I certainly can take the blame when the blame is warranted.  So, here’s the damage that happened in my accident on my way to take Baby Monkey to a birthday party last year:

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Also, the license plate fell off in that accident and I’ve been driving around with it in the front window ever since, as evidenced by this shot:

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So, here’s the concern.  It’s all cosmetic damage.  The van works just fine.  I get the oil changed regularly and I really don’t have any trouble with the driving of the van.

However, Real Man and I have terrible, TERRIBLE  luck.  We are the ultimate bad luck couple.  Someday I’ll write a Real Bad Luck post and fill you in on all the ridiculously unfortunately things that happen to Real Man and I, and it’s all just bad luck.  So, our concern is that if we don’t take advantage of this and trade in the van for the clunkers program, as soon as the program expires at 8:00 on Monday evening, the van will die.  The blue book value is less than $3500 on this van in fabulous condition, so you can imagine what we’d get for it in the condition it’s in.

Wish us luck.  With any luck and some good negotiating, I may be driving this by tomorrow night:

2008%20Mitsubishi%20Outlander

Anyone have any reviews of the Mitsubishi Outlander?  We’ve done our research, but I’d love to hear from anyone with some real life experience with this car.

For now, though, I’m real excited.

August 20, 2009

New Page

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 12:28 pm

I’ve added a new page to this blog.  We have this main page, My Real Life, and we have the Real Food Page.  Today I am adding Things That REAL-ly Move Me.  There are some things in life that just make me very happy, and I figured I’d share those with you.

So, when you come to check this blog (every day, I’m sure) make sure you check out the things that really move me.  There will be many!

August 19, 2009

Real Tired

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 1:13 pm

So, you know how sometimes you are so tired, but you become instantly annoyed if someone tells you that you should probably go to sleep or take a nap? 

My boys are like this.  They are sure that they are never in need of  a nap. 

Me: “Patrick, I think you are a little tired and that’s why you are so grumpy.”

Patrick: “I’m not a baby!  I don’t need a nap!”

sleepypat

 

Me: “Matty, you look really tired, honey.  You keep rubbing your eyes!”

Matthew:  “I’m not a baby!  I don’t need a nap!”

sleepymatt

Me: “Matty…I think you are going to fall asleep right there.  Why don’t you let me put you in your crib for a bit?”

Matthew:  “No!  I AM NOT TIRED!”

IMG_0954

I really feel bad for these kids that they have a mother who doesn’t know them at all.

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