My Real Life

July 1, 2010

Reality Check

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 12:17 pm
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Lest you think all is rainbows and butterflies around here, let’s talk about yesterday.

After I got home from work, my Mom took the kids and I to meet Real Man at the local diner for lunch.

That was great.

When we were done, Real Man went back to work and the monkeys and I came home. 

We decided to walk to what we call “the Big Park.”

It’s a nice walk, uphill, to a park with something for everyone, including basketball nets, and our county-wide path system.

Usually, we can spend hours at the big park.

We no sooner arrive than Monkey in the Middle says, “Mommy, I have to go potty.”

I said, “Okay, let’s head into the woods and you can go there.”

He shakes his head and says “Not tinkle, Mom.”

So, we head back down the hill in a ridiculously fast walking pace.

As we get near our neighborhood, I toss him the key and he starts running.

By the time Baby Monkey and I catch up, both Monkey Girl and Monkey in the Middle are chillin’ in separate bathrooms.

Baby Monkey and I play a card game, and the other two finally emerge.

I’m a little wary, now, so we pile in the car and decide to drive to the big park.

As we head down our hill, Monkey in the Middle yells from the back seat, “I gotta throw up!”

I pull over as quickly as I can and he unbuckles, races to the door, and as he tries to pull it open, throws up all over his arm and the floor of the van.

Oh, don’t worry, a little bit got outside.

I search through the car, but I have no wipes or tissues or anything of the sort.

However, there were socks.

There are always socks.

My kids take their socks off everywhere, and never remember to pick them up.

The result?

Socks everywhere you turn.

Even in my glove compartment.

Anyway, I clean him up with some socks and we come home.

The kids couldn’t understand why we had to come home and couldn’t continue on to the park.

I muttered something about having to clean up the van, and the first two attempts weren’t fantastic and bad things happen in threes and because I said so, that’s why.

We wound up spending the afternoon playing card games and board games.

No park.

In fact, I may not take the monkeys anywhere ever again.

Of course, I may change my mind.

3 Comments »

  1. I’m retching here… half laughing half retching cause vomit? OMG – I so can’t do vomit. Totally hysterical over the rest too plus, I think I got some of your socks here. On the other hand could be my kids socks… or the sock from when he was two. He’s nineteen by the way and still leaves his socks everywhere. Peels ’em off and tosses them.

    The good news is for the rest of your life when some one pukes, there will always be socks.

    You are too funny.

    omg

    Tracy

    Comment by the crazy suburban mom — July 1, 2010 @ 12:39 pm | Reply

  2. I hate when things happen like that -Such as the Mom Mayhem 😉

    Comment by Angela — July 1, 2010 @ 2:14 pm | Reply

  3. Awww… poor little “monkey in the middle”! I hope he feels better and I hope this stomach bug didn’t float through your house to the rest of the kiddies! Hope you are enjoying your summer so far!

    ~Michelle Leibrecht
    P.S.- Julia needs to go into acting/singing/dancing etc… she is so theatrical in the videos on your website- I just love it!

    Comment by Michelle — July 1, 2010 @ 5:32 pm | Reply


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