My Real Life

February 6, 2012

If You Give a Mom an Hour

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 6:00 am
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So, as I wrote my post about my brain not shutting off while I was trying to sleep, the other night, I was reminded of the “If You Give a  Mouse a Cookie” books.  Several people commented that that post reminded them of the books, as well.

I decided to go ahead and give a stab at actually writing a post along the lines of the books.

So, here’s what might happen…

If You Give a Mom an Hour

If Dad takes the kids to the park and you give a Mom an hour…

She’s going to want a cup of tea.

She’ll turn on the tea kettle and reach for a mug in the cabinet.

Except, there won’t be any mugs.

So she’ll open the dishwasher that is full of clean dishes, because her daughter (whose chore it is to unload) hasn’t gotten around to emptying it yet.

She’ll pull out the mug, and then spot the dirty dishes in the sink, and decide to empty and reload the dishwasher.

When she’s done, she’ll go to sit down to wait for the kettle, and as she walks to the table, her foot will crunch on a Cheerio.

She’ll grab the broom from the laundry room and sweep the kitchen floor.

As she empties the dustpan into the garbage, she’ll notice that it’s pretty full, and she’ll take it out to the trash bins.

As she walks back into the house, she’ll notice a tricycle, left in a corner of the driveway.

When she wheels it back to it’s spot in the garage, she’ll find her 5 year old’s baseball cap.

She’ll pick it up and take it inside, and up to his room, tripping on a toy on the stairs.

After dropping off the hat, she’ll pick up the toy and take it to the basement, discovering the empty popcorn bowl from the night before.

As she brings the bowl to the kitchen, she’ll turn off the kettle, knowing it’s about to whistle, will grab a tea bag, and will pour the hot water into her mug.

She’ll know it’s too hot to drink, so she’ll turn to the pantry to find something to nibble on with her tea and will find an empty box of 100 Calorie snack packs.

She’ll break down the cardboard and will notice two empty cereal boxes on the counter, so she’ll break those down, too.

As she carries them to the laundry room, where the cardboard is kept, the dryer will buzz, and she’ll pull out the clothes and hang them, quickly, before they wrinkle.

Then, she’ll move the clothes from the washer into the dryer and realize she forgot to get the basket of dirty clothes from her room.

So, she’ll trudge back upstairs and head to her bedroom.

As she grabs the laundry basket, she’ll notice that someone probably crawled into her bed to watch television and she needs to remake the bed.

While she’s making the bed, she’ll step on an empty inhaler that she probably dropped there, in the night, after using it.

She’ll look in her nightstand to see if she has another, and when she realizes she doesn’t, she’ll quickly call the pharmacy to renew the prescription.

When she hangs up the phone, she’ll see her iPad and remember that she was in the middle of a good part in her book (on the Nook) when she fell asleep last night, so she’ll put the iPad on top of the laundry in the basket and bring it downstairs with her.

She’ll load up the washer, pick up the iPad, and walk back to the counter.

Her tea will be just the right temperature for drinking, so she’ll take the iPad and the tea to the living room, and as she sinks into the comfy couch, the front door will open.

“Mom!  We’re home!”

7 Comments »

  1. I can see the entire process in my minds eye as you write – next time ask for two hours in the park.

    Comment by Ellin Lawrence — February 6, 2012 @ 9:44 am | Reply

    • Trust me, Mom…I get two hours, I’ll find two hours of things to keep me busy! 🙂

      Comment by abozza — February 6, 2012 @ 10:03 am | Reply

  2. This is my life in a nutsheel.

    Comment by nicdowell — February 6, 2012 @ 5:13 pm | Reply

  3. And by sheel, I meant shell.

    Comment by nicdowell — February 6, 2012 @ 5:14 pm | Reply

    • LOL…of course you did! 🙂

      Comment by abozza — February 6, 2012 @ 9:33 pm | Reply

  4. Even in retirement the “mothering”behavior continues. The ONLY way to get that so-called free time is if you can send the family to the beach…. for a couple of days. Only then can you be assured of having at least 1 hour to yourself. Take it from me, it’s TRUE :0)

    Comment by Carla — February 6, 2012 @ 9:31 pm | Reply

    • Because you retired from being a teacher…NOT from being a Mom or a woman! And, I’d like to see them try to get to the beach without me! 🙂

      Comment by abozza — February 6, 2012 @ 9:33 pm | Reply


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