My Real Life

April 19, 2010

Saying Goodbye

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 8:05 pm

I’ve been pretty sad the past few days, as I received an e-mail from the current owner of our old dog, Bennie.

I think I’ve mentioned Bennie before.

He was something else.

We had Ben from 1998-2004, and since then, Ben has been living with a couple named Gail and Scott, first in Delaware, now in Virginia.

We were so happy to have Bennie go to a home where he had acres on which to run, and people who loved him for the difficult, goofy dog he was.

Awhile back, I received an e-mail from Gail that Ben had cancer.  He had fast growing tumors and they were battling the best they could.

(Gail has been wonderful about keeping us informed about Bennie over the years.)

For some time now, Bennie has been fighting the good fight.

Then, on Saturday, I received this e-mail:

Hi Amy,

I just wanted to let you know that Bennie is deteriorating. The cancer has really taken hold and his entire neck is wrapped in tumors that are almost doubling in size daily. They had been growing but Ben was taking it in stride and adapting. He was still taking his daily walks in the woods but seemed to shorten them a little each day. He was going out every morning and evening for feeding time of the farm animals and would find a place to lay where he could keep an eye on us.

He had been getting a bit wobbly on his back legs a week ago, but still got around OK. We did block off the stairs so he couldn’t go up because we didn’t want to chance him falling. His appetite has been good though, but he eats mashed or pureed canned dog food now. I have a bucket in the kitchen for his water to bring it up to a height he can manage to drink from.

Today was the first day he didn’t want to go for a walk and we didn’t get any tail wags from him. The neck tumors broke through the skin a couple of days ago and I’ve been changing his bandages twice a day. His head has swelling that is increasing and the vet said that is from peripheral circulation going bad. I did talk to the vet today and I have pain medicine for him(an injection).  He had his first shot this evening and is resting comfortably. If he gets agitated or in increased pain, we will have our local vet come to the house to euthanize him.

I get tears in my eyes when I am in the kitchen and start to put something up out of Ben’s reach. There’s no need for that now and it breaks my heart. We have had seven wonderful years with Ben and though he had many quirks we had to work with, he is our Bennie and I can’t imagine not having him as part of our family.

He has a good life and lots of love, and that will continue until he can no longer be here with us. Thank you for letting us have Ben in our lives.

Gail & Scott     

So, I’m sad.

I find myself crying over little things that shouldn’t make me cry, and I just wish I could be there with him.

He was a crazy dog…no doubt about it…but he was a big, mushy love, and I loved him so very much.

If you have a pet, go give him or her a big hug.  Whisper in their ears that you love them, and give them extra kisses.

As for me, I just need a little time, and I’ll be back to my old self.

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