‘Cuz I’m writing about my weight.
Get it?
The title?
I crack myself up.
Unfortunately, I’m also close to cracking my scale, these days.
As I wrote in my post about my goals for the year, I was good to myself this summer.
Very good to myself.
So good to myself that, although I did hit the treadmill on a regular basis, I gained a considerable amount of weight for my size.
With school starting next week, my clothes barely fit, and in some instances, don’t fit at all.
I wear my weight pretty well, so it may not be instantly visible to the casual observer, but my clothes know and my scale knows.
See, I’ve been playing that game.
You know the one.
Where you say, “I’m not going to worry about my weight, as long as it doesn’t hit that number.”
And then, when it actually hits that number, you say “Ah, you know what? That’s not such a terrible number. As long as I don’t hit that number,” and on and on it goes until you are rationalizing numbers you haven’t seen since you were 8 months pregnant.
Real Man doesn’t care.
The guy has his love blinders on and thinks I’m beautiful and sexy no matter what.
But, I do.
I don’t like the way I feel in my clothes, and I don’t like the way I feel in my body.
Also, I worry about my diabetes moving into the full-blown stage.
The correlation between weight and belly fat and insulin-dependent diabetes is high, and I don’t want to get to that stage.
I worry that I’m at an age where my body is going to cement itself into it’s current shape, and so I want to do something now, before it’s too late.
But what?
I love food.
Love it.
So much.
My former office-mate once said that he had never seen someone eat the way that I do and not weigh 400 pounds.
I guess that’s a good thing?
I use the My Fitness Pal app to track my food and exercise, and I’m great at holding myself accountable.
Sorta.
But, on the days when I’m being really good, I’m really hungry, and food is all I can think about.
And, with the school year about to start, I honestly cannot figure out when I’m going to have time for the treadmill, or strength training, which is where I think I probably need to go in order to start reshaping myself.
I’m probably not going to write about it, but I wanted to, at least, get this part out there, because I always feel like the more people who know about something I’m trying to do, the better I’ll be at achieving it.
I’m not so good at being accountable to myself.
Accountable to others?
That I can do.
So, wish me luck, because although it was good to be good to myself, I have a lot of people relying on me to be healthy and strong.
