My Real Life

December 24, 2011

Small Surprises

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 7:46 am
Tags: ,

Wednesday was a tough day for me.

I had stayed home from school, sick, on Tuesday, and by Wednesday, I really wasn’t feeling any better, but I don’t stay out two days in a row unless I am vomiting or in the hospital.

So, back to school I went, feeling really crappy.

I love my students and I love play practice, but 7-4 makes for a long day when you aren’t feeling well.

After play rehearsal, I headed home and was thinking about everything that needed to be done before my piano lesson arrived at 4:45, when all I really wanted to do was curl up on the couch under a blanket.

I walked in the door and didn’t get two steps inside before the boys were shouting at me, with excitement, about their school parties that day.

Baby Monkey said, “Look what my teacher gave me!”

It was bendy sticks.

They are sticky and bendy and kids love them, but I always find them stuck to everything whenever we’ve had them in the house before.

And what Baby Monkey was showing me was actually an empty plastic backing for the bendy sticks, which meant they were already stuck to surfaces throughout the house.

I didn’t feel well, I was tired, and was imagining the worst.

I was about to start in with “I better not find those bendy sticks all over this house…it will take forever to find them all…” when Baby Monkey took me by the hand and dragged me into the kitchen, happily yelling (because everything is a yell) “Look what me and Patrick made for you!”

…and just like that, the day turned around.

Not sure when my 5, 7 year old and I reached the first name basis status, but still.

This is a good thing for us all to remember in this season of bigger and better, more and more, gluttony and excess…that it’s the little things and the small surprises that matter the most.

December 21, 2011

Butter

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 7:02 am
Tags: , ,

I love the internet.

I know things I never would have known if I didn’t have the ability to go online every day.

Some things are important.

I read as much of the news as I can online, and I wind up knowing more about what’s going on in the world than ever before.

And sometimes, that’s a good thing.

And sometimes it’s just strange.

Did you know there’s a butter crisis in Norway?

A butter crisis.

There are nations throughout the world where people don’t even have bread or water, and Norway is in the midst of a butter crisis.

People are being arrested for smuggling butter into Norway.

Butter.

A butter crisis.

I’m not sure I can say those words enough.

Anyway, back to the internet.

Without the net, I probably wouldn’t have been made aware of this horrifying crisis.

And, since I zonk out pretty early each night, I would definitely not have seen Stephen Colbert’s response to Norway’s butter crisis.

Because, let’s face it…the news isn’t important if someone isn’t making fun of it.

So, now, through the magic of the internet, I share this funny bit with you.

Enjoy…and I’ll be taking up a collection for the poor, butterless Norwegians in my next post.

December 20, 2011

Rock Star Christmas

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 8:08 am
Tags:

So, I’ve always wanted to be a rock star.

I’ve also always known it was never going to happen.

However, I’ve recently rekindled my rock star dreams.

Not for the money.

Not for the fame.

Simply so that I can record a rock and roll Christmas song.

Cuz, when you’re a rock star, you can record any Christmas song you want.

And it will get lots and lots of play.

Because, when stations go “All Christmas, All The Time,” let’s face it…

…there are only so many songs to play.

So, if you’ve got a name, you’ve got the go-ahead to make a Christmas recording.

This post was sparked by listening to Stevie Nicks wretching out Silent Night.

I listen to it and I imagine some 80 year old woman, teetering around on too-high heels, wearing too much makeup, microphone in one hand, vodka on the rocks in the other, winking at strange men as she makes her rounds of the cocktail lounge.

It’s that good.

But, Stevie doesn’t have the corner on horrifying Christmas songs.

Madonna.

I have always been one of her biggest fans.

Yet, even a 15 year-old me knew that she was way, way out of her league with “Santa Baby.”

Her version was actually a little creepy.

Then we have Wham! and “Last Christmas.”

Seriously?

The lyrics, the totally ‘80’s melody.

Bad news.

Band-Aid with “Do They Know it’s Christmas Time?”

I have never been able to take that one seriously.

It’s just too self-righteous and selfish for my taste.

Not really like, “let’s help these people,” but more like, “these people have some serious problems…they don’t even know it’s Christmas, but phewf…at least it’s not us!”

The show Glee took the song to it’s lowest point, last week, when the kids from the McKinley High Glee club stood in the soup kitchen, singing the song to the poor people eating their soup kitchen Christmas dinner, and actually had the nerve to sing the words “Well, tonight thank God it’s them, instead of you.”

Band-Aid, I think those “clanging chimes of doom” are ringing for you.

Then, there are just the plain, old bad Christmas songs.

I know some people love them, but there are some songs that just make me twitch.

“Christmas Shoes” is the worst offender.

It is clearly a song written to make people cry.

Why?  Why would you do that to people?

“Father Christmas” by the Kinks.

I can’t get on board with that one.

“Father Christmas, give me some money.”

Seriously?

A group of jerky kids mugging Santa?

And two classics that I cannot tolerate…

“Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer”

AND

“Dominic the Donkey.”

Sorry, but I just can’t do it.

Those two make my ears bleed.

So, yes, when I become a rock star, I’m going to write a Christmas song.

But, I haven’t yet decided if I’m going to go for greatness, or if I’ll try to write the most spectacularly bad Christmas song of all time.

I think the latter would be a lot more fun.

 

 

 

December 19, 2011

Pay It Forward

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 7:17 am
Tags: ,

I came across this article, yesterday, and am completely struck by it.

It has definitely inspired me, and I’ve decided to share it with you, in the hopes that it might inspire more people, as well.

I’d love if we could all catch the spirit of the gestures in the article and pay it forward in our own ways.

We don’t have to go big, as we all know that small gestures are often just as, if not more, meaningful than big ones.

So, please read the article and I challenge you to find a way to be inspired and help spread the kindness this holiday season.

December 18, 2011

10 Things I Heart Today

Can’t resist ’em.

Sweet and salty, crunchy texture.

Totally addicted to these.

It’s dark, it’s twisted (much like the chocolate covered pretzels) and I’m completely hooked.

This week is the season finale and I’m going to be so sad to have to wait for next season!

If you like shows that make you go “Huh?” you’ve definitely got to watch!

This was the Christmas album of my youth.

It’s not the season, for me, until I hear some 1959 Christmas tunes.

So rich and soulful and beautiful…I am always loving this album.

And, along the lines of the season, is my love for the movie “White Christmas.”

I’ve already touched on this in a Five Question Friday post, so I’ll leave it at the fact that, this movie…I dig.

To go along with the movie, “White Christmas” is the fact that I completely dig an actual white Christmas, although weather.gov is telling me a different story for this year.

Alas, it seems as though I’ll only have a white Christmas in my dreams, but thoughts of a white Christmas is something I am loving today.

Cuz really…who doesn’t love puppies?

Especially sleeping ones.

I love this quote.

I teach middle school, and find this quote to be useful every single day.

There’s just something about that building.

All those books, all that quiet.

The monkeys, the tree.

All of it, good stuff.

Sleeping, smushy baby faces.

Lord, help me.

(All photos, except the ones of my monkeys from flickr.com and weheartit.com)

December 17, 2011

The Elephant in the Room

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 8:14 am
Tags: ,

During my 20 minute lunch, I will often call Real Man, just to check in and chat.

I miss that guy during the day.

So, on Friday, I called during lunch and we chatted for a bit.

I said, “The Smurfs” is coming from Netflix today.  I say we call a family movie night and snuggle up and watch with the kids.  They’ve been dying, waiting for it to come.”

Real Man said, “Will we watch the movie before or after you make the gingerbread house with the kids?”

Silence on my end of the phone.

See, some people have the elephant in the room.

Our family has the unopened Gingerbread House kit in the room.

A few years ago, while in the grocery store, the kids asked if we could get a gingerbread house kit.

I said sure, instantly creating warm, fuzzy images in my head of the kids and I, hovering over the kitchen table, laughing and loving as we made a gingerbread house together.

Then, when it was done, it would be all we could do to not begin to eat and destroy it immediately.

Ah, what fun we’d have.

We put the box in the cart and headed home.

However, every time I’d look at that box in the pantry, the warm visions I’d had at the store would be pushed out of the way with new visions of pushing and shoving and kids yelling “Hey!  It’s my turn!  Move!  You’re in my way!  I want to put the red candy on!” and I’d find a reason why we just couldn’t put together the gingerbread house today.

That gingerbread house sat in my pantry for three years.

Every holiday season, the kids would ask to make the house and every year, I’d put them off with “Another day, another time,” while thinking in my head, “Another year.”

When we moved in July, I saw my chance.

While packing up the pantry, I took that box and tossed it in the trash.

There were no kids around to witness it, and it felt so liberating to get that sugary monkey off my back.

I had, quite frankly, forgotten all about the gingerbread house until last weekend, when Monkey Girl and I went to Walmart to get a gift for a friend.

As we passed the Christmas aisle, she turned to me and said, “Oh Mommy…please can we get a gingerbread house?  And MAKE it?”

And there I was, once again, filled with visions of happy children, squealing with delight as I put a dollop of icing on each of their noses, Christmas carols playing sweetly in the background.  The baby, giggling with glee as he watched the merriment from his high chair.

And I put the damn thing in the cart, came home and put it in the pantry.

Where it has been, since last weekend.

So, when Real Man threw down the gingerbread gauntlet on Friday afternoon, it was a challenge that had to be met.

Kids got off the bus on Friday and I said, “Does anyone have any plans this afternoon?”

They didn’t, so I said, “How about it we make our Gingerbread House and then have movie night with “The Smurfs?”

The screams of joy assuaged the small tic I had developed, just saying the words “Make the gingerbread house.”

And you know what?

It was fun.

We decided to scrap the directions and make our own design.

There was a little pushing and shoving, and a few “You put on more gumdrops than me!” but for the most part, it was fun.

A lot of fun.

It ain’t going on display at the Gingerbread Museum (I have a feeling it won’t last much longer than tomorrow night, anyway) but it’s a pretty darn good representation of what’s important to these monkeys.

And I love it.

December 16, 2011

Crazy Hair Day A.K.A. Tear My Hair Out Day

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 11:14 am
Tags:

It is Spirit Day, today, at the boys school.

And, in addition to just wearing your Spirit Day clothing, it’s Crazy Hair day.

Never a problem when Monkey Girl’s school has Crazy Hair day.

Her hair can be fairly crazy on a normal day.

However, I’ve got two boys with tight crew cuts.

Crazy Hair day and my boy’s hair doesn’t quite mix.

However, it’s been a few weeks since I last took the electric clippers to their hair, so we had a little to work with.

A little.

Last night, at dinner, Baby Monkey decided he wanted me to shave a mohawk in his hair.

It’s the best I could do with his hair as short as it was.

He had hoped for a crazy, punk-like mohawk, but based on the fact that he can’t stop looking at it in the mirror, I think he’s happy.

But then, he’s always happy.

So easy to please.

Then it was time to think about Monkey in the Middle.

He was NOT down with the mohawk.

He can barely tolerate a regular haircut.

A mid-season shave wasn’t going to happen.

So, we brainstormed.

He decided we should use hairspray and try to make it stick up as much as possible.

Great idea.

Except I don’t have hairspray.

I don’t have hairspray or mousse or gel or any other hair product, other than shampoo and conditioner.

And, apparently, this makes me mean.

Apparently, the reason I stopped using hair products, once I graduated from high school, is because someday, I knew I would have a 7 year old boy who would need hairspray for Crazy Hair day, and I wanted to be sure that he couldn’t participate.

Apparently, my lack of hairspray is a direct reflection of my lack of love for my 7 year old son.

Apparently, my low-maintenance cosmetic lifestyle means that I love one of my kids less than I love the other three.

At least, this is what Monkey in the Middle was telling me last night.

After some books and some cuddling, there were apologies (from him) and assurances that we’d figure something out (from me) and he slept.

Around 5:30 this morning, however, I woke to the uncanny feeling that someone was staring at me.

I opened my eyes to find Monkey in the Middle standing next to my side of the bed.

“So, what are we going to do with my hair?” he whispered.

And so it began again.

We tried using Monkey Girl’s detangler to see if it might dry hard and make his half a centimeter long strands of hair stand straight up, but to no avail.

By 6:00 am, I was online looking up homemade hairspray recipes and Googling things like “Will Jell-O powder stain the skin?” and “Food Coloring for Hair?”

We were both exasperated and frustrated and about ready to give up when I finally said, “How about stickers?”

He looked at me blankly.

“Why don’t we cover your hair in stickers?  That’s kinda crazy, right?”

He loved it.

The stickers took hold of those little strands of hair and held on strong.

And so, while it may not have been the craziest hair of the day, it made him feel like a part of it all.

And we’re good.

Until January.

Five Question Friday

Filed under: Five Question Friday — Amy @ 1:31 am
Tags:
1. What’s the best Christmas present you’ve ever received?
Interestingly, I covered this in last week’s Five Question Friday.
It was an electric typewriter that I received when I was a kid, enjoying Christmas at my grandparents house in Ohio.
Sometimes, when I’m doing some writing, I still wish I had that typewriter.
There is something about the click, click, click of the keys on a typewriter that makes the writing seem that much more fascinating.
2. Worst/Funniest White Elephant gift ever received?
I kinda take a White Elephant gift exchange for what it is.
You get what you get and you don’t get upset.
However, one year, I was at a holiday party and we were playing the gift exchange game.
One of the people at the party was a recent transport from down South and wasn’t really sure what to bring for a gift.
So, she brought a carved, wooden squirrel.
The woman who opened the squirrel had some very unkind things to say about it, and I remember watching as the giver just kinda slunk out of the room, got her coat, and went home.
I remember feeling sick to my stomach and so sad for her.
Someone had already reprimanded the woman who had made the remarks, but it put a fairly abrupt end to the game.
Again, I say…You get what you get and you don’t get upset.
3. Is your Christmas tree plain and simple (white lights and matching ornaments) or is it wild and crazy (colored lights with lots of ornaments collected over the years)?
It’s a mix.
White lights and a mish-mosh of ornaments.
Handmade ornaments from the kids to handmade ornaments from my childhood and fancy ornaments we’ve been given over the years.
I have four kids.  I can’t imagine not having their ornaments displayed proudly right next to the fancy ones.
It makes them feel special and it shows the world that this is who we are.
Our tree is a good reflection of our lives.
Messy and complicated, inconsistent with lights that work some days and don’t others, and pretty and polished when we’re working at it, but basically, just a happy celebration of six lives lived together, for better or worse.
4. “How” do you iron your clothes? The old fashioned iron/ironing board way, the shower, back in the dryer, etc.
Ahahahahhahahahaha.
Oh, wait, that wasn’t a joke?
Now that I’m finally on top of the laundry situation around here (yes, you read that right…I’ve conquered my demon) I do my ironing like this:
When the dryer buzzes, I jump up from wherever I am, race to the dryer, fling open the door and pull out the still hot clothes.  I give them a good shake and hang them right on a hanger.
Viola!
Clothes ironed.
5. How much baking do you do for Christmas and what are your “must make” items? (I’m looking for recipes here, peeps…)
I do about this much baking for Christmas.
What?
You can’t see that?
Exactly.
Okay, that’s an exaggeration.
I usually bake for the custodians and secretaries at my school.
I know the principal gets the big bucks, but let’s be honest…without the custodians and secretaries, the school doesn’t function.
Ask any teacher.
They know.
However, I usually just do chocolate chip or plain, old sugar cookies.
Last year, though, I took Rolo candies,  put them in the oven for a few minutes, then pressed them on top of pretzel squares.  (Google Rolo’s and pretzels for recipe)  Actually, they are probably in last year’s December blog posts.
Those were ridiculously delicious.
Other than that…not a holiday baker.
And thus ends another edition of Five Question Friday.

December 15, 2011

Another Reminder

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 7:20 am
Tags: ,

I’ve said before that I completely realize the backwardness of drawing people to my blog, only to redirect them to another blog.

However, sometimes I read something that I just can’t help but share.

This is one of those times.

A colleague of mine posted a link to this guys website, and I just love, love, loved this particular post.

We’ve pared down Christmas considerably this year, and reading this post helped me to remember that I don’t need to feel guilty about that.

So, stop your shopping, because here are the 5 best toys of all time!

Enjoy!

December 14, 2011

How I Know

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 9:41 am
Tags: , , , ,

It’s that time of year, again, when we all get the sniffles and coughs and regularly scheduled winter ailments.

However, for me, I’m never quite sure if it’s allergies or an actual cold.

I can guess, but I’m never really sure.

So, I take this medicine or that medicine until something takes and that’s how I diagnose…based on what works.

However, there is one surefire way for me to tell whether it’s allergies or a cold, and it’s by looking at my nightstand in the morning.

I’ve been under the weather for about a week, now.

I power through, but it’s starting to wear me down.

Yet, I haven’t known what to take (and can’t take much anyway, as I’m still nursing) so it persists.

This morning, however, I was able to make my diagnosis.

It’s a cold, verging on bronchitis.

Hmmm…what tipped me off?

See, I’m a sleep-medicator.

Some people sleepwalk, sleep-eat, sleep-lots of things.

Me?

I sleep-medicate.

Apparently, in the night, the coughing got so bad that it triggered my asthma, which caused me to, in my sleep, sit up and rifle through my nightstand drawer to find an inhaler.

And, apparently, the first one was empty.

So, I went for the second.

Which was also empty.

I must have finally found what I needed in the third, and went back to sleep.

I remember none of this.

This is why I don’t keep any other medications in my nightstand drawer.

I also think that I need to throw out those empty inhalers.

But that’s another post.

« Previous PageNext Page »

Theme: Rubric. Get a free blog at WordPress.com