My Real Life

So, the other day, I wrote about the top 5 things I do that make my husband crazy.

I thought it would only be fair if I devoted equal time to my better qualities.

So, today, I offer you:

The 5 Top Things That Make Me a Catch

1.  I’m a cheap date.

I work full-time, teach piano after work, come home and parent four kids and take care of a house.

I’m happy just to get out for a few minutes.

So, I don’t need to be wined and dined.

In fact, I don’t really drink, so Real Man doesn’t even have to spend money on alcohol if we go out.

I’m not a stickler about what constitutes a meal when it comes to feeding myself (I’m a little stricter about what I like to feed the kids) so I’m happy with a shared large bucket of popcorn at the movies as my dinner.

Heck, I may or may not change out of my jeans/sweats if we go to a movie, so he doesn’t need to worry about gussying himself up, either, which means spending less on clothes.

We take the kids to the movies and earn points on our Stubs card, so by the time we get to a movie ourselves, we’ve usually earned enough points for the movie and the food to be free.

We’re already married, so he doesn’t have to worry about trying to get me back to his place afterwards, so no post-date schmoozing required.

For Real Man, dating me is easy.

—–

2.  I’m around children all day.

My history students, my piano students, my own monkeys.

This means I’m surrounded by pre-teen and small child banter all day long, and while I enjoy it immensely, by the time Real Man comes home, when he starts talking, I hang on every word of the adult talk.

Really, honey?  They’ve implemented a new system for the QR3 integration with the 507 forms, which gets implemented with the database?

Tell me more.

Because his stories usually don’t involve excuses about homework, boyfriend troubles, One Direction, farts, poop, or vomit.

I’m a great audience.

—–

3.  The way my teeth are situated in my mouth, I have a little bit of a spot where I place the curved end of a hanger as I hang, button, and adjust the collars of Real Man’s work shirts while doing laundry.

Does this make me a catch?

Don’t know…however, it was while standing in the laundry room with hanger in mouth that I thought to myself, (sarcastically) “I’m a real catch” and thus the idea for this post was born.

—–

4.  I make Valentine’s Day a breeze.

I don’t like flowers.

a) I’m allergic.

2) I don’t really need something else to take care of around here.

Because I’m diabetic, I can’t have candy, and even though I’m a bad diabetic and have been known to indulge with some candy or cookies sometimes, in general, I try to be good, and Real Man is very supportive of that.

I’m not big into jewelry and if I’m going to get anything, I’d rather pick it out myself, and it will take me thirty trips to the jewelry store to pick it out, so why bother.?

So, Valentine’s Day?

No pressure.

—–

5. I write a blog.

Not only do I write a blog, but I write a blog where I say pretty much anything and everything that comes into my head.

I have a feeling that some of Real Man’s partial hearing loss may be due to the years in our marriage before I wrote the blog and he was subjected to having to listen to me spout all of (she gestures broadly with her hands) this, verbally.

He reads the blog every day, so he still hears it all, but I think it’s in a much more digestable format.

Come to think of it, both of my parents have some hearing loss as well.

The only commonality between my parents and Real Man is me.

Coincidence?

Hmmm…

 

Since I spent yesterday on the couch with NatGeoWild channel and hosting a Girl Scout meeting and trying valiantly (and failing) to resist the four boxes of Tagalongs we purchased, I didn’t actually write a post for today.

So, I’m going to let some of my friends do the talking for me.

If, like me, you are the person who winds up being tech support for your parents or other less-tech-savvy family members, you must read The Dose of Reality’s post, Damn You, Amazon.com

If, again, like me, you’ve read one too many Berenstain Bear books, you’ll love Toulouse and Tonic’s take on one of the books in her post, The Berenstain Bears and Too Much T.V.: Bitch PLEASE

If you’ve ever felt like you were supremely unqualified for jury duty, then you definitely need to check out Insane in the Mombrain’s post, This is a blog about all the reasons I am not fit to report to jury duty

I’ll be back tomorrow…promise, but luckily, these lovely ladies can, more than adequately, fill in the gap!

If you look at the right hand side of my screen, you can see that the book is now available on Amazon.  I’m asking you to wait to purchase it (look at me, assuming you want to buy my book) because we are waiting until it is available on all formats before making the push.  Makes our stats much better.

However, if you decide you want to buy anything from Amazon at anytime, I would definitely appreciate it if you bought it through the link on my blog.  Even if it takes you to the book page, you can then search for other things and I get credit for my Amazon Affiliate account.  Every bit helps.

In the meantime, we’ve been sharing each other’s blogs on our blogs so that our readers can become familiar with some of the other authors that are contributors to the book.

However, I’m running around like a crazy loon these days and I feel like I’ve been remiss in sharing my fellow blogger/author friends sites.

Lucky for me, Teri Biebel, of Snarkfest, is awesome and made a post where she listed links to ALL of our sites!

I encourage you to click here to find her post and then click on the links and check out these fabulous ladies.

They all make me laugh on a regular basis, and in the past few weeks, I feel like I’ve made 35 new friends, some of whom feel like long-lost friends that I’ve known forever.

It’s gotten to the point that I make sure that I don’t have any liquid in my mouth before logging into our group Facebook page or it will be coming out of my nose.

So, please take some time to check out these blogs.  Your time will be well-spent and will bring a smile to your face.

I’m not perfect.

Not by any stretch of the imagination.

Real Man is incredibly patient with me.  The minister even made a point of it in our wedding vows…”He is incredibly PATIENT, Amy.”

Like I’m such a trial to have to live with.

Sheesh!

However, there are some things I do that drive him up the wall.

Now, I didn’t consult him for this list, so these are simply my assumptions.

I’m sure he’ll chime in if I get something wrong, but I think, if anything, he may have some to add to the list.

‘Cuz I’m a trip.

—–

So, here are the Top 5 Things That I Do that Drive Real Man Crazy:

1.  Leave the drain catcher thingy out of the drain.

In our old house, where we lived for almost 7 years, we had a garbage disposal.

I realize we haven’t lived there in a year and a half, but I got very, very used to that garbage disposal.

So, every now and then, I forget to put the drain catcher thingy in the drain when I’m cleaning dishes in the sink.

Okay, maybe not every now and then.

Maybe a lot.

Maybe 9 times out of 10.

So, there’s always gunk jamming up the drain, which I never notice until the last minute because the sink is also always full of dishes.

(Emptying the dishwasher is Monkey Girl’s job…she’s not always on top of it.)

So, when Real Man walks to the sink, he says “Who didn’t put the drain in the sink???”

And it’s always me.

—–

2.  Leave the laundry in the dryer.

Sunday mornings usually go like this:

Real Man: I’m going to start the laundry.

Me: Oh, honey, don’t worry, I got it.

Sunday nights around 9 pm usually go like this.

Real Man:  Sweetie, where are the clean clothes?

Me:  Oh…um…still in the dryer.

Real Man:  Are they still drying?

Me:  Uh…no.

Real Man:  How long have they been sitting in the dryer?

Me:  Since 10 am.

Real Man:  Okay, see you in the morning.

And then he winds up staying up until midnight rewashing and drying the clothes.

I have good intentions.

I just get distracted.

—–

3.  Make baked mac and cheese for dinner.

Don’t get me wrong.

As I’ve explained several times, Real Man is fantastic about eating what I make and smiling his way through it and encouraging the monkeys to do the same.

That does not, however, mean that he likes it.

Particularly when I make baked macaroni and cheese.

I don’t really know anyone who doesn’t like macaroni and cheese, except Real Man.

However, the monkeys like it and it’s one meal that I make that doesn’t get any complaints from the kids.

So, he smiles and eats it.

But he doesn’t like it.

—–

4.  Play on the iPad while I’m watching television.

I’ve discussed this before, as well, but it’s worth repeating.

By the time we settle in to watch something on the telly at night, I’m pretty zonked.

So, if I want to stay awake through the show, I need to be doing something else.

Multitasking keeps me awake.

So, while we watch tv, I play Words With Friends, Candy Crush, hop on Facebook or Twitter, work on the blog, etc.

Real Man is sure this means I’m not paying attention, however, when asked, I can tell him every single thing that was said on the screen in the past five minutes, and analyze it’s importance to the show.

It drives him bananas.

—–

5.  Get upset when he doesn’t respond immediately when I text.

I’m an instant gratification kinda girl.

Yes, I grew up in the 70’s and 80’s before the days of the cell phone, On Demand television, and the internet, but I’ve become accustomed to it all very quickly.

And I. Want. It. Now.

So, when I text Real Man, it drives me bonkers when he doesn’t respond immediately.

I realize he may very possibly be in the middle of a meeting with his boss or speaking with a client or running a meeting or managing his team.

However, I just sent a text and I want a response yesterday.

Aside from the instant gratification, he’s also a very amusing texter, so sometimes I just need a little pick me up.

Example:

January 25, 2013 3:54 pm

Me:  Can you pick up a pizza on the way home?  I didn’t have time to get the pizza stuff and it was a long, weird day and I still have school work to do.

January 25, 2013 4:35 pm

Me:  Honey?

Real Man:  I’m confused…I thought you wanted pizza?

Me: Smarty pants.

Real Man:  What is it…pizza?  Honey?  Or pants?

Me:  Pizza pants?

Real Man:  What would you like on your pizza pants?

Me:  Half plain, half corduroy.  

OR

Me:  His phone is his alarm clock and it died overnight, so he’s running really late.

Real Man: Wow.

Me:  No shit.

Real Man:  Oh…he was constipated too?  Bad morning.

Cuz, that’s kinda the way we work.

So, I like hearing back from him, because you never know what you’re gonna get.

Which means, some texts go like this.

2:38 pm

Me:  Hi sweetie.  I’ll bring Monkey in the Middle to the rink at 5.  Okay?

2:39 pm

Me:  Okay?

2:40 pm

Me:  Honey?

2:41 pm

Me:  Hello?

2:42 pm

Me:  You know, there is no purpose in having a cell with a texting plan if you aren’t going to use it.

2:43 pm

Me:  Hello?

2:44 pm

Me:  Seriously?

3:00 pm

Real Man:  I’m sorry…did you need something?  I was in a meeting.

Because like the minister said, he’s extremely patient with me.

Today I’m taking a break from the funny, the kids, my life to ask you to think about helping to save the life of another.

I used to babysit for a sweet girl named Kerry O’Connor.

She and her family lived across the street from me when I was growing up and I would occasionally babysit for Kerry and her two older brothers.

Sweet girl, fun girl, nice girl, smart girl.

In her mother’s words:

After 27 years as an insulin dependent diabetic, she is suffering from one of the most life-threatening complications of the disease, hypoglycemic unawareness.  In non-medical terms, this means that the disease has progressed to the point that her body does not register the fact that her blood sugar levels are dropping.  While she has experienced other complications as well, most notably loss of vision in her left eye and severe gastroparesis (nerve damage to her digestive tract), the hypoglycemia has forced her to give up many of the things in her life that she loves.  She can no longer work as a nurse or even be left alone.  At times, just ordinary tasks, such as folding laundry, can cause her blood sugars to plummet.

Kerry needs a pancreas transplant.

Kerry has been listed as an active pancreas transplant candidate at the university of Minnesota Medical Center, one of the few places that performs “pancreas only” transplants.  In addition, it is well equipped to handle the range of Kerry’s medical complications that add to the difficulty of this surgery.  The down side to this choice is the distance and length of stay that will be required in both the pre- and post-transplant phases.  This is where your support though the raffle comes in.  While Kerry and her husband, Bill, have good medical coverage, it does not cover all of the expenses for Kerry’s immunosuppressant medications, transportation or lodging that she will need during the first post-transplant year.

So, those who love Kerry have begun to do some fundraising to help Kerry meet all of the costs that she will face during this critical time.

If you feel as though you might be able to give a small amount, please visit this website that was created by Kerry’s mother, a retired high school teacher from my alma mater.  Donations are given to HelpHOPELive, a non-profit organization that assists the transplant community.  All information can be found at the site.

As a diabetic and someone with a history with Kerry and her family, this cause is so dear to my heart.

If you can help, thank you.  Even if you can’t, send some good, strong, positive, healing thoughts Kerry’s way.

It is all appreciated.

Remember this post?

Here’s that door today:

Still there.

So, the cover is set for the book and the publication date has been pushed up to mid-March!

This is so very, very exciting!

Here is the cover:

 

Check out the awesome blogs on the back cover!  I still can’t believe that I’m associated with them.  They are so very talented!

The person who pulled us all together is Jen from “People I Want to Punch in the Throat.”

Jen and I went to junior high together and then she moved away.

We reconnected through Facebook and I’ve been thrilled to watch as her blog went viral, last year, with her post about Overachieving Moms and the Elf on the Shelf.

She wrote a book and had it published in time for the holidays this year.

Then, she came up with the idea for this anthology.

And here we are!

On another note, in the next few days, we’ll be switching to our new domain: amysreallife.com  It’s not up and running as of today, but it’s scheduled to go live on February 25th, if everything goes as scheduled.  I will not have a post on Monday in order to facilitate the switch, but I’ll be back on Tuesday and we should be set!

So, exciting times around here…good things to come!

1. What is a hobby you would love to learn and why? 

I would love to learn to play the cello.

I’ve thought about it so many times over the years.

Such a soulful instrument.  My favorite of the strings.

I would love to be able to play and play and play.

Maybe…I’m still young.

2. What do you wish you could have delivered to your house but does not deliver?

Really?

Is there still something that they won’t deliver?

I don’t think so.

I mean, I can’t call up and have someone bring me a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup right now, but I can have my groceries delivered and I can put them on the list.

Oh, I see.  I don’t want to wait until I’ve made my list.

So, I guess that would be it.

Chocolate on demand.

3. What’s your favorite snow day activity? Inside and out?

Let’s just get the “out” out of the way right now.

There’s nothing I like to do outside in the snow.

If I could have outside snow fun without being cold and wet, I’d love to go sledding.

I love speed.  Love it.

However, I hate being cold and wet, so that’s the end of that.

Inside?

I love snuggling under a blanket and reading with a hot cup of tea on a snowy day.

Monkey Girl usually gets a book, I get a book, we cover up and lay on the couch together and just read.

The boys wind up playing something next to the couch and it’s all good.

4. Would you meet a stranger from an Internet dating site?

If I wasn’t married, I’m not sure I’d even try an Internet dating site.

People lie enough straight to your face…they can lie that much more online.

That being said, I have quite a few friends who have met their spouses online and they are all very, very happy.

I’m not sure it’s for me.

But that’s not to say that it doesn’t work.
5. If you had to spend 35 hours in a car with 4 other people, who would you choose?

I’d choose 5 and they all live here.

If you mean outside the family, I’d choose Kim, Erin and Michaela.

If you are going to hold me to 4 to be true to the question, I guess we’d leave Tiny with my parents.

Not because I like him any less, but because I think the car would get old for him way earlier than 35 hours.