My Real Life

1. What is one thing you have too many of in your house?

Toys.

We still have toys from when Monkey Girl was Tiny’s age.

The kids don’t even play with 3/4 of the toys in this house, but there is a magical thing that happens when I even think about donating a toy.

I can find a toy in the back of a closet and not even verbalize my intention to get rid of it.

A day later, one of them will say “Hey…have you seen my X toy?  I really want to play with it.”

This summer, though, I plan on doing a major purge.

Major purge.

2. Did anything go not quite as planned on your wedding day?

It rained.

Hard.

We had scheduled pictures at the Frelingbuysen Arboretum, which is a beautiful outside location, but it was not to be.

So, they took us to a local hotel that had some pretty features for the background.

Nice.

However, it took so long that we completely missed the cocktail hour which we had painstakingly planned with all of our favorite foods.

Disappointing.

We were starving, but at the end of the day, it didn’t matter.

Best. Wedding. Ever.

3. What is your favorite summer smoothie recipe?

I’m not a smoothie girl.

Monkey Girl has been making them for the boys, though, and she’s been using low-fat, plain yogurt, frozen mixed berries and bananas.

At the rate they are being consumed, I’d say they are a hit!

4. What is the weather like where you are?

Hot.

I got into my car after work yesterday at 3:30 and the thermometer registered 102.

It’s supposed to be hotter today.

5. What is your favorite book to read to your kids?

There are two.

One is “A Fly Went By.”

The kids love the repetition in that book and the big kids will still sit and listen to that one.

Also, “Bert and the Missing Mop Mix-Up.”

Lots of misunderstandings which make the kids shake their heads and laugh.

My favorite book to read with Monkey Girl, when she was littler, was “Big Susan.”

About a doll house that comes to life on Christmas Eve, which, if you know me, you might think would be along the lines of a Stephen King novel for me, given my deep-seated fear of dolls, but it’s a beautiful story.

My kids are dying for a pet.

We aren’t getting a pet.

I don’t even keep houseplants because with four kids in the house, I don’t feel like I really need something else to feed and take care of.

The only pet I really actually want is a dog, but Real Man has put the kibosh on that one because he remembers the six years we had our old dog and the late night and winter walks that were always delegated to him.

So, (for now), no pets.

However, one of my kids favorite times of year is when their cousins go on vacation and we get to take care of their pets.

For almost two weeks, my kids get to pretend like they have a hermit crab and a hamster.

And they love it.

They take their cousins handwritten notes very seriously.

At night, they spray the hermit crab, rewet his sponge and make sure everything is in order.

And the hamster?

Forget it.

Tiny is obsessed with the poor thing.

Even if he wasn’t already, I think Tiny would turn him into a nocturnal animal by yelling “Hi Nibbles!  Hi! What you doin’, Nibbles? You runnin’ in your wheel?  You eatin’, Nibbles?  Hi Nibbles!” at the highest possible decibel, right outside his cage.

(You’ll notice you can’t see Nibbles in this picture.  I believe it’s because he’s hiding from Tiny.)

However, even with the hamster, the kids are super responsible.

Making sure he seems happy and comfortable, switching out the wheel for his climbing house so he doesn’t get bored.

I said at the beginning of this post that we aren’t getting a pet, however, if I’m honest, I think pets are a great way to teach responsibility and empathy in children, and every time we watch our cousins pets, I’m reminded of this and impressed with how well the monkeys do.

It’s hard to know, however, if it’s the novelty of the pet and if once that wore off it would be Mommy who was feeding and cleaning and caring for the pet(s) to keep them alive and healthy.

Because, let’s be honest.  Eventually, our cousins came home and we gave the pets back and really, anyone can be responsible for two weeks.  It’s the long haul that is the concern.

I don’t know.  It’s something to consider, for sure.

I’d love to have those of you with children and pets chime in, here.  Worth it?  Do the kids step up, or does it all fall to Mom?

There’s something about living in the town where you grew up.

I can’t deny that I have always had a bit of a yen to live elsewhere, but at the end of the day, I know we’re here for good.

And that’s okay, because there is a definite awesomeness to pulling out of a parking space at a store and having your sister-in-law pull in.

Something cool about leaving a note on your Dad’s car when you see it in a spot near the library where you and the kids decided to go on a whim.

Something cool about working in the schools you went to as a child.

I’ve written before about how I teach in the middle school where I went, and there are a million memories there.

This week, I had to do some things over at the school where I went to 4th-6th grade.

It was another trip down memory lane.

Erin and I used to play outside at recess and we called that spot in the field our “patch.”

I can’t believe it’s still there.

I ran right into the corner of the building right here and split my chin open.

My desk was in the back row in this classroom, in 4th grade, and I used to open the window when the teacher wasn’t looking (they have since replaced the original 1932 windows we had) and it used to drive her crazy.

Sean Hennessey pulled my hoop earring right through my ear in exactly this spot on the blacktop behind the school during recess.

Memory lane.

Just cool to be able to do these things.

I never tire of saying “Hey guys…that’s where me and Daddy met!  Look!  That’s the house Mommy grew up in!”

They certainly tire of hearing it.

There is much to be lauded about the area in which we live, but this…familiarity…it’s definitely a reason why we stay.

Pay attention, friends, because this never happens and is likely to never happen again.

Today I’m talking about clothes.

I have never had much of a sense of style, and am definitely not known for my fashion sense.

If anything, friends are usually whispering “You know that doesn’t really go together, right?”

Which, usually, I didn’t know.

I do know a few things, however.

Like, what might be appropriate to wear in public and what would not be.

For example, this weekend, I needed a new dress, so I went shopping.

I hate shopping.

I never find anything I like and it takes forever and I don’t like parting with money.

But, I had driven past this little boutique, in town, and saw something through the window that might match what I was looking for, so after a quick trip to the library, I walked over.

I was right.  It was exactly what I was looking for, it fit, and was the right price.

I knew I had a pair of leggings at home that I would pair it with and I’d be raring to go.

As the 20-something year old behind the counter rang me up, she said, “Ooh, and since it’s summer and you’ve got a bit of a tan, you don’t even need to wear stockings!  You can just slip it on and wear it with bare legs!”

Huh?

Let me show you the dress:

I should explain that the part directly above the see-through fringe is also see-through with holes in the fabric.

NOT WEAR LEGGINGS???

Maybe if I was 3 feet tall and this was a floor length dress!

So, because of the fact that I know nothing about fashion, except for the fact that you really should keep your lady bits covered, and covered well, I’ve always thought that I needed a personal shopper.

But, who has the money for that?

Turns out, I do.

Okay, not the money for a personal shopper, but Kim told me about a website that acts like a personal shopper for you.

It’s called stitchfix.com

(Just a note, this is not an ad for stitchfix.  I’m getting nothing out of sharing this info with you…I just thought it was pretty awesome!)

I went to stitchfix.com, answered a bunch of questions about my style, my needs, my size, my clothing preferences and then scheduled a “fix.”

On Saturday, a box arrived at my house with five items inside.

A wrap-around dress, a silk tank top, a peasant blouse, a cardigan, and a silver necklace.

I tried them all on, looked at the prices and decided to keep the dress and the peasant blouse.

Everything else was wrapped up and put in the postage-paid return envelope, I went to the website, told them what I was keeping and why and what I was sending back and why and paid my bill.

I don’t know how often I’ll do this, as there is a $20 styling fee (which was waived since this was my first order) but I hate clothes shopping enough that it might be worth it in the future.  I know people who pay $10-$20 to have their groceries ordered and/or delivered because they hate grocery shopping so much.  Seems the same to me.

The things they sent me ranged from moderately priced to pricier than I was willing to spend, but it wasn’t a problem because I didn’t have to keep a thing I didn’t want.  I could have sent the entire order back, no harm, no foul.

So, this worked for me.  A stylist read my answers, figured out what I’d like and what I needed, and I never had to leave the house.

If you, too, would like to try it out, I’d love if you could use my referral link.  http://stitchfix.com/sign_up?referrer_id=3127775

It could be worth it if you hate shopping, like I do, or could use a little style help, like I do, or just want to give it a try! 🙂

1. Would you rather pay for house cleaner or spa day?

I would absolutely rather pay for a house cleaner than a spa day.

Coming home and having my house clean and not having to have been the one to clean it?

Like a mini-spa all on it’s own.

2. Who plans what gifts you get for holidays, you or your spouse?

Real Man does an excellent job of listening, all year long, to every single thing that I say.

Then, when the holidays roll around, I always get surprised with things that I said I needed/wanted throughout the year and don’t even remember anymore.

It’s kinda awesome.

That being said, if there is something that I want around the holidays, I’m sure to get that, as well.

Cuz he’s also good like that.

3. How many hours of sleep do you get? Do you need more?

I get about 8 hours of sleep a night.

I may need more, but I’m not about to get it.

I go to bed around 9 and am usually asleep by 10 and am up a little before 6, no matter what day of the week it is, also no matter if anyone else is up or not.

It seems to work for me.

4. Do you like your hair long or short?

I like it long.

It’s so much easier to throw in a ponytail, and I’m a wash-n-go girl.

When I got it cut so short back in the fall, suddenly I had to do stuff with it and I don’t enjoy doing my hair one little bit.

So, I’ve been growing it as quickly as I can.

Which is not quick enough for me.

That being said, almost everyone I know has said that they liked it better when it was short.

5. When was the last time you were pulled over and what was it for?

Wow…I don’t remember.

When I was in college, I would have been able to tell you exactly when the last time I had been pulled over because it was a frequent occurrence.

I went to college in Ohio and made an 8 hour trip into a 6 one every time I drove out and home.

But, now I’m all responsible and whatnot, so I drive carefully.

I also always have my kids in the car with me, and i definitely don’t take chances with the monkeys.

So, I think the last time I was pulled over was a few years ago.

I was coming down a busy, local street.

I pulled into the left turn lane a few feet before the arrow part of the lane, crossing the yellow stripey zone, and a cop pulled me right over.

He told me that the stripey zone was for pedestrians, and I have to tell you, I don’t think that’s correct, based on where the crosswalk is and where the stripey zone is, but who am I to argue with a cop.

On an unrelated note to Five Question Friday, last night, I was utterly zonked and went to bed early.

I am the television planner in our house, but I was fast asleep by 8:00.

And apparently, we missed the best movie EVER.

Real Man and I have a “thing” for terrible SyFy movies.

The ridiculous ones.

And last night, we missed Sharknado.

A tornado full of sharks, my friends.

A tornado full of sharks.

Can you even imagine anything more amazing to watch?

I’m not sure I can.

Apparently, everyone, even Mia Farrow, was watching and Tweeting about it.

And we missed it.

Missed it.

Shameful.

Once there was a boy

Who met a girl

They got married and had a baby girl

And then a baby boy

And then another baby boy

And then another baby boy

The End.

Okay, I’m exaggerating.

Vacation wasn’t bad.

But, it didn’t quite turn out the way I had expected.

The skies eventually cleared and we were left with a beautiful few days at the beach.

Tiny proved to be a total beach bum and loved the sand and the water and the whole beach experience, but he’s also a little man who knows his limits.

“I all done beach, Mom” was all he had to say, and I packed him up and we headed back to the house.

Real Man stayed at the beach with Monkey Girl and Monkey in the Middle (because Baby Monkey wanted to be with me and if I was leaving, he was leaving) for many more hours, and Tiny, Baby and I would head back to the beach house.

I have a “no t.v. at the beach” rule (unless it’s a long, rainy day) so in getting back to the house, after showers, there were numerous games of “Guess Who,” making our own games, and because Baby Monkey travels nowhere without craft stuff, coloring and things to be created.

(flag courtesy of local library craft room…more about that later)

However, Tuesday, Monkey Girl forgot to reapply her sunblock, and her shoulders got quite a burn.

By Wednesday morning, they looked like this:

So, she stayed back at the beach house on Wednesday and she hung by herself until Tiny was “all done beach” for the day.

Thursday morning, Tiny woke me with calls around 7 am, which was new because he had been sleeping until 8:30 most days (which was fantastic!).

When I walked into his room, I was assaulted with the smell of old vomit, and I saw dried puke on his face and clothes.

Which terrified me, because, he clearly threw up in his sleep.

So, I got him out, stripped the crib, stripped him, cleaned him up and headed upstairs.

Monkey Girl came in and showed me that her shoulder was absolutely no better.

So, we waited until we were pretty sure that Tiny was done throwing up (my verdict is that last nights pizza was not agreeable with his system, because I’m typing this eight hours after he woke up and after throwing up mucous twice more before 9 am, he’s perfectly fine) we headed to the local Medical Center.

The verdict was that it was sun poisoning.  They gave her an antibiotic cream and told her to stay out of the sun for awhile, to take Ibuprofen for the low grade fever and swelling, and lay low.

So, my beach bunny who could spend all day (and night) on the beach, was banished to the beach house.

Not quite what she had planned, but she made the best of it.

Hung out with her cousins, read a book, did some writing, and was great about not complaining, even though she could have complained all she wanted and I wouldn’t have even blinked an eye, because she would have earned it.

So, I missed the beach for two days, as well, but I was happy to hang with my babies.

When they kids were doing their own thing, I was able to catch up on my own reading, do some writing for the blog, and do some laundry, which I actually like doing while on vacation because it’s less I have to do when I get home.

So, it definitely sounds like a vacation gone bad, but maybe I should have just said a vacation gone awry.

You gotta make the best of what you get, and things could always have been a lot worse.

Now if you’ll excuse me, Baby just told me it’s time for me to be fitted for my construction paper bathing suit.

So, as wonderful as it was to get to the beach with the family last week, the fact remained that the forecast for the week was grim.

Thunderstorms and rain were predicted for the entire week.

On Sunday, our first full day, the monkeys and I woke up early and ate breakfast.

By 7:30, they had already begun the “When are we going to the beach” routine, but I wasn’t quite there yet.

So, I persuaded them to go on my usual beach week morning walk with me.

It was a good walk.

Around 9:30, we couldn’t hold them off any longer, so under gray skies, we put on our suits, sunblocked up and hit the beach.

Monkey in the Middle and I immediately began our yearly paddle ball tournament.

Tiny and Baby Monkey immediately began digging in the sand.

Monkey Girl immediately began getting in the freezing water.

It was good.

And then it started to sprinkle.

But, everyone was so occupied, that they didn’t quite seem to notice the rain.

Yet.

Even when it started to rain in earnest, they kept going.

Monkey in the Middle and I said that THIS would be our moment.

That it would be like a movie, and in the rain we would make it to our highest number of paddleball volleys yet, despite the odds.

(We didn’t.)

Baby Monkey said that the rain would fill the hole that he and Tiny were digging so they could have their own pool.

(It didn’t.)

But it was fun.

We finally called it and headed back to the beach house, but after some lunch, the skies cleared and back down we went, this time joined by the rest of the extended family, so there were many more holes to dig, waves to catch, and games to be played.

We believe in a full beach day, so while Tiny called it at 5 (“I all done beach, Mama”) and I brought him back, Real Man and the big monkeys didn’t come back until closer to 6:30.

As I write this, it is 6:45 a.m. Monday July 1st, and I’m sitting on the deck of the beach house, and I can’t see the water through the fog, and the wind has almost blown my laptop off of my lap twice.

Yep…another great beach day.

It was a good week.

It was full of new discoveries, reconnecting, chaos, relaxation and general fun.

And, as I sat on the beach, watching the fireworks on July 4th, Tiny in my lap, surrounded by almost all of the 43 family members with whom we spent the week, I realized that I wouldn’t have it any other way.

(Me and one of my awesome nephews, Justin)

(In the amazing children’s room at the beach library…we have a thing with hitting every library in every town we visit…this one was top notch!)

(The beautiful home in which we stayed)

…they didn’t actually wait until I finally sat down before asking for a glass of milk…it’s just when they remembered they were thirsty

…they didn’t mean to smush them into the carpet…blueberries are roly-poly little buggers, hard for little fingers to hold, easy for little feet to step on while trying to pick them up

…even at 41, I get cranky when I’m tired, too

…they inherited that flash temper from someone and it wasn’t Real Man

…I don’t like everything I make for dinner, either

Last night was rough and I just need to remind myself that I’m the adult, sometimes, and that long days at the beach make for tired, grumpy kids around dinner time.  We yelled, we talked, we got through it, we moved on.

But I hate when we fight, even though I know it’s perfectly normal.  It just makes me sad because I remember being at the kid end of being yelled at and it never felt good.

So, I make my list of reminders and hope that next time I can reflect a little before jumping into the yelling.  Cuz that’s no fun for anyone.