My Real Life

October 23, 2009

Contest #2

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 6:51 am
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So, I’m still kinda down for the count, and have been encouraging the monkeys to play far away from me, so I haven’t taken many pictures and don’t have many stories to share today.

Not wanting to let my loyal readers down, however, I decided that it was time to run another contest!

This time, we’re not naming a photo…we are writing definitions for some words.

As much as I enjoy writing this blog, I also enjoy reading the blogs of others.  You can go through my blogroll to see what I enjoy.  I love blogs about life in the country, about creativity, from quirky people, and about people doing things I wish I could do, but just don’t know how quite yet.

I try to comment when something they’ve written touches me, because I know how much the feedback I get here means to me. 

As I make my comments, I’ve found a funny thing.  Used to be that when you would comment on a blog, in order to make sure you weren’t spamming the site with a computer program, they would make you type in a combination of letters and numbers.  You know, like “eom54LY8.”  You’d have to type it in before your comment would post.

Well, these days, most of the blogs that I read have a bit of a different take.  You have to type in some nonsense word that they show you.  I can’t help but wonder, who made up these words and phrases?  Some of them sound like real words.  They aren’t.  I’ve checked. 

There’s nothing I like more than making up definitions for words.  People will say, “What does this mean?” and I’ll say, (with authority), “It’s a word that means the sound of the rocks crumbling and falling into the canyon below as you stop yourself from almost stepping off a cliff.”  And they say, “There’s a word for that?  Wow!”  And I say, “I know…I know” and bask in my psuedo-intelligence for yet another moment.

However, I don’t want to have ALL the fun, so, I thought I’d pick three and ask you to define them.  Rather than choose which one I think is the most creative (because how can you define creativity?) I will choose randomly.  I don’t have a snazzy computer program to do that for me, but I do have the ability to choose through the age old method of writing the comment numbers on a slip of paper, folding the paper, tossing them in a hat and then, voila!  We have a winner.

The winner of this contest will get a $10 Walmart gift card.  The holidays are coming…could be a great teacher gift or a way to knock off a few bucks from a holiday gift you’ll be buying for someone else.

Contest will run until Sunday evening, 8 pm, so that all of my weekend-only blog readers have a chance to participate.

So, please, participate!  I’d love to see what you’ll come up with!

Here are our nonsense words: (Just like a vocabulary test, please make sure you write the word and then the definition, in your comment, so I know what definition goes with what word)

Brink 44 ¼

Pilopse

Unmatin

Oh, and here’s a little something to inspire you:

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Couldn’t resist.

October 22, 2009

Wrong Turn

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 6:57 am
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I had two comments to my post about my quest for the scariest movie I’ve ever seen that I wanted to talk about with you, today.

The first is from Jen, who is a friend I graduated from high school with.  Jen says:

Amy, you and I are in the saaaaaaaaaame boat! I am looking for a scary movie, not a gory movie. I was so excited to go see Paranormal Activity, I actually almost chickened out! I left there saying to my cousin, “I have seen scarier spiders on Ghost Hunters!”

As for going to Salem, something I have been wanting to do for a long time. As for haunted houses………come visit me sometime. I have stories of things constantly happening here……..just two days ago in fact was my last encounter. Now I am not scared of whatever is in my house, but after this last “episode” I have been sleeping with the TV on all night….no joke. JCP&L is going to make me it’s #1 customer for the month of October.

Now Ghost Hunters is my favorite show, I never miss an episode, I even DVR them so my kids can watch. I go on Ghost Walks or visit haunted restaurants, etc. I even subscribe to Weird NJ and love reading all the freaky stuff that happens around our wonderful, weird state.

You find that movie, you let me know!!!

First of all, I hope Jen realizes that now I must go spend some nighttime hours at her house.  The lure of a real haunted house is almost too great for me to ignore. 

Secondly, I’d encourage Jen to stay away from those scary movies for a few weeks, as she is basically nine months pregnant and ready to drop that baby any time.  A good scare might push her right over the edge.  A good laugh might, also, as I recall that Family Guy put me in labor with Baby Monkey, but that’s a story for another time.  Unless, of course, she’s feeling ready to meet that little guy, and if that’s the case, then you people need to recommend some more scary movies to help her out!

The second comment I’d like to share with you was written by my Dad.  My Dad said:

I am casting my vote for the Eliza Dushku movie, the name of which escapes me now. Amy, please help me with the title and help me explain why this movie was so freakin scary. I never have watched the end of it, and probably never will, at least alone!

The movie to which he refers is Wrong Turn. 

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Wrong Turn is a formulaic horror flick.  You know who will be the first friend to die, and who will survive the moment anyone on screen opens their mouth.  The plot is that Eliza Dushku and her buddies take a “wrong turn” in West Virginia and wind up being hunted by these inbred scary crazy people.

The second thing I need to comment on is that my Dad used the word “freakin” in his response.  Tee-hee.  My Daddy said “Freakin.”  That makes me giggle.

This movie scared the bejesus out of my Dad, and I’ll admit, it was not the most comfortable flick I’ve ever seen either.  Your first clue to how scary it is lies in the fact that it is quite possible that my Dad is the world’s biggest Eliza Dushku fan alive.  That he turned off a Dushku movie is big news.

He’s asked me to explain why this movie was so “freakin” 🙂 scary to him, so I will.

My Dad grew up in a small town, in rural Ohio, just about on the banks of Lake Erie.  There was this park, Lake Shore Park, where you could swim in the lake, play on the equipment, go for walks, etc.  My Dad worked at the snack bar in the park in the summers.

Well, apparently there were frequent visitors to Lake Shore Park from West Virginia.  Now, let me take a moment and say that I cast no aspersions on people from West Viriginia.  Kim C-S, if you are reading this, I’m so not talking about you.   These are just my father’s experiences and I’m reporting them as they were reported to me.

Anyway, these visitors would always seem to come when my Dad was manning the snack bar alone.  They were, as he described them, off.  They didn’t look quite as bad as the inbred crazies who were killing people in Wrong Turn, but there was definitely something up and they scared him to pieces.  Poor teenager, all alone at the snack bar, and in would roll the beat up trucks, and out would pour the cast of Wrong Turn.

Apparently, watching the film reminded him of this discomfort so much that he actually couldn’t watch the film any longer.

I think that’s what makes a film so scary to one and not so scary to another.  Our views on what is and is not possible.  In my mind, there’s no way Wrong Turn would ever really happen, so while it was icky, it wasn’t terrifying.  My Dad had already experienced a piece of it, so it was horrifying.

Not to say that I’ve ever seen a girl climb out of a well and through a tv and that’s why I was so scared of The Ring, but I have watched a video tape.  Okay, that’s weak.  That one was just plain scary whether you’ve experienced it or not.

I’m still questing for a good scare, friends, so if anyone has any further suggestions, I’m open!

October 21, 2009

Scholastic

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 6:25 am
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In general, I am a strong woman.

I am able to resist many temptations (Turkey Hill Peanut Butter Ice Cream aside).

However, every few months, something comes across the threshold of my home that I am utterly unable to resist. It has total and complete power over me, and it is able to make me do something that I am not usually willing to do.

Part with my money.

What is this demonic presence, you might ask?

If you are a parent of a school-age child, you may already know. Perhaps, you, too, are prey to this predator.

The Scholastic Book Order brochures.

Scholastic 

Even if you don’t have children, do you remember these? They’d come home every few months, and I would thumb through them, making lists of the books that I wanted. How could I pick just one? They all called to me, “Pick me, Amy! Pick me!”

Well, as a parent, those book orders still call to me. “Monkey in the Middle would love this one!” or “Monkey Girl would drool over that one!”  Plus the fact that the teacher gets free books for the classroom based on how many books are ordered from his/her class.  Who can argue free books for a school?

Who am I to ignore the call? Particularly when my children seem to have been genetically programmed to do the exact same thing that I did when I was a child. They choose a brightly colored marker and go through and circle all of the books that they want. Then, they casually leave the order booklet somewhere I am sure to see it. On the counter, on my pillow, in the bathroom.

However, they don’t just sell books, anymore. Now they have a companion catalogue that comes home with the book brochure. It’s called “Click!” and it is full of games for the computer or gaming systems or handheld game systems.

My Dad happened to be the grandparent who was here the day Monkey in the Middle got off the bus with the latest edition of the “Click!” brochure. Monkey Girl was soon to follow, and he actually encouraged them to circle. So, they did.

The Scholastic order came today. I had asked Monkey in the Middle’s teacher to shoot me an e-mail when the order came in so I could pick it up, because my Dad wanted to surprise them with what he bought, and there was no way Monkey in the Middle wouldn’t be looking in that bag if they put it in his backpack.

I picked it up and brought it home. He gave one thing to each of the big kids, and then will give the rest to them for Christmas and Birthdays. Apparently, my Dad suffers from the same compulsion I do when it comes to the Scholastic order. I won’t tell you how much he spent, but I will say that it was in the triple digits.

However, Monkey in the Middle has been playing his new John Deere tractor PC game all afternoon, and Monkey Girl is learning the challenges of motherhood as she plays her new “Babysitting” Nintendo DS game. Ah, Grandparents…they were made for spoiling children.

Of course, we also now have seven new Halloween books sitting on the coffee table, but I have no idea how those got there.

Oh good Lord…next month will be the Thanksgiving books brochure. Give me strength!

October 20, 2009

Dichotomy

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 6:04 am
Tags: , ,

I love this picture. 

dichotomy 002

I love this picture for two reasons.

1)      It is a picture of Monkey in the Middle and I love that kid.

2)      It shows the dichotomy that is Monkey in the Middle, and it reminds me that you can’t put people in a neat little box and label them. 

Look again.

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Here he is.  A five-year old boy.

On the one hand, he is setting up the board after beating one of his grandpas at chess this morning.  He loves chess.  He just loves this game. 

My Dad will tell me that Monkey in the Middle sees moves way before they are made and when he gets my Dad in check he’ll say things like “Didn’t you see that Bishop, Grandpa?”  To which my chagrined father responds, “No, little guy.  I guess I didn’t.”

Because, my Dad plays to win.  As do I.  We aren’t proponents of letting kids win to build their self-esteem.  It’s false esteem at that point.  Let’s be clear, we also aren’t yelling “In your face!” if we win.  We make all kinds of suggestions and help guide them to improve their game play.  The result?  A five year old who beat his seventy five year old Grandpa at chess on Monday morning.

But, I digress.  My point is that this is an intellectual little guy who plays a mean game of chess, which is a pretty intellectual game.  He’s a smart kid.

Now, look again.

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Right next to that chess board is his football.  He’s set down his one love to play his other.  As soon as the game was over, the football was right back in his hand and he was running around the house, tossing it and chasing it, yelling “Touchdown!” and “Mom!  Watch this play!” as he threw himself after the ball, rolling as he caught it and holding it up in the air.  Let’s face it; he’s a jock.

So, who is he? 

The smart kid?

The jock?

He’s both.  He’s neither.   He’s Monkey in the Middle, and there are many sides to him, as there are to everyone.  Maybe dichotomy is the wrong word here, because we all have way more than two sides to us.  Isn’t it great?

So, again, call it what you will: not judging a book by its cover, don’t label people, you don’t know someone until you’ve walked a day in their shoes, etc.  Just watch yourself and be sure not to fall into those traps.

Because if you do, you could be missing out on some very interesting people.

October 18, 2009

Sick

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 7:28 am
Tags: , , , ,

I am sick. Sick, sick, sick. Sick to the point of not wanting to lift my head off the pillow.

It’s a cold that has been fermenting all week, and has finally exploded. I saw the doctor yesterday and she told me to lay low and come back Wednesday.

I tell you this story not to garner sympathy, but to explain my lack of a fascinating post today. I’ve spoiled you with my fascinating life and today, I got nothing.

Okay, maybe I’ve got a little something.

I don’t know about you, but when I’m sick, I don’t want to eat. I can’t breathe through my nose, so it’s hard to eat, so I’d just rather not. Instead, I dream about what I’ll eat when I feel better.

And right now, what I’m focusing on is a Friendly’s Reeses Pieces Sundae.

Not the two scooper that they give you with your dinner.

reeses

(This is a picture of the Reeses Peanut Butter Cup sundae…not the Reeses Pieces, but it’s the same idea, except take out the Peanut Butter cup and add Reeses Pieces)

I mean the huge, honkin’ six scooper. Those of you who live in an area with a Friendly’s know what I’m talking about. Those of you who don’t, let me share.

Six scoops of ice cream…three of vanilla and three of chocolate smothered in hot peanut butter sauce, hot fudge, whipped cream, Reeses Pieces and a cherry on top. It is to die for. Seriously. To die for.  It’s so dangerous, I can’t even find a picture of it online.

Sounds enormous, but you can ask Real Man or my friend, Kim, I laugh in the face of a six scoop ice cream sundae.  I’ve eaten plenty in my day.  Not in the past few years, but I think I could totally put my game face on and do some damage.

They used to make a tiny version “to-go.”

reeses2

However, they don’t seem to make it anymore. Grrr…

Because, really, as icky as I feel, I might have just put on my puppy dog face and seen if I could convince Real Man to run out and pick one up for me.

Oh, and so you don’t feel cheated by not having any “Monkey-talk” today, I thought I’d share a picture with you.

We ran over to my parents house yesterday, as my Dad’s tv has broken and he wanted Real Man to take a look at it.

While there, I lounged on the couch and Baby Monkey wandered in to see what was up. We all (except for Real Man) got our flu shots this morning (not why I’m sick…I was sick way before, so let’s not get into a flu shot debate, here), and Baby Monkey always gets knocked for a bit of a loop the day he gets a shot. So, he crawled up on my lap and fell fast asleep.

So, you can see that Baby Monkey shares Monkey in the Middle’s penchant for falling asleep anytime, anywhere.

mattsleep

And so, I hope you’ve enjoyed your Monkey Fix for the day.

As for me, I’m going back to bed.

October 17, 2009

Mr. Football

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 9:42 am
Tags:

I’m not sure when this happened, but Monkey in the Middle has become Mr. Football.  If he’s home, he has a football in his hand 24-7.  He never puts it down.  He even sets it on the floor next to his chair during dinner.

He wants to toss the football with anyone who is available, and if no one is available, he throws it and chases it himself.

He’s pretty good, actually.  I take no credit for that.  As the monkeys grow, any athletic ability they may display in no way, shape or form comes from me.  Athletic, I am not.

Again, I’m not so great with the action setting on Real Man’s camera, (been researching my own camera), but here are some shots of Monkey in the Middle tossing the pigskin (I may not be athletic, but I’ve got the lingo down) with Real Man this morning.

Football 005

This one I love.  He almost caught it, but it sorta got away.

Football 004

He’s got his eye on the ball!

Football 009

And he caught it!

Football 008

I guess this is really exciting stuff if you’re a guy or a Monkey Boy.  Tossing a ball back and forth gets real boring real fast for me.

While all this male bonding was going on this morning, Monkey in the Middle was sitting on the couch and drawing bugs.

Football 014

Now, that’s more my speed.

October 16, 2009

Under Attack

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 7:07 am
Tags: , , ,

I’m going to start this post with a disclaimer.  I write some of my blogs ahead of time, and this is one of those blogs.  Those of you who live in my area were all shocked and dismayed to find snow falling from the sky yesterday.  A good amount of snow.

Some have even asked if today’s blog will be about the snow.  To that, I say no.

I am ignoring the snow from yesterday.  I don’t believe in snow in October.  It didn’t happen, as far as I am concerned.

And so, I continue with my autumn blogging.

 

You may think that living in the suburbs allows a certain amount of safety from the dangers of the world.

You may think that fall in the suburbs is just beautiful colors and raking leaves.

And part of that is true.

Here are some pictures of our yard.  It’s still early fall and everything hasn’t really changed as much as it will in a few weeks.

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Looks peaceful.  Looks like it will be a heck of a job to rake.  However, looks relatively safe.  Yes?

NO!!!

In the fall, we are constantly under attack.  We have to run from the front door to the car.  When the kids play outside, they need to wear helmets, because you never know when the missles will be flying.

What are these missles of which I speak?

Acorns.

I swept my deck the morning I took these next two photos.  I took these photos at 1:30 pm.

MOREFALL 006

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It would be one thing if the acorns were just gently falling from the trees, but I am convinced that the squirrels and chipmunks are actually sitting in the trees, taking their aim and hurling them at us. 

My van has little dents in the roof and hood from being pelted from the acorns.

Monkey Girl was actually awoken the other night by a particularly loud load of acorns being thrust out of the trees at the house.

Look at the lawn!

MOREFALL 019

I don’t actually make them wear helmets, but we’ve all been hit in the head with the acorns and let me tell you, it’s not fun.

So, sure…come and visit us in the suburbs…but be careful.

You may be taking your life into your own hands.

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October 15, 2009

My Quest

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 6:31 am
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My adult life has been one long quest.  I am searching for something that is elusive.  Something that I’m not sure I’ll ever find.  Something that I long for.  Something that I need to continue on in this life.

I am on the quest for the scariest movie ever.

I want to see a movie that scares me so much I am actually up at night, afraid to fall asleep.

Yes, that sounds strange and sick, but the truth is, I love to be scared.  I love haunted houses.  Before Baby Monkey started having the seizures, Real Man and I had booked a trip to Salem for our anniversary weekend.  I wanted to stay in one of the haunted inns they have.  I love scary things.

However, I am consistently disappointed.  Sure, some movies are scary, but not scary enough.

As a child, I fell in love with scary movies.  Poltergeist created my fear of clowns.  The original Halloween is, by far, the most suspenseful film I’ve ever seen and I still yell at the screen “Laurie!  He’s sitting up in the closet!  Turn around!  He’s alive!  He’s alive!”

When Real Man and I started dating, we were told that the scariest movie ever made was this movie called “The Last House on the Left.”  Guess what?  It wasn’t.  It wasn’t even a little scary.

Let me clarify…when I say scary, I don’t mean gory.  Gore isn’t scary.  It’s just fake blood and stuff.  That doesn’t scare me, nor does it particularly gross me out.  Gratuitous violence isn’t scary either.  Scary is suspense.  It’s things that could possibly happen.  It’s supernatural.  It’s…scary.

As an adult, there have been a few that have gotten close.  “White Noise” scared the bejesus out of me.  It wasn’t a particularly scary film, but the whole idea of the dead speaking through static…creepy.  And, maybe possible.  That’s what creeped me out.

However, “The Ring” was the closest I’ve ever gotten.  Seriously.  She climbed out of the well and then through the television screen?  That long black hair in her face.  Seriously scared me.  Lights on that night and for the next few nights after that.

I thought that I might have finally found it, tonight.  The movie “Paranormal Activity” has been touted as the scariest film of all time.  There were reports that people were leaving in the middle because they were so scared.  I think they were leaving because they were so bored.  It stunk.

So, tis the season to be scared out of your wits and I’m sitting here quite disappointed.  So, I’m asking you to share with me the scariest movies you know.  I’ve got Netflix.  I’ll rent them all.  But I need you to share the titles with me.

Please…help a girl out!

October 14, 2009

Ick

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 7:16 am
Tags: , , , ,

I have to take a break from our regularly scheduled programming today to share something with you that I found absolutely hysterical but SO disturbing last night.

Do you remember the opening scenes of The Empire Strikes Back, when Han Solo and Luke were on the ice planet Hoth.  Luke had passed out or was frozen or something and Han was trying to get them to the rebel base?  Then, their big animal, the Tauntaun, freezes and dies as well?

What does Han do?  He slices open the animal and shoves Luke and himself inside to keep warm.

I can still remember the sound it made as the tauntaun’s guts spilled out on to the frozen tundra, and even though it was a movie, I was always sure I could smell it…particularly because Han even mentioned how bad it smelled.

Well, last night on Facebook, a friend of mine shared this link:

http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/plush/bb2e/

tauntaun-sleepingbag

Ew!!!

It is a Taunton sleeping bag so that your child, too, can sleep inside this large animal from the ice planet of Hoth.  Look closely…they’ve even drawn intestines on the inside.

This is absolutely hysterical and yet so disturbing to me on a fundamental level.  My kid sleeping inside an animal, snuggling into the intestines?  Ick.

Great marketing.  Very creative.  Very gross. )

October 13, 2009

I Love Football

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 6:54 am
Tags: ,

I think anyone who has been reading the blog this month understands how much I love fall.  However, I have failed to mention another reason I love fall.

Football season.

There is just something about fall and football season that make me feel all warm and snuggly inside.

Maybe it’s the memories of going to games with my Dad when I was a kid.  Having no sons, my Dad took me to different games all season long. 

We saw college games, pro games.  It didn’t matter.  If he could get tickets, we’d go.

I love the game of football.  I don’t really care who is playing…I just like watching a good game.  I cheer for everyone and get excited over good plays, despite who makes them.

Real Man is a Giants fan, so we catch the Giants game every week.

That, in and of itself, is a warm snuggly, homey experience.

Because, we always watch in the basement, with some yummy football snacks, which bring out the kids.

Monkey in the Middle always pulls out his Nerf football and tosses it with Real Man during the whole game.  Luckily, we have a dvr so that Real Man can go back and watch everything he misses from Monkey heads getting in front of the screen.

This week, we watched with tortilla chips, hot melted cheese, and pretzels.

MOREFALL 018

I just love football.

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