…or Father’s Day,as those of us who aren’t Monkey in the Middle call it.
May all the Dads, Dads-to-Be, Grandpas, and Father Figures have a wonderful day, and may you find three little monkeys of your own to detail your car.
June 20, 2010
June 19, 2010
Sssshhh…
…I have a secret.
I just took a shower.
Okay, the shower itself is not a secret.
I bathe.
Seriously.
I do.
However, after getting off the treadmill, I took a 30 minute shower.
Yeah, yeah, water conservation, etc.
I’m a mother of three.
And I got a 30 minute shower.
I left the door unlocked so I wouldn’t have to step out to unlock it, as I do with every other shower.
But, no one came in.
I didn’t have to referee a single fight from the shower.
Nor did I have to remind someone to wipe the seat or compliment their poop wiping abilities from my hot water haven.
No one came in to ask me where anything was.
No one came to ask if they could have a snack.
No one came to sit on the other side of the shower curtain to do shadow puppets.
No one came in to sit and chat, “just cuz.”
I bathed, I shaved, I deep conditioned my hair!
I even sang a little, albeit quietly so I wouldn’t be discovered.
I’m keeping this precious 30 minute experience a secret from the monkeys because I think they honestly believe I’m lonely when I’m in the shower, and that their presence in the bathroom while I bathe is a good deed.
“Poor, lonely Mommy,” they think. “She must miss us so much while she’s in that bathroom alone. We best keep her company.”
So, to preserve their tender little psyches, I won’t tell them about my 30 minutes alone.
But, I might see if, next time, I can stretch it to 35.
Catharsis
I’m a purger by nature.
Purger of clutter, no need to worry for my health.
I toss or give away almost anything that isn’t tied down around here.
I guess you could say I’m a minimalist, which is sometimes a struggle due to the fact that I have 3 children, and children seem to have their own gravitational pull for clutter.
So, the end of the school year (for the monkeys) is extremely cathartic for me.
We open up backpacks and start purging.
If it doesn’t have a handprint or a picture on it, we toss it.
Well, at least we used to toss it.
Before Monkey Girl arrived on the scene.
Monkey Girl is a pack rat, like her father.
I realize that it may well be her coping mechanism for a mother who wants to throw everything away.
So, we compromise.
She goes through her pile of papers and “stuff” and decides what to toss and what to keep.
Once she’s done, we toss the toss pile.
Then, we go through the keep pile together and decide what to toss now.
It’s a good system.
We get rid of about 2/3 of her stuff that way, whereas, if it were left to her, we’d probably only toss 1/8.
Here’s the cute part, however.
As much as she does the whole “I ain’t tossin’ nothin’ and you can’t make me” routine, she’s got a lot of me in her, as well.
She loves to keep the unused pages in workbooks that have been sent home, so she created binder with dividers for each subject, cut them out of the workbook, punched holes, and made herself a “summer workbook.”
She’s the only kid I know who, on the second to last day of school, is making a notebook of work to do so she doesn’t “forget how to do school work,” and can “be ahead of the game in September.”
It’s pretty cute.
To me.
Because it’s totally something I would have done.
Okay, it’s something I DID do, as a kid, but I honestly didn’t tell her about it.
She came to it on her own.
The boys do NOT share her prediliction for the summer work.
Monkey in the Middle basically dumped his entire backpack in the trash when he got home yesterday, as it WAS his last day.
“Monkey?” I said.
“Yes,” he said.
(I know, again, my masterful use of dialogue astounds the mind. Why I’m not a published author yet is beyond me.)
“You sure you don’t want to keep any of that?”
“Nope.”
So, I rescued things like his report card, photographs, and a letter from his teacher from the trash, and off he went.
Two different monkeys.
Two different approaches.
Yet, both completely like their mother.
Ah, genetics.
June 18, 2010
Laughed So Hard I Cried
Someone posted a link to the blog Suburban Snapshots today.
I figured, what the heck?
I’ll check it out.
I laughed so hard I nearly fell off of my chair at her latest post, “Why Having a Toddler is Like Being at a Frat Party.”
Honestly, the funniest thing I’ve read in ages.
Don’t forget to read the comments…they are as funny as the original post!
Enjoy!
June 16, 2010
It’s Been a Day
It started out harmlessly enough.
I awoke to Monkey Girl singing Hannukah songs at the top of her lungs.
My good, little Catholic girl.
So, I posted on Facebook that it was just a typical June Thursday with Monkey Girl singing Hannukah songs.
Then, my friend, Michelle, reminded me that it was only Wednesday.
So, that depressed me a bit, and I thought “Hmmm…this doesn’t bode well.”
But, I moved on.
Driving the two and a half minutes to work, I sneezed as I turned a corner, hit the curb and popped, yes, popped my front right tire.
I was running a little late, so I had about 15 minutes to get to work.
I can change my own tire.
I’ve changed many a tire in my day (which makes me wonder about my driving) but today, I needed to be to work in 15.
So, I called Real Man who was, fortunately, working from home.
He couldn’t come until my Dad came to watch the kids.
I could have hoofed it, but that would have taken more than the 15 minutes.
So, I pull out my cell, start walking and start calling people I work with.
No one seemed to have their cells on, which makes sense since we’re teachers, but I didn’t see the logic as I kept getting voicemail.
Then, finally, my friend, Matt, called back and agreed to come get me.
Later, Real Man got to my car, and started to change the tire.
But, the van is so old that the jack kept punching through the rust on the bottom.
Once he found a stable area for the jack, the jack broke and the van slammed to the ground.
He got it changed, but needless to say, the van is now at the service station.
My diagnosis is bent axle.
But, what do I know?
So, what’s a girl to do?
Take your allergy medicine and be drowsy while driving, or don’t take the meds and risk sneezing and blowing out a tire.
Anyway, work went quite smoothly as we practiced graduation, and then after school, the kids and I chilled.
We decided to take the monkey heads to Wendy’s, and as we sat, eating, Baby Monkey came out with one of his pearls of wisdom.
“Mom?” he said.
“Yes?” I responded.
(Don’t you love my masterful use of dialogue?)
“Mom, a dog is not a musical instrument.”
The way that kid thinks is beyond me.
I don’t need to figure it out.
It just erased the bad stuff and made the day worthwhile.
June 14, 2010
Random Thought for the Day
I think archaeologists have got it all wrong.
I don’t say that lightly, because I have always wanted to be an archaeologist.
I thought about looking for a college that had a program in archaeology, but went with music instead.
See the connection?
Anyway, I don’t think the T-Rex was the terror of the Jurassic Age at all.
In fact, I think T-Rex was the laughingstock of the era.
Even when watching Jurassic Park, I didn’t find the big T so threatening.
I think it might stem from their little arms.
I always imagine a little voice to go with those arms.
Like Elmo, but sillier.
So, there it is.
June 12, 2010
My Tough Guy
Monkey in the Middle is downstairs, playing a car racing game.
Because he’s a guy.
And guys like fast cars.
And danger.
They are hard and tough and strong.
Guys are macho.
And when they play car racing games, they wear masculine outfits like this.
What a man.
June 11, 2010
Long Lost Friend
So, on Facebook, my friend, Sharon, told me about a blog she thought I should check out.
Now, first, since we all know about Facebook “friends” let me share that Sharon is actually a friend of mine.
Not a random person that I’ve friended, in order to ensure that I have lots and lots of people to share my business with.
That would just be silly.
That’s what this blog is for.
I kid, I kid.
Anyway, Sharon and I work together, and we talked a bit about the blog today at work, and she said I should really check it out.
I trust Sharon’s judgement.
Sharon is much like me.
We don’t do drama.
We tell it like it is.
We love our families and love the kids we are entrusted to teach.
We’re pretty awesome, me and Sharon.
But, I digress.
The point was, I trust her judgement.
So, I checked out the blog.
I think this blogger is my long lost friend.
We love iCarly, She loves iCarly.
She sometimes does a Wordless Wednesday post, I sometimes do a Wordless Wednesday post.
I wake up with three kids in my bed most mornings, she wakes up with three kids in her bed most mornings.
She’s very funny, I’m very funny.
Okay, that one is a matter of perspective.
Anyway, check out her blog.
I enjoyed it and I think you will, too!
June 8, 2010
My Songbird
My precious 6-year old had his end of year concert tonight.
While there were many flaws with the concert itself, my little guy was fantastic.
He sang all the songs, did all the motions, and was just wonderful.
I couldn’t sit with the family…not enough seats, so I stood in the back of the “auditorium” (in quotes because I hesitate to actually call it an auditorium) and watched.
We caught eyes, early on, and from then on, I think he was singing right to me.
We shared lots of smiles, and I blew him kisses and he smiled bigger.
So proud of that guy.
So proud!
June 6, 2010
Family Picnic
So, today was Family Picnic day.
Big doin’s in Real Man’s family.
His immediate and extended family descend upon a local park, and basically take the joint over.
It’s a good time, and the monkeys and their cousins love, love, love it.
Our little branch of the family is always the first to get there, along with my father-in-law.
So, the monkeys and I headed out on the local park system, county-wide path.
We always bring lots of food, and we eat it all.
Burgers, dogs, sausage and peppers, Doritoes, Cheetos, Fritos, Double Stuf Oreos.
Delicious.
After all of that food, sometimes, you need a rest.
Baby Monkey and I spent some time just laying in the outfield, looking at the clouds.
Then, the sky started to look like this:
And this…
And this…
I pulled out my iPhone and checked the weather.
Tornado warnings throughout New Jersey.
Really? Cuz, I don’t live in California because I don’t enjoy earthquakes, and I don’t live in the Gulf because I don’t enjoy hurricanes, and I DON’T live in Kansas because I don’t like tornados.
Tornado warnings in NJ?
Whatever.
We packed up and were ready to go, but decided to wait a little bit and see what happened.
The skies cleared and we de-packed and started cooking dinner.
Now, I have no pictures to document this, but I spent a good portion of the day holding my almost 6 month old nephew.
Good stuff.
Really good stuff
There is just something about those warm, sweaty little bodies, snuggled up next to you, looking around, checking out the world.
He’s got teeth coming in, and so he was gnawing on his little hand, drooling all over my shoulder.
I loved every second of it.
So, in the end, did we have a good time at the family picnic?
I think Monkey Girl’s feet tell the story.
Those feet played hard and had fun.
