My Real Life

Tiny had to have surgery on Friday.

Minor surgery to remove his adenoids and have tubes put in his ears, but surgery, nonetheless.

He was ignorantly excited about the whole process, wondering if he would get a sticker afterward (he did).

In the recovery room, he smiled at everyone, but he was very, very quiet.

Over and over again, the doctors and nurses and staff kept saying “He’s such a good boy!’  “He’s so well-behaved!”  “What an awesome kid!”

And he is…they are correct.

But, I couldn’t help but wonder…what if he was in his element?

What if he wasn’t a little nervous, and so still and silent?

Would they not have considered him “a good boy?”

What if his mouth was moving a million miles a minute, like it usually does?

What if he was moving around, always in motion, as if powered like a battery, like on a normal day?

Would they have not said he was “so well-behaved?”

What do we value in children?

Uniformity?

Compliance?

I’m not saying that this kid is perfect.

He’s spent time in the office at daycare, and is currently getting stickers for when he is actually able to be still and quiet for a few minutes before moving to the quiet room at nap time.

So far, he’s earned one.

But, does this mean he’s not a “good kid?”

Or does it mean he’s a three year old monkey who is learning how to behave.

Who is learning the power of words and that “No! I don’t like that!” shouted at the top of his lungs can often getting a larger reaction than a quiet, “No, thank you.”

Some of my favorite students from the past 21 years of being an educator were the ones who challenged me most

Who were always critically thinking, problem solving, debating, wondering, dreaming, speaking, moving, and shaking.

So, what makes “a good boy?”

And is that what I want for my own boy?

February is birthday month around here.

By the time March 2015 fights it’s way through the snow to arrive, I’ll have 14, 11, 9, and 4 year old children.

I’ll have a 14 year old girl who is ready for high school and all that awaits her.

Who is loving and kind and funny and brilliant, and is the person I want to be when I grow up.

I’ll have an 11 year old boy who is moving on to middle school.

Who is busy and curious and wanting to be involved in it all, despite the fact that it all gives him a world of worry.

I’ll have a 9 year old boy who is quiet and shy and funny and unique and could solve all of the world’s problems with construction paper and tape.

Who is patient and often misunderstood, but awesome in ways that most people can only dream of.

And I’ll have a 4 year old boy who is headstrong and hilarious.

Who is the apple of his sibling’s eye, and is the joy we didn’t know we needed until he arrived.

February comes and goes in a blur.

There are birthday parties and family dinners and presents and snow days and deadlines and performances and every other thing under the sun.

It’s easy, in this house, to view these birthdays as “something else I have to do.”

Something to check off the list.

Something to get through.

So, despite the fact that, in all aspects of our lives, February is the busiest month of the year, I want to make a concerted effort, on these four days, to stop.

To be grateful for the four people who call me Mama and who keep me young (and make me oh so old).

To celebrate.

To remember.

Because, someday, these days might be celebrated with a card in the mail and a phone call across the country or over the sea.

Happy Birthday, my babies.

Mommy loves you.

 

 

Ah…Broadway.

Since I was a kid, there are very few things in life that move me as much as seeing a Broadway show.

Even a show that isn’t fantastic just (to quote Monkey Girl) gives me the feels.

We live about 45 minutes west of NYC, and even still, I haven’t been to that many shows, which is a real shame, but they are incredibly cost prohibitive, and as an adult, I have four children and that’s time prohibitive.

I saw a lot of shows when I was younger and my parents were paying.

I’ve seen Phantom three times.

I’ve seen Les Miserables six.

I’ve seen Annie twice, once in the 80’s and once a few years ago, thanks to a generous invite from one of Monkey Girl’s friends.

My parents took me to see Cats, as a kid, and they both fell asleep until some of those Jellicle cats came out and perched on the edge of my Dad’s seat and scared the bejesus out of him.

Real Man and I saw Smokey Joe’s cafe with my parents, sat front row center, and my incredibly introverted Real Man inadvertently became part of the show, complete with a boa.

I saw Movin’ Out with Erin, which was INCREDIBLE.

And, a few years ago, I saw Mamma Mia with Erin, Kim, and Michaela…all born in the 70’s…all girls who know their Abba.

So, for an early birthday gift for Monkey Girl, Real Man and I bought tickets (through Broadway’s awesome 2-for-1 deal) to see Mamma Mia.

She really wanted to see Wicked, but guess what show sold out first?

Mamma Mia was her second choice, but she was thrilled and grateful and overwhelmed, because that’s the kinda kid she is.

So, she and I headed in on the train and the fun began.

I should mention that it was cold and the ground was covered in snow on the day we went in, so we were all bundled up.

Well, I was all bundled up.

Monkey Girl decided that she would wear capri jeans with flats.

Because “that’s all she had.”

I offered to loan her some of my boots and shoes, but they were too small, and by the time we were leaving, she said there were no other options and that her winter boots were ugly and she wasn’t wearing them.

I didn’t agree, but that was a battle I wasn’t going to fight.

As the parent of a teenager, sometimes the only way they will realize you are always right is to let them experience being wrong.

Even if it’s a very uncomfortable wrong.

On the train, we talked and she filmed the first piece of her Vlog assignment for her french class.

One take and she was done.

Or not…

Our plan was simple.

We’d head into Penn Station and walk to John’s Pizzeria…one of my favorite places to eat in the city.

I had called ahead and they had told me that we didn’t need reservations for a party under 15 people and had assured me that during the time in which we were arriving, we would have no trouble getting a table.

So, we arrived and…no tables and a one hour wait.

That would put us late for the show, so we decided to try Carmine’s, down the street.

And, as you can imagine…they weren’t accepting people without reservations.

So, we decided to hit the Hard Rock.

Monkey Girl was not excited, as she had her heart set on pasta, but time was ticking away and we were starving, so she agreed to give it a try, because I was not taking my girl to McDonald’s on her big night.

They gave us a wait time of 30 minutes, and we figured we could make that work.

We walked around and looked at the memorabilia and chatted.

I made her take a picture of me next to Adam Levine’s guitar and picture because…Adam Levine.

She was a little apprehensive while looking at the menu, so I decided that this would be the perfect time to introduce her to some haute cuisine.

Potato skins.

If it wasn’t so loud in there, the noises coming from our table as we devoured those potato skins could possibly have gotten us thrown out, but her education in the world of appetizers was a success, and she was on board.

With each song that came on, I fascinated (bored) her with tales of the artists.

Like the time I chatted with Joan Jett on a plane on the way to San Antonio to see my friend, Mark.

Okay…maybe chatted is a bit of an exaggeration.

We head nodded to each other as I moved past her in first class.

I like to think it was as memorable for her as it was for me.

I took this shot of her next to the Black Sabbath guitar because it was right at our table, and she wasn’t too keen on posing with Billy Joel’s motorcycle.

Which is crazy.

It’s a great shot of my girl.

But, upon closer inspection, we found that it’s an even greater shot of the woman behind her, who did not appear to enjoy the fact that she was being immortalized in our family photos forever.

We found it interesting that they followed up Joan Jett with “Let it Go” and then moved to Marilyn Manson, but applauded the fact that they were engaging a larger audience, and couldn’t help but notice the fact that at least one person at each table sang along with “Let it Go,” while a far smaller audience mouthed the words to most of the other selections.

A little girl of about 7 actually stood up and sang, standing next to her table and sang the whole thing…arm motions and all.

Gotta love that enthusiasm.

Our waiter, who was being shadowed by a trainee, asked us what show we were seeing, and then told his trainee to leave.

She was confused, but she left, and he then proceeded to lower his voice and tell us how he and Bradley Cooper are BFF’s.

Well, they WERE BFF’s, but they haven’t seen each other in years, but he was going to see him in The Elephant Man and was going to surprise him backstage.

Well, maybe not backstage because it’s a surprise and Brad won’t know he’s coming and may not give him permission, so maybe he’d surprise him outside the theater after the show.

But, they definitely are BFF’s.

I don’t know about you, but I smell a stalker.

Then…the show.

Genetics run strong in that girl, because, although she looks exactly like her father, her emotions come from her Mama.

I have never been to a Broadway show where I haven’t cried my way through the overture at the sheer excitement of being there.

I turned to her, halfway through the overture and saw the matching tears on her cheeks.

Amazing show, once again, and after it was over, on the way to the train, we talked about which of our friends would be which characters, if the show was about our lives, our Broadway dreams, and, most importantly…she finally admitted she was, maybe, a little cold.

But only a little.

On the train ride home, she got a crash course in drunk people on a train, which, incidentally, would be an excellent Twitter hashtag, and she made a time-lapse video of the sights outside our window.

We got home and she thanked Real Man and I profusely for a wonderful experience, and I think we both had a hard time falling asleep for the wonder of it all.

Imagine.

Broadway.

Imagine being lucky enough to have your job be to sing your heart out in front of an audience night after night after night.

Awesome.

Imagine being lucky enough to be able to spend some quality time with your daughter in the midst of deadlines and due dates and paperwork and four children and life.

Even better.

As the blog gets more followers, I’ve been going back and reading some of my older posts.

I find it fascinating, at times, to see where I was then with where I am today.

Yet, in many areas, it’s interesting to see that as much as things change, they also stay the same.

So, I thought it might be fun to do a Then and Now post for you, where I take an old post and update it with how I would have written it, were I writing it today.

To begin the process, I’m taking you back to September 2009, where I decided to answer 20 questions for you, the readers.

In 2009, I was a 37 year old mother of a 7 year old girl, a 4 year old boy, and a 2 year old boy.

Tiny wasn’t even a twinkle in my eye.

Scratch that…Tiny was the furthest thing from a twinkle in my eye because I was feeling overwhelmed with just three kids.

I was the Instructional Leader for Math and Science at my middle school, and was teaching piano lessons after school.

I had been blogging for a month, and not too many people had read anything I had ever written.

Today, I’m a 43 year old mother of a 13 year old girl, and 10, 8, and 3 year old boys.

Most days, Tiny is the one who actually puts the twinkle in my eye.

I’m the Supervisor in charge of Language Arts, Social Studies, and Technology in my middle school, and am still teaching piano after school and on the weekends.

I’ve been blogging for six years, have been published in an anthology, on the Huffington Post, was a semi-finalist in Amazon’s Breakthrough Novel of the Year contest, and write for my author’s group as often as we can meet.

It’s been a good six years.

So, click back to that old post and then let’s take a look at some of these questions and see what else has changed:

1.  Show us the inside of something cute.

I didn’t get this question in 2009 and I don’t get it today.

The inside of something cute?

So, ruin the cute thing by cutting it open?

Yeah, no, I don’t think so.

2.  What’s the last home cooking you had?

As I write this, the last home cooking I had was the taco dinner that I made for the family last night.

I make dinner pretty much every night, for the family, so this one hasn’t really changed too much.

3.  What do you miss?

What do I miss?

These girls:

So much.

It’s been too long, and I can’t wait to get together and just hang out with my girls, again.

4.  What makes you laugh often?

Tiny.

He’s ridiculous.

He’s trying out new words all the time and sometimes he uses them correctly, and sometimes he doesn’t.

He’s been enjoying the snow and it’s a blast to watch him slide down the hill and then carry his little board back up.

He gets to the top and yells, “Again!” and flops down and slides right back down again.

He sneezes and yells “Boogers!” and expects me to run after him with a tissue, and if you don’t get there fast enough, then he just uses his sleeve.

Or the sleeve of the person nearest to him.

Tiny is a 3 year old with more personality that you can imagine and he makes me laugh every single day.

5.  What’s your favorite word?

Kindness.

Kind is all I want my kids to be, and I find myself looking for kindness everywhere.

When I see my kids being kind to each other, I point it out, celebrate it, and reward it.

I try to model it, but know that, often, I fall short.

Kindness.

We all could use a little more of it in our lives.

6.  What are you trying to quit?

Biting the inside of my mouth.

Since I was a kid, it’s been what I do.

There are probably a million photos of me with my mouth contorted mid-face bite.

I always figured it was just a bad habit like nail biting, etc, but recently, I’ve noticed the stakes are a little higher on this one.

I’m getting some weird wrinkles around my mouth that seem to fit, exactly, the shape I make when I’m biting the inside of my mouth.  So, I gotta quit.

7.  What’s your favorite commercial, right now?

Ooh, those Matthew McConaughay Lincoln commercials!

No, no…I kid.

I’m actually really enjoying the Rob Lowe commercials for Direct TV.

These may be regional…I’m not sure, but I think they are creative and funny.

Not hilarious…more cheesy and “Oh, Rob Lowe, how far you’ve fallen,” but I look forward to seeing a new one when it comes out.

Check this one out.

8.  Whose style do you dig?

I still dig Jennifer Garner’s style, but these days, I am loving Kristen Bell.

And Dax Shepard.

There really isn’t anything I don’t like about these two.

I saw them interviewed on a show where they were discussing paparazzi laying off of the children of celebrities and thought they made their case so eloquently and clearly.

I loved their commercials over the holidays.

I believe I’ve shared my Veronica Mars love before, so I don’t need to go there.

I just like them as people, as a couple, as parents, as celebrities, and so I feel pretty confident in my answer that I dig their style.

9.  Link to a great blog you’ve discovered recently.

I haven’t discovered it recently, but one of my favorite blogs is Bad Parenting Moments, written by my friend and co-author, Bethany.

She is often funny, but more often, she is honest and frank, and she writes about things that others are too afraid to write about, and makes me say “Yes…exactly,” every time.

Please check her out.

I know you won’t regret it.

10.  What’s the last craft you made?

Ahahahahahahahahahaha!

That’s just hilarious.

Craft.

Me.

Monkey Boy is the crafty guy around here and spends most of his time making things out of construction paper and tape, but his Mama isn’t the crafty type.

11.  A photo of the last “happy” mail you received.

The last piece of happy mail that came to our house is a letter accepting Monkey Girl into the STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Math) Academy at the high school.

It seems to be what she wants, so we are happy for her.

Right now, she wants to either be a veterinarian or an architect, and she feels this is the best way to get there.

Proud of her for going for it.

12.  Something you’ve got lately.

I didn’t really understand this question six years ago, and still don’t “get” it, today.

So, “this question” is not my answer.

13.  What are you looking forward to?

What am I looking forward to?

I’ll tell you what I’m looking forward to.

Morristown’s Got Talent.

Monkey Girl and I auditioned, back in December, and they whittled down the performers from 70 acts to 16, and we made the cut.

We are thrilled beyond belief, and completely nervous, and very, very excited.

We can’t wait for February 25!

14.  Post a recent snapshot of yourself.

Did you see the picture from 2009?

I had such long hair!

I still drove the minivan!

I loved that leather jacket!

Anyway…here I am, today, with Monkey Boy:

15.  Recent Favorite Movie?

Into the Woods

Hands down.

It was amazing.

I’ve mentioned this before, but I’ll mention it again.

The audience applauded when it was over.

I’m a sucker for a musical, and this was absolutely no exception.

16.  Something you’re working on right now?

My author’s group met last week and I shared a short fiction piece I had written.

They gave me excellent feedback and I’m working on revising it so that I can figure out what I want to do with it.

Maybe I’ll share it with you!

17.  If a movie were made about you, who would play you?

It’s still Reese Witherspoon.

Six years later, and I continue to get stopped in stores and told that I look like her.

The older I get, the less I see it, but I’ll take it, because I think she’s a cutie.

18.  What gives you goosebumps?

Broadway.

Monkey Girl and I saw “Mamma Mia” last night and it was amazing.

I’d seen it before, but it doesn’t matter how many times I see a show on Broadway (Les Mis…6 times) it gives me goosebumps.

Call it a dream unrealized, call it being unbelievably impressed with the talent, call it the wow factor, but Broadway gives me goosebumps and I realized, last night, that I don’t get there nearly enough.

19.  Share a new obsession.

My latest obsession is getting Monkey Girl to watch old shows with me.

She didn’t go for Gilmore Girls, so I almost had to disown her.

However, she seems to be hooked on the original Beverly Hills, 90210, so, we’re good.

Although, she has been watching an inordinate amount of Saved By the Bell, so I am a little concerned about her taste.

But only a little.

Because, Zach Morris.

20.  What’s the meaning of your life?

To positively influence other’s lives.

I just want to make sure that I don’t leave a negative impact on the world and that I leave the world a better place than I found it; whether physically, emotionally, or spiritually.

If this was everyone’s goal…oh, what a world it could be.

One of my 15 Wishes for 2015 was to give up some of my television shows.

Doesn’t sound like a big deal, but I love television.

I love the escape.

I don’t actually start watching tv until 9 or 9:30 at night, so most of the things that I watch I’ve recorded and am watching as I fall asleep or while I’m folding laundry, but we upgraded to the super duper platinum ultimate dvr contract so I could record up to six shows at a time, and that, in and of itself, is a pretty good indication of how much I’ve been watching.

There are a lot of things I want to do in 2015, and I really don’t think I’ll be able to do them if I keep up with this television thing.  At one point, my friend, Matt, counted 52 shows that I was currently watching.

That number actually felt pathetic to write.

So, it’s time to pare down and carve out some time for the other things in life I enjoy.

Here’s what’s going:

American Horror Story – I think my relationship with AHS has come to an end.  Season 1 hooked me.  No one loved Season 2 Asylum more than me.  Then Season 3, Coven, showed up.  Eh.  So, I gave Season 4 a good, old-fashioned try.  But, when I realized that I had seven episodes DVR’d and I was willing to watch the shows my kids had recorded, without the kids, instead of AHS, I knew it was time to say goodbye.

Revenge – Oh, Emily Thorne.  Pretty much everyone knows your secret now.  Your father is back from the dead.  Your gorgeous fiance is dead.   Your gorgeous ex-husband is dead.   You aren’t getting together with Jack any time soon.  I think you’ve taken this story as far as it can you.  You got your revenge.  And, I think we’re done.

The Vampire Diaries – Yeah, yeah…it’s not a show for 43 year old middle school administrators.  I get it, I get it.  But, I’ve loved it since it started.  I don’t love it anymore.  How many times can someone switch places with their doppelganger, anyway?  People die on the show, but they are still hanging around.  The story just goes on and on and on.  Enough.

Parenthood – Okay.  This is cheating.  The series is ending.  However, the truth remains that once they broadcast that final episode, I’m not watching the show anymore.  So, technically…I’m cutting it out.  Go me.

Covert Affairs – It’s a USA show and I really enjoyed it, and then they finally put Annie and Augie together and I LOVED it.  And then they broke up and she went dark and it all just got weird.  Covert Affairs…I gotta quit you.

Grimm – I tried to love this show.  I never watched a full season, but I watched a lot of episodes of each season.  I tried, but I never loved it.  I’m not even sure why I kept watching it.  I mean, I know why I kept watching it…I love that kind of stuff, but this just didn’t deliver for me.  Besides, I’ve got enough supernatural stuff in my television arsenal.  This one can go and I won’t miss it at all.

Gotham – I know of one person who is probably disowning me at this very moment (if he actually reads the blog) but I just can’t do it.  I loved the first episode.  I liked the second.  I tolerated the third.  And that’s where I stopped and I haven’t felt like “Ooh…I need to catch up on Gotham” for even one second.  The premise is great.  How did all the villains in Gotham get to be villains, and how did little Bruce Wayne get to be big, tough, Batman Bruce Wayne?  It’s just too much Oswald Cobblepot, who was always the creepiest Batman villain, as the Penguin.  Danny DeVito did such a good job with that role in the movie that I am seriously creeped out by just the thought of the character.  And Donal Logue is just a big jerk.  I like him much better in Vikings, which is a show on the History channel that I am NOT going to let go.

Castle – It actually pains me to write this.  I love Castle.  I really do.  And I don’t feel like the show jumped the shark when Castle and Beckett got together.  I think they handled it beautifully.  I love the characters.  I love the writing.  I love the mysteries.  There really isn’t anything about the show that I don’t like.  But, I don’t watch anymore, and although I have a ton of episodes recorded, I don’t feel the need to watch them.  I’m sure when the kids are out of the house and I’m in my late 50’s, they’ll still be showing it in syndication somewhere, and I’ll just watch it then.

So, that’s what I’m walking away from.

However, there are some shows that I’ll never leave until they get cancelled (which they probably will, because most shows I like get cancelled) or come to a natural conclusion.

What are they?

Here’s a few:

Reign – Another CW show that is probably not for my demographic, but it has totally sucked me in.  Give me kings and queens, and you’ll have me at “your majesty.”  Make them attractive with love triangles, Nostradamus, and some mysteries and I’m a goner.

Outlander – I don’t even feel a little bad about this one because it has a short season, I read the book (three times) before watching the show, and it’s Scotland.  Scotland, people.  Time travel?  I’m in.  And, oh, there’s this:

Oh, Jamie Fraser.  Ní fheicfidh mé a stopadh breathnú ar do seó , which, if Google Translate is accurate means, “I’ll never quit watching your show.”

Game of Thrones – It’s on for, like, three months a year.  I refuse to feel guilty about this one.

Sherlock – Speaking of short series, Sherlock has 3 episodes a season, and it has a season every two years, or so.  Benedict Cumberbatch is so, so good. Martin Freeman is amazing.  I love to watch Sherlock think, and it’s highly entertaining.  Plus, it’s a BBC show, and lord knows I love those Brits.

New Girl – Is it the best show on television?  Not even close.  But it makes me laugh, and it’s utter and complete nonsense.  I feel like so much of my life is serious, serious, serious…sometimes it’s nice to just indulge in some idiocy.  And I like the characters.  Independently, they would probably annoy the heck outta me, but together, they work.  And they care about each other, in their own twisted way.

The Bachelor/The Bachelorette – I don’t want to hear it.  I love this show.  I also love how Real Man “doesn’t watch” with me.  Talk about mindless entertainment; this is it.  I’m surprised I love it because I get so upset because they never pick who I want them to pick.  There were a few seasons where I let my friend, Carolyn, tell me the ending, but I’m back to being surprised and letting the story unfold naturally.  Or, at least, as naturally as one person dating twenty other people at the same time and proposing to one of them in a matter of weeks can be.

There are some other shows in the lineup, but I’m feeling pretty serious about cutting back and spending more time doing the things that I keep saying I want to do.  I’ll never be one of those people who says, “I got rid of cable,” or, “I don’t have a tv,” because, to quote my Grandma, I gotta have my stories.

I love tv.

Not as much as I love the movies, of course, but that’s a post for another day.

When I woke up, this morning, school was delayed due to freezing temps and icy conditions.

Winter was slow in coming to Northern NJ.

My kids played outside for most of December, and I’m not sure I even made them wear a coat.

But now it’s January and winter is here.

Every day, Facebook is filled with people’s photos of their car thermometers, or the snow on their decks, and I gotta tell you, I love it.

The majority of my friends are biding their time until the sun comes out and the coats come off, and I’ll be honest…give me a few months and I’ll probably be eager for a day without gloves, as well.

However…

There is just something about the winter and the cold.

Whenever I’ve imagined the possibility of moving somewhere else, “south” never came to my mind.

I’d want to go somewhere were there were mountains and snow and perpetual fall and winter.

I enjoy seeing my breath outside, and being able to come in and warm up.

There is something about the briskness to the cold air that wakes me up, invigorates me, and makes me feel alive.

I dream of Maine or Vermont or Alaska.

While I want to visit Scotland and Ireland, the glaciers of Greenland call my name, as well.

In the summer, there’s only so much you can take off and still be appropriate.

In the winter, you can bundle up all you want, and there’s nothing like burrowing under the covers with a loved one and hiding away from the chill.

Evenings in front of the fireplace with a cup of hot tea and a good book, or a family board game while you let the fire warm you enough until you have to move slightly away.

I love the silence of snow and the crisp whiteness as it blankets the world.

Sunglasses in the winter to fight the snow glare are ultimately more satisfying to me than sunglasses in the summer.

If I’m being honest, I’ll say that I also look forward to the possibility of a snow day, in the winter.

There’s nothing like just being able to snuggle up with your babies a little longer in the morning and laying low with them all day.

The machinations of getting four kids in snowsuits are a pain, but there’s no joy like that in child’s face who is sledding down a hill, showing off their snowman, or shrieking as they run from snowballs.

So, bring it, winter.

I’m ready.

By the time this posts, our winter break will be over and we’ll all be back to work, school, daycare, etc.

I know as I walk the halls of school, the majority of conversations I’ll have will begin with the question, “How was your break?”

People will respond “Too short!”  “Great, how was yours?”  “Too much food!”

I’ll probably respond with one of those, as well, because as you pass in the hallway, surrounded by middle school students, it’s difficult to really convey the events of a winter break.

Five seconds, in passing, is too short to say “My 8 year old made his way through all of the Harry Potter movies, for the first time, and through the original 3 Star Wars films, so I consider that a win.”

Too short to say, “The kids and I saw Annie, which we loved, even though I wasn’t a fan of the new songs or the changes to the old ones, Night at the Museum, which made me cry, and Monkey Girl and I saw Into the Woods, which was fantastic, made the audience applause, like we were at Broadway.  We laughed, we cried, and we loved it.  Oh, and we saw the preview for Pitch Perfect 2 which made me way too excited for summer to get here.”

How do you wrap up “Christmas was wonderful with the entire family (25+ people) here for the day, New Year’s was so much fun, spending the night with close friends who make us laugh, and my birthday was relaxing and fun and the kids kept the fighting to a minimum,” in a head nod at a colleague.

When someone asks “How was your break?” I’m not sure they want to hear, “Too long for two of my monkeys who thrive on routine and busy-ness and need to get back to school/daycare, and too short for the other two who love downtime, and time spent with family.”

Is there time for, “Well, we lost power, and then the generator oil tank kinda lost it’s mind and shut down the generator twenty minutes before a houseful of guests was due to arrive on Christmas, and we had to, unexpectedly, also buy a new hot water heater before the New Year?”

It may sound to cheesy to say “I watched Real Man play in the high school alumni hockey game, and do a great job, and it made me feel like I was back in high school when he was my boyfriend and I was so proud of him out on that ice.”

So, I’ll probably just go with “Good, thanks…yours?” and leave it at that.

But, I’ll know in my head that there were ups and downs, and that when they say the same, that they, too, probably have a whole lotta story that they are also paring down to a few words.

 

1. Take the family to DisneyWorld. Not a need, and definitely a first world problem that we have never taken the kids there, but I’m making it number one on my list because it’s something I’d really like to experience with them.  Although, at this point, I should say “either Disney or Universal Studios” because with most of the kids being older, I think that would probably be the draw.
2. Participate in at least one random act of kindness per week.  I felt really good about this one, this year, and plan on doing it again, and hopefully, challenging my kids to do the same
3. Exercise at least twice a week.  Ideally, it would be five times a week.  However, as you’ll see later on the list, I need to be a little kinder to myself this year, and part of that is not setting myself up for failure with unrealistic expectations.  This doesn’t mean I’m not going to challenge myself.  However, I definitely need to learn to pick my battles, and this is one where I’m not going to beat myself up.
4. Watch less tv.  Hahahaha!!! Oh, that’s a good one.  Okay, but seriously folks…I dvr a lot of shows, and I think it’s time to cut back.  I used to read myself to sleep at night, but have fallen into the habit of falling asleep to the tv at night.  RealMan gets frustrated because I’ll put something on and fall asleep partway through, leaving him watching the rest.  It gets to the point where I’ll put something on, say “Ooh, I need to finish this,” and he’ll say, “Amy, I’ve seen this three times, already, while you’ve tried to ‘finish’ it.”  Truly, I don’t watch tv until after 8:30/9:00 at night, but  if I’m looking for more time to do some of the things on this list, maybe cutting back my shows is a good way to do it.
5. Make $1,000 by selling on eBay, consignment, etc.  I’m putting this one back on the list for 2015.  We definitely have things we can sell, and I’m always looking to purge things around here, so I want to give this the ole’ college try.  Again.
6. Blog at least once a month.  Last year, I said once a week.  Didn’t even come close.  This year, I am committed to posting a blog post at least once a month.  Anything else will be gravy, but I feel like once a month will help me ensure quality, and is a reasonable goal for someone with my work/home schedule.
7. Read 50 books (and keep track!)  I did 46 in 2014.  I’m shooting for 50 in 2015.  When I’ll get this done, I have no idea.  I used to read while on the treadmill, but then I fell away from the treadmill.  So, maybe I kill two goals with one stone this year.
8. Really go through my closet and be ruthless with getting rid of what I don’t wear.  Totally doing this one this year.  It sort of ties in to wish #5, but I want to write it down so that I’m holding myself accountable for it.
9. Play piano at least once a week. I miss it.  I just do.  I’ve had my piano since I was 7, and I do some of my best thinking when I’m sitting at the keys, lost in the music.
10. Write in my journal more often.   I’ve been thinking about this goal, a lot.  Everything I write, I write for someone else to read.  Even my journal, I think about the fact that my kids will wind up reading it when I am gone, so truly, EVERYTHING I write is for someone else’s consumption.  I post a lot on Facebook, whether on my personal page or my blog FB page.  I write in the blog (okay, okay…not often, but sometimes).  I write for my writer’s group, again, sparingly, but I do it.  It almost feels like, when I sit at the journal, what will I write?  I need to start thinking of my journal as just mine.  Just for me, and not worry about if the kids will read it when I’m gone and be upset about what they might read.  Because, the truth is, with as much as I write for everyone else, I still need an outlet for myself.
11. Get published, again.  By published, I don’t necessarily mean in book form, although, let’s be honest…that’d be incredible.  I would love to be published anywhere.  I’ve been on Huffington Post, I’d love to be on Scary Mommy or some other blog.  I’d take a fiction website.  And, of course, being in another anthology or publishing my own work would be amazing.  But, I do want to be published again, because, nothing makes us work harder, as writers, than knowing your work is being read by a large audience.
12. Re-edit my novel.  It needs work.  It does.  My plan had been to share bits of it with my writer’s group, but I really enjoyed writing new material for them, so I may ship it off to a different writer friend (any volunteers) to give me some good, hard, critical feedback.  Then, I’ll move from there.
13. Shred and pare down all of our files. Keeping this one for 2015, because it’s so necessary.  It’s one of those things, though, when I have a little spare time and look at this list, I think, “Do I want to sit on the couch and read or shred some files?”  I won’t insult you by telling you which one wins every time.
14. Entertain more.  I did this last year, and enjoyed it.  I plan to do even more of it, this year.  We’ve made a great circle of friends and we just enjoy spending time with them all.  Hoping to do much more of it in 2015.
15. Be kinder to myself.  I can’t fix it all.  I want to.  Desperately.  But I can’t.  I think I need to accept the AA motto of “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”  There are definitely things within my control, and those that are outside my control.  I don’t have to hold myself responsible for everything.  And so, I start with making this a list of 15 things, this year, instead of 20.  Because 15 is a lot.

As I’ve been browsing the internet, this holiday season, I’ve been seeing a million posts about what family Christmas letters SHOULD say or showing pictures of Christmas card fails.

They all make me laugh, but the truth is, a few months ago, when trying to figure out what photo to use for our Christmas card, I decided to go with a real shot, because, getting four kids to “smile pretty,” all at the same time, is a daunting task.

I don’t know how people do it.

I imagine it takes some pretty creative bribery.

Because, for the most part, my four are never smiling at the same time.

So, we went with this:

And it turns out, that as much as people say, “Oh, I wish people would be more real with their holiday cards,” in reality…

…it just confuses them.

I thought we were being funny.

The grumpy kid.

The choice of “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” underneath the grumpy kid.

The “Happy Holidays from 83% of the Bozza Family” to take the joke a little further.

Don’t get me wrong.

Many people laughed and loved it.

And then, we got a phone call from a relative, asking if we had some news to share.

We were completely confused, and then we realized they thought I was pregnant and the 83% was an indication that there were more children to come.

Then, I got questions about the math.

“Amy…it should 75% of the family…only one of the four kids are grumpy.”

Yes, I know…but it’s about 83% of the whole family.

“Amy…you know it’s not exactly 83%, right?”

There were also flat out, “I don’t get it” responses, and “I don’t like it.  Holiday cards should be cheerful and joyous.  He’s going to be really mad when he grows up.”

However, the one that got me the most was the person who said, “I LOVE it!  How will you ever top it next year?”

Because that sounds vaguely like a challenge, and now I gotta top it.

But for now, Happy Holidays from our home to yours…

May the majority of your family all be happy at the same time, this holiday season.

And if they aren’t?

Run with it.