My Real Life

December 3, 2009

Nice Afternoon

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 10:48 pm
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I had a nice afternoon, today.

Okay, it didn’t start out so nice, but it ended well.

It started with  my visit to the ENT where she numbed my sinuses and then poked a scope with a videocamera on it up into my nostril until I felt it in the back of my throat. 

Twice.

Then, she stuck a foot long Q-tip up my nose until I could practically feel it behind my eye so she could send it to a lab.

Twice.

(Twice…you know, since I have two nostrils and all.)

Anyway, that lab will come back on Monday.  In the meantime, despite the fact that I just finished up 28 days of antibiotics on Monday, I’m now on a new antibiotic for the next three weeks, at the end of which I will have a CAT scan to see what’s going on with my sinuses.

Good times.  Good times.

However, after my appointment, I picked up my Monkey Girl and we went to the eyeglass store to pick up my new glasses.

I like ’em.  They are brown, tortoise-shell out the outside and pink on the inside. 

I feel fancy in them. 🙂

Anyway, after getting the glasses, Monkey Girl and I were walking down the sidewalk, which happens to pass the local diner and I said, “Hey…you wanna go in and share a plate of french fries?” (No comments, please, on the whole diabetics shouldn’t eat potatoes thing, please…I was bonding with my girl.)

You would have thought I told her she won the lottery.

We went inside, shared a plate of fries and just had some Mommy/Monkey girl talk.

It was just a nice treat for Monkey Girl and an extra nice treat for me. 

I love that girl so much…I don’t think she’ll ever understand how much.

December 2, 2009

Here’s What Happens…

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 11:25 pm

…when you have an 8-year old Monkey Girl who reads way above grade level.

Monkey Girl:  “Hey, Dad?”

Real Man: “Yes?”

Monkey Girl: “What does ample mean?”

Real Man: “It means ‘enough.'”

Monkey Girl:  “Oh, okay.”

Pause

Monkey Girl: “Hey, Dad?”

Real Man: “Yes?”

Monkey Girl: “What does bosom mean?”

Real Man: “Let me see that book.”

Luckily, it was just describing someone’s old aunt and was completely appropriate, but yeah…so it begins.

December 1, 2009

Clarification and Cool Website

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 8:54 pm
Tags: , , ,

Before my daily post, I need to make a quick clarification about yesterdays post.

I was the recipient of some severe “talking to’s” by some of my friends today, after they read yesterdays post.

So, let me clarify.

The street that I followed this guy down was a well-lit, well-traveled thoroughfare.  There were many, many cars going by, people jogging and walking dogs.  I did not follow this man down a dark, deserted alley with my child in the car.  I would never endanger my monkeys.  Ever.

That being said, I called the insurance company today and they gave me the name of the body shop where I need to go to have it repaired and told me they’d pay $30 a day for a rental car if I need to leave the van there.  So, I’ll take it in later in the week. 

Now, onto our story for today.

On Sunday, Julie, a friend of mine from choir, asked if anyone had heard of Sporcle.com.  She said it was a website that had tons of quizzes and games on it.  I’m a quiz and game kinda girl, so I spent the better part of the afternon trying to find the website.  Of course, it didn’t help that I thought she said “Sparkle.com” and my search was fruitless.

I e-mailed her and she wrote back, reminding me that instead of wasting hours searching, I could have just called her.  That would have been the easy way out.  Finding the website was, in and of itself, a puzzle to be solved, and so I worked at it.  And failed.  Luckily, Julie gave me the correct site and I’m in love.

Seriously.

I love trivia and puzzles and games and quizzes.  It’s who I am.  It’s what I do.

Say what you want, but I seriously love that stuff.

So, you can imagine the time I’ve logged in already.

The good news is, I married a guy who loves that stuff, too.  So, I’ll be in the middle of a quiz and I’ll call out “Hey…who was the 14th president?” and he drops what he’s doing and runs over to play along.  It’s a lot of fun.

Now, you may have read that last sentence and thought, “Okay…I’m out.  It’s academic trivia.  Boring.”

Oh, no, my friends!

Last night we took the “Identify the TV Show by It’s Antonym” game.  That was a good one.  “Chaos and Confusion?” Oh, it’s “Law and Order.”  “Alive Yeller?”  Yep… “Ghost Whisperer.”

There is historical trivia, pop culture trivia, music trivia, etc.

It’s a good time.

Check it out.

In the meantime, we’re dealing with a 3-year old with some serious roid rage.  Perhaps roid “Whine and general dissatisfaction with life” is more appropriate, as he’s not throwing coffee tables, but he is miserable.  Three more days and then he’s done.  We can last three days…right?

November 30, 2009

I Should Have Known Better

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 9:43 pm
Tags: ,

It’s Monday.  That alone should have made me know better.  Monday never ends up well.  It just doesn’t.

And yet…

Here I was…7:00 at night, feeling like it had been a pretty good day.  Maybe even a great day.

I got the stuff done I needed to get done at work.  The kids and I hit the library and not only did they get books and dvd’s they wanted, I was able to find the book that I wanted, as well.  I made a good dinner and no one complained, and they ate it happily.  Real Man worked from home today, so he wasn’t late coming home from work and we got to spend some time together.  Really…a darn good day.

Baby Monkey and I had our follow-up appointments at the doctor at 7:00.  Her office is 20 minutes away and we take Route 80 to get there.  Traffic was light and Baby Monkey and I sang together in the car.  While we waited on the couch in the waiting room, we read books and snuggled and had a great time.

Then, we go in.  Baby Monkey was delightful, but despite his fabulous little self, he’s still “musical” in his chest when he breathes, so now, in addition to his antibiotic, he’s on prednisone.  He’s been on prednisone once before.  Roid rage is not  myth.  This should be interesting.

Then, she checks me.  I just finished my second course of 14 days of antibiotics.  That’s right folks…I’ve been on antibiotics for 28 days now.  And yes…I still have a sinus infection.  I’m at the point where I don’t even remember what normal feels like.  The poor people in my choir must be wishing me to go on vacation because I can’t even hear myself sing because my ears are always popped, so I just sing and hope I’m hitting some of the right notes.  Unfortunately, they are all too polite to tell me if I’m sucking up the place.  I’m exhausted all the time and basically just want to drill a hole in my temple, insert a little faucet and let the snot drip out…much like the pioneers did to get sap from a tree.  Okay, maybe a little different…and a lot grosser…but you get the point.

So, she referred me to an ear, nose and throat doctor because she says I have a chronic sinus infection and it’s going to take a specialist to deal with it.  Fine.  I can do that.

Even after the doctor appointment, I was still feeling pretty good about the day.  I mean, I was surprised that Baby Monkey needed the steroids, but I knew I was still sick, so no huge surprise there.

Baby Monkey and I drove home and as we were on Route 80, singing away, I glanced at the spedometer.  Zero.  Actually, less than zero.  Like, the space below zero where the pointer rests when the car is turned off.  What?  Huh?  I’m obviously not stopped, and the car is obviously not turned off, but there it is.  Zero.

So, I freak a little, but then realize that the car is driving fine, the spedometer just isn’t working.  I pull into the right lane and slow down, because I generally have a bit of a lead foot, and that is when I can tell how fast I am going.  The thought of me driving without even having a clue as to my speed even made me a little nervous.

Baby Monkey and I continue on our way.  We get off at our exit and continue the drive home.

We get to a stop light where there are two lanes going each way.  We are in the left lane and there is a car to our right, in the right lane.  We stop.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, this SUV actually drives between my van and the car next to me, taking my sideview mirror with him.  No, there was no lane there.  He literally tried to squeeze his SUV between our two cars.

AND KEEPS ON DRIVING!

Let me tell you a little something about myself.

I have road rage.

Actually, I have Road Rage.  The depth of my Road Rage needs the capital letters.  I have put myself in some pretty dangerous situations before because of my Road Rage.  It is always a reaction to the bad driving of others, but it’s there. 

Since having the kids, I have tempered my rage to the extreme.  The kids would never know if someone cut me off, because I’ve learned to keep the rage bottled up inside when the kids are in the car.

So, here I am…Baby Monkey is in the car, but this guy didn’t just ruin my car, he put my baby in danger with his shenanigans.

I wasn’t having it.

So, I follow him.  And I start beeping. 

Perhaps beeping is not an accurate statement.

I just lay on the horn while following him. 

He keeps driving, but I notice that he’s not really going very fast, and I realize that he wasn’t really going very fast when he hit me either.

But, he won’t pull over and he won’t stop.

So, I continue to leave my forearm on the horn while following him.

Eventually, he slowly turns onto a side street.

I follow.

He continues to drive slowly until he finally just kinda peters to a stop.

I get out, phone in hand, and stand next to my car and wait.

After about a minute, he gets out.  Nicely dressed guy…probably my age or a little older.

I say, “Are you kidding me???”

He says, “Oh my God…I’m so sorry.  My brakes went out!  I couldn’t stop.  It was either try to go between you and the other car or hit you in the rear.”

So, immediately, I’m diffused a bit because I’m glad he tried to squeeze through rather than make a direct hit on the back of the van, which was exactly where Baby Monkey was sitting.

He explains again and so now I feel badly for the guy and I ask if he’s okay.  He was…just shaken up.

He gives me his insurance information and takes my name and number.  Good news…we have the same insurance company.  I’ll call tomorrow.

Bad news…if my car didn’t make me look like white trash before, it certainly does now, as it is going to take some duct tape to keep the mirror together until it gets fixed.

Good news.  Everyone is fine, especially this poor guy who must have been scared to death.

I got back in the car and Baby Monkey said, “Did that guy hit your car?” 

I said, “Yep.  You okay?”

He said, “Yep.  You okay?”

I said, “Yep.”

And we headed to the pharmacy.

Oh, did I forget to mention that I also accidentally erased all of the songs off of my iPhone this evening while trying to download a new song?  Yeah.  I did.

Next Monday, someone please remind me to just stay in bed.

November 29, 2009

Trading Spaces

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 9:13 pm
Tags: , ,

You ever see this show on TLC?  I used to be addicted to this show. 

Neighbors make over a room in each others homes and then there is a suprise reveal at the end. 

They have a $1,000 budget and they try to repurpose and reuse items, rather than buy new ones.

Well, we had a bit of a Trading Spaces weekend here.

Minus the celebrity host.

Minus the paint.

Minus the actual decorating.

But…we traded spaces. 🙂

So, let me tell you a story…

Once upon a time, there was a couple who got married.

In 2001, they had a baby girl.  She was beautiful.

When she was two, she decided she was a big girl and climbed out of her crib and landed right on her head. 

No worries…she was fine.

However, her parents decided it was time to buy her a bed.

As fate would have it, the very next day, the mother’s principal called her into her office and said that she was redecorating her daughter’s bedroom and would she need a twin bed for a little girl?

Um, yes…yes she did!

So, the parents went and picked it up and the little girl loved her big girl bed.

In 2004, the parents had a baby boy.  Ooooohhhh…what a serious little guy he was.  Still…oh so cute!

So, they pulled out the crib and in he went.

2006 rolls around and SURPRISE!  The parents have, yet another, baby boy!  Can’t even talk about this one.  Too much of a character to be believed.

So, the parents borrowed a crib from a relative and both boys were in cribs.

Until the Monkey in the Middle decided he wanted out.

Around the same time, the parents decided they wanted out of their old bedroom set (which was the set that the Mom had used growing up) so the moved the Monkey in the Middle into the Monkey Girl’s old bed (and slapped a cars poster over the flowery design) and moved the Monkey Girl into their old double bed, and then bought a second-hand bedroom set for themselves.

Fast foward to a few weeks ago.

Baby Monkey is definitely ready to get out of the crib, and the parents were looking high and low, trying to decide what to do about a bed for him.

They considered bunk beds and keeping the monkey boys sharing a room, but the idea of those monkeys climbing that ladder, probably in the middle of the night, kept them awake at night.  However, the bedroom wasn’t really big enough for two beds and two dressers.  There was always the option of turning the playroom back into a bedroom (it had been the nursery for Baby Monkey once upon a time) but they still needed a bed.

And, wouldn’t you know it…that week, the mother’s principal (same principal, but now they both work at a different school together…long story…but a good one!) said that she was redoing another bedroom and would they be in need of a queen size bed?

Well, yes they would!  So, they drove up to her home, once again, and loaded the beautiful bed into their truck.

So, this past weekend, the moving began, and here is where everyone sleeps tonight.

Monkey Girl, in her room in her beautiful new (to us) queen sized bed.

(We’ll need to get her a queen sized comforter…her double doesn’t quite fit, as you can see.  However, for now, it works!)

Monkey in the Middle in Monkey Girl’s old (the mothers way old) double bed in his own room.

(If you could just pretend that you don’t notice the lavender walls and pink valences, I’d appreciate it.  It used to be his sisters room before yet another episode of our family Trading Spaces…a more boyish color is coming…eventually.)

…and Baby Monkey is all tucked into his sisters, then his brothers, and now his big boy bed, in his own room.

(Ignore the grump face…he loves the bed and having his own bedroom.  However, right before I took the picture, I had to explain why he couldn’t have ice cream for dinner…I’m a tyrant, I know.)

So, thanks to the continuing  generosity of a friend, my children are all snug in their own beds…safe and warm.

Ahhhh…

November 28, 2009

Scenes from Thanksgiving

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 1:45 pm
Tags:

I hope all of you got to spend your holiday with those you love most. 

I certainly did.

So, here are some scenes from my family’s Thanksgiving celebration this year.  Just a great day to be surrounded by family and remember what it is that is most important.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

November 26, 2009

Real Baking

Ahhh…the day before Thanksgiving is always full of baking around here.  We are usually assigned to bring desserts to the family Thanksgiving celebration, so to work we go. 

Our first step was that we needed to decide what to make.  We had a package of Sugar Cookie mix in the pantry, so we decided that was a no brainer.  Usually, we bake from scratch, but since we’d be doing a bit of baking, we figured one mix wouldn’t hurt. 🙂

So, Sugar cookies from a mix, chocolate chip cookies from scratch, and then the kids decided we needed to have marble cake for Thanksgiving.  You know…remniscent of the marble cake with vanilla frosting that Squanto made for the Pilgrims on that first Thanksgiving of yore.

Once those decisions were made, it was time to wash our hands and get to work.

The end result?  Chocolate chip cookies, sugar cookies, and the traditional marble cake with vanilla frosting.

We’re also bringing dinner rolls and garlic mushrooms, but those aren’t half as fun to make. 🙂

Here’s hoping that you all enjoy a wonderful Thanksgiving and that you are surrounded by those you love most in the world.

November 24, 2009

Anatomy of a Breakdown

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 10:00 pm
Tags: , ,

Okay, perhaps this isn’t the correct title, because by the time we got to the point I’m going to write about here, the breakdown had occurred hours before.

I needed to pick Baby Monkey and Monkey Girl up early today, because the three of us had eye doctor appointments.  Monkey Girl and I just needed our checkups and to see if our prescriptions needed to be updated after 6 months (surprise…they do) and Baby Monkey was getting checked because of the “episodes” from earlier this year.

So, this was no skin off of Monkey Girls back, but it meant no nap for Baby Monkey. 

Let me say that again.

No…nap…for…Baby…Monkey.

Now, Baby Monkey is always adamant that he doesn’t need a nap, but trust me, he does.

So, we go.

It should come as no surprise to the regular “My Real Life” reader that the first words out of Baby Monkey’s mouth were “The eye doctor is boring.”  No surprise at all.

From there, it deteriorated quickly.  He didn’t want to get checked, squeezed his eyes shut tight, refused to follow the light and just forget about setting his chin in the strap to have the poor doctor look into his eyes.

It was not good.

However, after that, Monkey Girl and I had to go to the optician, as we were both in need of new prescriptions and my glasses broke on Saturday and I’ve been managing by not making any sudden movements with my head for a few days.

So, we go.

At the optician, he takes my glasses so he can fix them.  However, I’m legally blind without my glasses on, so I can no longer see exactly what Baby Monkey is doing.  I can hear things that sound quite breakable moving around, and can see a blob of movement kind of rolling on the floor, but I can’t quite identify what is happening.

I stumble over to him and try to scoop him up only to find that he has a few pairs of glasses in his hands.  I try to put them back, but I can’t see a darn thing and have no idea where they go.  We wound up being there for a half hour.  Longest half hour of my life.

We came home and my Dad was here with Monkey in the Middle.  They were playing a heated game of Scrabble Junior.  I started dinner and tried to manage Baby Monkey.  By this point, the tears and whining were just non-stop.  I knew he was tired, I knew he didn’t feel well, but I have never heard anything like the fuss this kid was making.

“When is dinner ready?” 
“In an hour.”

“I want my dinner hot and cold.”

“I don’t  know what that means.”

“It means I want it hot and cold and not in an hour, but now!”

“Well, it’s not going to be ready for an hour.”

“I want dinner now.”

And so on and so on and so on.

My Dad finished his game with Monkey in the Middle and beat a hasty retreat, after declining my offer for him to take Baby Monkey home with him.  I really can’t imagine why he declined!

So, no one had homework so the big kids decided to see if there were any new episodes of Phineas and Ferb on the DVR.  We have it set to record any new, first run episode.  There were two and the kids were thrilled.  They LOVE that show.  So do I.  I think it could be one of the most creative kids shows on television.

But, I digress.

So, I bring my laptop downstairs and sit with them on my bed while they watch.  Baby Monkey sits on my lap and decides that he wants to sit on my arms so I cannot type, as I try to do some work for school.

I try to explain why that won’t work and he’s not buying it.

I remind myself, “he’s tired, he doesn’t feel good.”

So, I put away the laptop and offer to just hold and snuggle him.

Nope…not good enough.

He’s back to wanting dinner immediately.  It’s only 4:30.  Dinner won’t be ready until 5:11.  Yes, that’s right.  5:11. 

I manage to get through the next 41 minutes, barely managing to keep myself in check as I deal with one ridiculous outburst after another.  If he wasn’t upset about one thing, it was another.  There was absolutely no making this kid smile.

5:11

Dinner.

We’re happy.

Right?

Wrong.

Apparently, dinner wasn’t “hot and cold” as he had wanted it to be, and the tears, which never really stopped, started all over again.

“I don’t like this dinner.  I won’t eat this.  Baked Macaroni and Cheese is boring!”

All of this with him throwing himself on the table, on the floor, across his chair. 

Oh the drama. 

However, he ate.  Eventually.

The big monkeys wanted apple pie for dessert.  Baby Monkey wanted grapes.

I’m totally down with that.

So, grapes it was.

Until I look over and see that he is peeling each grape and dropping the little, tiny peels on the floor around his chair.  He looked like he was sitting in a rose garden  with lovely rose petals surrounding him. 

Except they weren’t rose petals.

They were tiny pieces of grape peel.

They were smushy and gross.

Now, time to take the medicine.

Normally, Baby Monkey is a good little medicine taker.  Actually, all of the monkey s are pretty good with the meds.

We were at the doctor this morning and she said he must be taking Benadryl before bed, as he is really, really stuffy.

So, Benadryl it was.

Two guesses if he wanted to take it.

First one doesn’t count.

At that point, I decided to take out the camera.

I realized that no one would believe the drama surrounding this afternoon/early evening without some photographic evidence.

So, now I share with you how the medicine taking progressed.  This entire photo series took about 13 minutes.

And then, it happened.

Then the sun began to shine.

Of course, it’s an hour later now and he’s crying about something else, but I guess when you are three and you’ve missed your nap, really anything is something to cry about.

 I forget, sometimes, what it must be like to not have words for everything you are feeling.  I’m the word/emotion master.  I feel an emotion for everything and have all the words I need to describe them.  In detail.  To anyone who is willing to listen.

Baby Monkey?  Not quite as many words.  Oh, he’s a talker, but still, when the chips are down, he doesn’t always have the right words, and that’s got to be frustrating as heck.

So, the lesson for me today?

The kid needs a nap.

What?  You thought it would be deeper?

November 23, 2009

Pilgrim’s Progress

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 8:55 pm

So, on Sunday, I decided to take it easy.  I did some laundry and some light housework, but for the most part, am still working on building up my strength again.

The monkey boys were downstairs watching football on the big screen with Real Man and Monkey Girl was in her room, completely engrossed in a Harry Potter book.

I went to my room and picked up a book I’ve been wanting to get to, Salem Falls by Jodi Picoult.  I pulled out the comfy Giants blanket and started to read.

Before I knew it, I was out, and when I woke and turned over, it was to Baby Monkey, looking at me, with this face.

“Mommy!”  he exclaimed.  “I’m a pilgrim!”

Ah…what a way to wake up!

November 22, 2009

Sunday Someday Ramblings

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 3:07 pm

Someday…

I want to live in this cottage…

…and I want to take long walks on this path…

…and I want to own this bookstore…

Not today…but someday.

(all photos from flickr.com)

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