My Real Life

I always have to laugh on Super Bowl Sunday.

My Facebook feed alternates between people saying “I couldn’t care less about the big game…anyone else?” and others changing their profile pictures to match the colors of the team they are rooting for.

Me?

I’ll admit. I’m a fan.

I am probably more there for the commercials, but football is my favorite sport (that one of my kids is not playing) to watch. (No one tell Real Man or Monkey Boy or their hockey hearts will be broken)

I’m disappointed when it’s not a good game, and I’m thrilled when it’s close and exciting.

I’m a lifelong Browns fan (no comments from the peanut gallery) so I’m against any team from Pennsylvania. So for tonight, I’m a Chief’s fan.

I enjoy watching the game with friends and dissecting the commercials, the halftime show, and generally chatting, but I also enjoy watching the game in my jammies on my couch.

Tonight is going to be a jammies on the couch kind of night.

And since it’s that kind of night, I figured I’d share my thoughts on the show with all of you, which is something probably NONE of you need in your lives.

Prepare for some stream of consciousness writing, friends:

Disclaimer: Jersey Mike’s had a “miscommunication” over my order and I missed half of the “Pre-Kick” show.

And why is it the “Pre-Kick” show? What happened to “Pre-Game?”

What is this Eagles intro with the guy introducing them all in a club? I think I’m too old for this.

I can’t see Erin Andrews without thinking of her season of Dancing with the Stars…I think it was the best season I watched.

I was eating my sub when the Pizza Hut New Yorker pizza commercial came on, and I have never wanted to throw my dinner in the trash and get something else faster.

The Tillman Scholars…loved that tribute. Beautiful foundation.

Guardians of the Galaxy…I’m so in. I love those movies.

As a teacher, watching the intro with the kids chasing “the impossible dream” hit my heart. Every kid in my class has a dream. A great reminder for all us to support and encourage them all.

OMG. The Eagles are gonna score on their first possession, aren’t they? Are you kidding me? My brother-in-law, a lifelong Chiefs fan, must be furious right now.

Unreal.

Real Man just said “That doesn’t bode well.” I concur.

And, so far, I’m not winning the pool.

When they do a close-up of both teams right after the hut, (I don’t know what it’s called, it reminds me of when I played rugby in college. Have I ever told you guys that story? Anyway, it reminds me of the scrum and makes me smile from my rugby memories)

I can’t watch Ben Affleck in the Dunkin’ commercial after watching him get yelled at by JLo at the Grammy’s. Have you seen that video? She scolds him, he rolls his eyes and sits up and they both sit there, looking miserable and then he realizes they are on camera and slowly gets this slow, fake smile, and then she does the same. It’s amazing.

No thanks, avocados. I do NOT need to see everyone in their birthday suits.

Okay, back to the game.

In our house, we like Pacheco because he’s from Rutgers, Real Man’s alma mater.

Whoo-hoo!!!

I’m still not winning the pool.

You had better be kidding me right now with the new Indiana Jones movie. Indiana Jones is MY FAVORITE. I’m not even paying attention to the eTrade babies right now because I am so excited about the new Indiana Jones flick!!! I know where I’ll be on June 30.

Wait, that was an alcohol commercial for Remy Martin? I don’t get it. I don’t see the connection. But, I’m not the target audience, too I guess that’s okay.

Bradley Cooper and his Mom were pretty adorable.

Clueless. Yes. please.

Okay, listen. Real Man and Tiny are just talking through the commercials, friends. This is not okay.

Real Man just asked the question “How many houses in the US do you think are watching the Super Bowl in a room with a still decorated, still lit Christmas tree?”

I don’t know the answer, but I know it’s at least one. Yes sir, it’s at least one.

And I don’t want to talk about it.

I wonder how many people just won money for the ball hitting the goal post. People will bet on anything.

Man, Serena Williams is getting paid this Super Bowl!

Unbelievable. Eagles score again.

And I still have no numbers in the pool.

Just realized that so far, there have been no Coca-Cola or Doritos or Budweiser commercials. I feel like those are usually an early staple in the Super Bowl. Maybe later.

I’m not sure how I feel about a Rhianna half time show. I’ll be honest, I haven’t listened to a lot of current music lately. Lots of my Spotify playlist. However, I do love a good show and I hear she puts on a great one.

I always love Steve Martin

Okay, as a diabetic, the Dexcom commercial Is intriguing.

Will Ferrell and electric cars, going through the different movies was fun to watch, but I’m not ready for an EV.

I wonder, though. Are people influenced by advertising? Like, do commercials really make people buy a product? I am certainly moved to watch a movie or a show that I see an ad for, but as for buying a product? I’m more swayed by someone who has tried it telling me if it’s worth the money. That’s why I like TikTok. Okay, it’s not the only reason I like TikTok, but I do appreciate watching people actually try things out that I was thinking of buying.

But that’s an awful lot of money to spend on an ad if it really isn’t going to make someone buy the product. I guess just putting the product in someone’s mind is the actual goal.

But how often do we say “I LOVE that commercial! Now, what are they selling again?”

Totally defeats the purpose.

Oh, HELLO!!! Scoop and Score!!!

That twitch on the last play just changed the game!

I’m still not winning the pool.

Turbo Tax. Please don’t do that to Safety Dance.

I just asked Baby Monkey (who turned 17 yesterday) if he could pre-heat the oven for our half-time snacks. He came back in the room and asked why I’m boiling a million dollars.

Took me a second and then I realized he was referring to the pot that still holds the eggs I boiled today for my lunches during the week.

Because, how about the price of eggs! Stupid avian flu.

I need something to happen here for me to win the halftime pool. I’m not holding my breath.

Eagles are going to score again before the half.

Yeah, I didn’t even finish typing that sentence before Hurts ran it across the goal line.

That wasn’t what I needed to win the pool.

Hmmm. I love my iPhone, but being able to fix your pictures makes the Google Pixel look mighty attractive.

I’m just saying, I’ve never gotten my hand stuck in a canister of Pringles.

Aw, Damar Hamlin!

That was a scary, scary thing. The human body, man. It’s so amazing and yet, at just the right moments, so fragile.

Oh no. Mahomes is limping off the field. Is that the game, folks? They just did a replay and he was tackled by the ankle, it seems, and now on the sidelines he is hurting. That poor guy.

Okay, Doritos. Jack Harlow. I liked it. Thanks for showing up.

Oh man, of course the puppy commercial comes on when Real Man is out of the room. The monkeys and I have been trying to convince him for YEARS that we need a dog. I just miss having a dog. It’s been 19 years since we’ve had one. Too long.

Nope. That’s not a catch by Smith, but we think they are going to give it to him.

Huh! We stand corrected!

You guys, it’s 8:13 and I have yawned three times in the past 5 minutes. AND, it’s a school night.

Once my potato skins are out of the oven, I’ll perk up.

No halftime pool win over here.

I think I’d like to take a cruise. There’s something a little claustrophobic about the idea, but at the same time, just being out there, being forced to relax, being fed all day. I’m in. Like, really in.

Are you kidding me? Is this a dating show for FARMERS???

I love farms and ranches. I have always loved them. And now a dating show set there? I may have to check this one out.

Wait, there was more than one Creed movie? I’m so out of the movie game.

Okay, the floating platforms? I dig it.

Tiny just said that he felt some of the dancing was inappropriate. 😂

Good show! Visually stunning and great music.

Ooh, loved the commercial for women in football.

I have now eaten the equivalent of two potatoes. I’m ready for the second half.

I wish we had those ShopRite chocolate brownies with the chocolate frosting and sprinkles on them.

They are THE BEST.

Nice run, Chiefs! And go Rutgers alum!

I never thought I’d want to see a movie about sneakers. But I will totally see that movie.

Wait, that’s not a catch, right? I mean, I’d love the touchdown, but is that a catch?

OMG! It’s a touchdown!

Nope. Not a catch, not a touchdown. Don’t play with my emotions, Super Bowl.

Bud Light. That counts as Budweiser. So, unless I’ve dozed off somewhere along the way, I’m only missing Coca-Cola in my Super Bowl commercial trifecta.

Guys…I’m so tired. My eyes are closing, but we’re not even close to being done yet.

I was up late with Baby Monkey, last night, watching movies and then was up this morning for piano lessons. So, tonight, 9:00 was my limit, apparently.

Love Dave Grohl.

What’s with all the QR codes? The last thing I want to do is pull out my phone and scan something. Let’s stop making tv interactive.

Hmmm…if the Eagles could get a safety I could win it all.

But then the Chiefs would lose and the Eagles would win. Ick.

Still…maybe it’s now sorta “Go Eagles?”

Nah. I’ll stay true to the Chiefs.

Was that just a Scientology commercial?????

Nice job, Chiefs.

Okay, this commercial isn’t helping Real Man want a dog. At all.

Oh, thank goodness…they got the puppy a puppy!

Rockstars…such a cute commercial!!!

I’ve perked up a bit and am hopeful for this fourth quarter.

Or maybe I’m just excited because I know it’s almost bedtime.

This is 51.

Do you think Mahomes is in, like, so much pain, and is just playing through it so he can see the game through? Do you think the trainers realize? I feel like they have to know how bad the damage is. Can they, in good conscience, or even legally, allow him to play if he is really hurt? Do you think his Mom is watching and yelling for him to get off the field before he permanently damages himself?

That was an AMAZING punt return!!! I thought he was going all the way! GO CHIEFS!!!

Hang on…how adorable are those Chiefs, before the play, dancing around each other in a circle?

Guys, our tv just started losing the signal. We have a big circle circling on our screen. Seriously?

Screen came back, apparently there was a touchdown.

And a safety?

OMG. A Tie.

Makes sense. They have the exact same stats for the whole season. This is the most evenly matched SuperBowl I think I’ve ever seen.

It’s gonna come down to a game winning field goal.

And guess what?

I’m not gonna win the pool.

Nice run, Mahomes. But I see you limping after that run.

Do you think John Travolta is doing that T-Mobile commercial now because Olivia Newton John refused to do Grease related commercials and he couldn’t do them without her before? And John Travolta and the guys from Scrubs? Interesting match.

People love cooking competition shows.

Not me.

I don’t like cooking, myself, so I am definitely not going to be watching other people cook. And get yelled at while cooking. That’s just an all-around no thanks for me.

Winning field goal was kicked, the clock is running down and the Chiefs just won the SuperBowl.

I did not win the pool.

And now I’m going to bed.