My Real Life

I made someone mad today.

I went grocery shopping, and it was the first trip I’ve made where I haven’t had to pick anything up for my father-in-law, who we lost last week.

I was definitely in my head as I drove from one store to the other (I shop in two stores to save some money) and I must have been driving too slowly for the driver behind me.

They slammed on their horn, long and loud and then swerved to pass me.

However, we were pulling up to a red light at the time, so they wound up idling right next to me.

I inched up a little so our windows were parallel and looked in the car.

The woman started frantically gesticulating while mouthing (I assume she was yelling, but I could only see her mouth move) something like “Why can’t you drive? You’re so slow! What’s wrong with you?”

Her anger seemed disproportionate to the situation.

So, I simply smiled, raised an eyebrow and mouthed back “Really?”

And, man, did that piss her off.

She starts gesturing, pushing her hair back from her face, like model, in what I assume was a dig at me, like I thought I was so special. She made like, a “La-Di-Dah” gesture with her hands and then continued to act like I was somehow pretending to be better than her.

Friends, at the time of me writing this, I haven’t showered in two days. My hair is greasy, I’m wearing the same clothes I wore yesterday. I’m exhausted and have bags under my eyes. In no way, shape, or form do I look like someone who thinks they are too good to follow the rules of the road.

She then started mouthing all sorts of things that I didn’t understand, and then started hugging her shoulders and mouthing “OOOh, I’m so scared! I’m so scared!” and making faces at me.

All the while, I just sat there, watching her, smiling.

She was SO mad, at this point, and I noticed a little shadow in the back seat, so I assume she also had a child in the car with her, watching this all go down. At one point she turned to say something to them, so I know there was someone back there, I just don’t know who.

But, I couldn’t muster up the energy to be angry back. And I didn’t want to be. I didn’t want her child to be afraid, and I just wasn’t angry, despite her theatrics.

The past few days, the mantra has been that “peace and harmony” is the way to go, and I recalled a story that my husband told at the repast, following his father’s funeral, two days ago.

In discussing how even tempered his father had been, he said that the most scandalous thing that his father had said was when someone cut him off in traffic and he came out with (imagine this in a thick, Jersey City accent) “Aw geez…what a turkey driver!”

And as that story went through my head, I just started to laugh. I laughed and laughed at the antics in the car next to me, and I laughed at the memory of that beautiful man saying “turkey driver” as the biggest insult he could think of.

The light turned green and she zipped through the intersection and way ahead of me and that was the end of our interaction.

The point of this story?

Be gracious, friends.

Be patient, be kind.

I absolutely could have been someone who was distracted with their phone or someone who wasn’t paying attention to the road, or who was just a bad driver. I could definitely have earned her anger.

But, I also could have been exactly what I was. Someone who was sad and lost in their thoughts and not driving exactly the way this woman wanted me to drive.

And for all I know, she had just gotten a call and was on the way to the hospital, or was trying to get to someone quickly who needed help.

Don’t meet anger with anger.

Just be kind. We’ve all got stuff going on.

Just be kind.