My Real Life

I’m a pretty bright woman.

I’m never the smartest in the room, but I consider myself to be fairly intelligent.

And yet, there are many moments in my day when I realize that I 100% do not understand how some things work.

I share this, because I can’t be alone in my head scratching. I know that there are other people out there that wonder the same things, but maybe just don’t say them out loud.

Because, a lot of the world is able to be deciphered.

But some of it? Not in a million years.

Take backflips, for example.

I have looked up the physics of backflips. I have watched slow motion videos where people have explained how to engage the body in such a floppy, twisty feat, and I have, myself, been a gymnast.

And yet…

The backflip? I don’t get it.

If I jump up and throw myself backwards, at best, I’m just landing flat on my back.

At worst, I have the correct arch in my back, but have landed directly on my head and broken my neck.

I don’t get it.

And people do it with such ease. They just jump and throw themselves backwards, and some people don’t even use their hands!!!

I swear there is some type of superpower involved in a backflip.

And if we are talking about things that don’t make any sense being in the air, let’s take a moment to discuss airplanes.

Like…what?

I love to fly and wanted to become a pilot when I was young. But my love of flight and airplanes never translated into an understanding of the physics behind it.

I’ve looked it up on numerous occasions and found the explanation.

Planes fly so fast, and the wind is going so forcefully over the wings and down that it creates lift which counteracts the weight of the plane.

I read the words, I understand what they are saying, but I don’t get it at all.

At all.

A plane is about 90,000 pounds. How is wind able to keep that afloat? That’s 90,000 POUNDS!

If airplanes all had rocket boosters underneath them, keeping them up, like some really high hoverboards, it would make more sense to me.

But nope. Just a smooth underside and little tiny wheels.

It’s not going to stop me from wanting to fly, but it certainly makes my head hurt to think about.

And what are Bitcoin and NFT’s?

My class and I have watched so many student news programs about these two things, and I watch and soak in every word. And then I look at the kids and ask “What did they just say?”

I mean, I even googled the definition. Do you know what that jerk said to me in response?

“a type of digital currency in which a record of transactions is maintained and new units of currency are generated by the computational solution of mathematical problems, and which operates independently of a central bank”

Excuse me? That is supposed to be a clarifying definition???

So, I googled “Bitcoin for Dummies” which brought me to a Bitcoin cheat sheet.

The simplified definition they gave me?

“There is no Bitcoin, actually. There’s nothing tangible, of course, but there’s not even some kind of digital representation of a coin. Rather, Bitcoin is represented by records of Bitcoin transactions in the Bitcoin “ledger,” which is stored in a “blockchain” ― something else that few people understand”

Oooohhhh….yes. Now I completely and totally understand.

C’mon, people. At this point I think it is just some made up thing and that a whole bunch of people are in on the joke and are just laughing at the rest of us. Or me. They are just laughing at me.

And as for how land line telephones, cell phones, wifi, and internet work?

I got nothing.

Make me feel better, friends. Tell me something that doesn’t make sense to you, even though it’s been explained to you over and over.