So, I’m a little creeped out, at times, by the targeted ads that Facebook shares with me.
I’m a little curious what, in my shopping history, has persuaded Facebook to show me an ad for Handerpants.
However, I’m not the least bit surprised when I see ads for weight loss products.
So, it wasn’t a shock when ads for Zaggora Atomica Hot Pants started showing up on the right side of my screen.
For months and months, when I would log in to Facebook, there it would be.
The ad for Zaggora Hot Pants with Thermofit Technology that would help me burn more calories.
Pants that burn calories.
Uh-huh.
Sure.
But one day, I was weak.
I’m not sure exactly what it was that pushed me over the edge, but I finally licked the Cheetos dust from my fingers, moved the mouse, and clicked on the hot pants.
I read what the website had to say and I was intrigued.
Convinced?
No.
But intrigued enough to click around some more.
As it turns out, they were having a huge sale and I had a Visa gift card burning a hole in my pocket.
So, I ordered them.
They feel a lot like a scuba suit.
Kinda like I’m wearing styrofoam pants.
But, if you wear them for 96 hours straight, say, like, during the season of never ending snow days, they become quite comfortable and almost like a second skin.
Okay, I guess anything becomes like a second skin if you wear it for 96 hours straight, but you see what I’m saying.
I started to feel like I was losing inches and then I wondered if I was losing weight, as well.
So, I hopped on the scale.
Nothing.
So, I went back to the website to register my complaint.
And found this:
“Both studies confirm the finding that exercising in Zaggora Hotwear can increase calorie burn.
The UB Study tested 13 subjects in Zaggora HotPants and 13 in standard active wear and found that exercising in HotPants can increase energy expenditure during exercise by an average of 11%.
The ETS Study first tested 30 subjects in Zaggora Hotwear and 30 subjects in standard active wear and found that exercising in Zaggora Hotwear can lead to an increase in energy expenditure as compared to standard active wear of 6% on average.
When testing a group of 10 subjects running at a constant speed, subjects in Zaggora Hotwear burned 9.7% more calories than subjects in standard exercise clothing during 30 minutes of exercise.”
Wait?
I have to exercise in them?
I can’t just lounge around and feel the burn?
I altered the plan and did some exercise while wearing the hotpants.
I definitely sweated more in the areas the pants were covering.
And afterward, my jeans were a little looser, but I really don’t know if it’s because I lost any inches or if it’s because after being that compressed for that long, it takes awhile for your organs and skin to go back to their original positions.
I guess if I really were serious about losing inches, I’d run a 5k every morning, like Real Man does.
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