My Real Life

April 4, 2013

Mom on Auto Pilot

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 6:00 am

As a human, there are things that I do without thinking.

Blinking, breathing, digesting, etc.

As a Mom, there are things that I do without thinking, as well.

Sometimes it works out well.

Other times, not so much.

Whenever I am walking through a parking lot or crossing the street, I stretch my hand out behind me, reaching for a small hand to hold.

Always.

Even when I am alone or with my 12 year old, who really doesn’t need to hold my hand to cross the street, but is a big ole’ lovey and always holds my hand, anyway.

In New York City, I made the mistake of doing this while standing in a crowd waiting to cross and had a homeless man reach out to grab on.

There wasn’t enough Purell in the world that day, my friends.

I think it’s a combination of both the Mother and  the teacher in me that has me always asking kids (who don’t belong to me) to use their inside voice, or found me, on my honeymoon in Disney, telling someone else’s child that maybe they could pick up the bottle cap they had been kicking (very noisily and for the past five minutes as they walked in front of us) and throw it away.

I believe I also, on that trip, told a child ,who was in front of us in line, to be nice to his sister.

Here are some other auto-pilot Mommy reflexes I have:

I ask my 8th graders if they need to use the potty.

I have tried to cut the meat for people I have gone out to dinner with.

I have licked my thumb and reached toward the face of an adult to wipe something off of their cheek.

What about you…

If you are a parent, are there any things you find yourself doing on auto-pilot?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!  Leave a comment below!

—-

Don’t forget…Mother’s Day is just around the corner!

Looking for the perfect gift for that special someone?

Want to give the gift of laughter?

Buy them I Just Want to Pee Alone!

It’ll make my Mother’s Day AND theirs!

April 3, 2013

The OogieLoves…aka Did That Really Just Happen?

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 6:00 am
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So, there was a period of time, last year, when the monkeys and I saw just about every kids movie that was released.

In the previews for every one of those movies was a trailer for a film called “The OogieLoves.”

The kids were transfixed, not because they thought the movie looked even remotely watchable, but because they were sure that their cousin was in the preview.

She wasn’t, yet, somehow, the logic that we probably would have been notified if their cousin was starring in a film escaped their brains, and so they would wait, on the edge of their seats for that preview to come on the screen.

The result was that they knew every word of that trailer and could be found, at home only, humming the theme song.

On one thing, however, they all agreed.

It appeared to be the stupidest movie ever created.

My kids, who want to see every movie, never once asked to actually go see “The OogieLoves.”

They just enjoyed the preview.

Fast forward to this past weekend.

As is the norm, the monkeys and I were watching Dr. Who before we went to bed.

However, we were up to the episode, “Blink” which features these aliens that appeared to be statues of weeping angels, and I gotta tell you, it was a pretty freaky episode.

Needless to say, one of the monkeys (who shall remain nameless, because I promised not to identify which monkey it was) wound up in our bed for most of the night.

The next day, he or she kept asking “What if I can’t sleep again tonight?”

Real Man and I gave him or her a lot of different techniques for thinking of something else, but that child was really nervous about laying in a bed with visions of sleeping angels running through his or her head.

I had to run to the grocery store to pick up a few things, and while I was waiting in line, I noticed the Redbox kiosk.

Right smack in the middle of the display of movies was…”The OogieLoves.”

I snickered, thinking, “Seriously…who would ever actually rent that?”

But, as I waited while the elderly man in front of me paid his bill of $10.13 with pennies, I started to consider.

“Someone at home needs a distraction from those damn weeping angels.  The OogieLoves could be the ticket.”

“But someone might see me renting it.  My rep will be forever tainted.”

“Do you really want to be clutching to the edge of your bed for a second night in a row while Real Man and “the monkey” take up all the space?”

“The OogieLoves” won.

I paid for my goods, put my bags in the cart and made my way toward the kiosk.

I pulled my hood up over my head and snapped my coat up to my chin, hiding my face the best I could.

I quickly went through the motions, swiped my card, and out came the movie.

I tossed it in a grocery bag and home I went.

I’m pleased to say, it worked.  No more bad dreams about weeping angels.

That’s pretty much the only thing I’m pleased to say about this film.

I’m not going to write a review, because as I was writing this post, I actually googled “OogieLove reviews” and among the links stating “OogieLoves…worst film ever” I came across this review from the Washington Post.

Perfectly described…I urge you to read it.

As for me, I’m just going to share with you the names of the celebrities who made cameo appearances and let you draw your own conclusions from the list.

Toni Braxton

Cary Elwes

Jamie Pressley

Christopher Lloyd

Chloris Leachman

Chazz Palminteri

Discuss.

When the movie finished, Monkey Girl turned to me and said “Did that really just happen?”

Yes, my dear.  Yes, it did.

April 2, 2013

Boys and Trains

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 6:00 am
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Last week was Spring Break, and originally, my plan had been to take the monkeys into the city to see the Harry Potter exhibit before it heads out of town in April.

However, at the last minute, Monkey Girl and I were invited to go into the city to see “Annie” on Broadway.

We said ‘yes’ and spent last Wednesday in NYC with a good friend of Monkey Girl’s and her mom.

We had a blast.

Julia and her friend are two peas in a pod, and I was able to overcome (I hope) my general social wonkiness and appear to be a semi-normal person.

However, the trip in reminded me just how long the train ride is, and thinking about Tiny on that train for that long made me begin to get a little tic.

I talked about it with Julia’s friends mom, who I think I can safely now call my friend, and she shared with me something she and her husband used to do when her kids were little.

They’d take the train just a few stops toward the city to a town that had a park and a playground at the train station.

They’d play for awhile, get some lunch in town, and then head home.

My boys are always asking to go on the train, and we haven’t taken them, except for once, a few years ago, and this seemed like a great solution and a nice, little adventure.

Also, kids ride for half price and Tiny was free, so the cost wasn’t prohibitive, which is always a concern when you have four kids.

So, Saturday morning, we woke up, told everyone to get dressed and headed to the car.

Now Saturday morning happened to be the same day that this happened:

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…so, before hitting the train station, I picked up a few papers at the store.

The cashier already had seen the front page when I walked in and said “Oh my gosh!  I saw this was you and I’ve been telling everyone, ‘She comes in here all the time!'”

I. Felt. Like. A. Rock. Star.

I bought five copies and off we went.

When we pulled into the parking lot of the train station, the boys were beyond excited, but were a little apprehensive, as well.

Baby Monkey was concerned that the train might be too loud.

Monkey in the Middle was sure we didn’t know what time it was coming, that I didn’t buy the right tickets, that we wouldn’t be able to sit together, that we would miss our stop, etc.

That’s traveling with Monkey in the Middle, though.

I had clued in Monkey Girl the night before, so she helped us out with assuring the guys it would all be okay, and, as you might imagine, Baby Monkey just kept asking “Where we goin’?”

The train came, we got on and the kids loved it.

I’m not sure what it is about my boys and modes of transportation.

Cars, trucks, trains.

They love them all.

This was no exception.

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They looked out the window, marveled when the conductors voice would tell us the next stop, watched the ticket takers with fascination, and couldn’t believe how quickly we made it from town to town on the train.

And Tiny continued to ask “Where we goin’?”

We got to the correct station, hopped off and hit the park.

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We played for what felt like forever, and then decided to have lunch.

We hit a bagel shop, got fruit, bagels and sandwiches and had a great lunch.

Headed back to the train station, twenty minutes early, where I told everyone to go to the bathroom, but no one had to go.

Five minutes before the train was to arrive, guess what?

Monkey in the Middle suddenly HAD to go.

We ran for it and he made it.

We got back just as they were making the announcement that we were on the wrong platform, so we booked it up the stairs, over the bridge and back down on the other side just as the train pulled in.

The ride home was much quieter:

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Tiny didn’t even have time to utter “Where we goin’?” before he fell fast asleep.

Nice little trip, half day, good times.

It was a nice reminder that you don’t always  have to go whole hog when trying to do something special for the kids.

They appreciate the effort of anything, and something as basic as this can turn into an adventure they’ll never forget.

(Even if the thing they’ll never forget is the woman who was pulled over by two cops, taken out of her car, and the put in the back of the police car after a very wobbly walk on a straight line.  Real Police action beats any other adventure any day.)

 

April 1, 2013

What Once Was Old is New

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 6:00 am
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When I was a little girl, my Grandpa bought me a dollhouse.

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I loved that dollhouse.

There was a special dollhouse store in a town about twenty minutes away, and on Sundays, my Dad would sometimes drive Erin and I or Gail and I over there, where I would purchase new furniture or new dolls for my doll family.

I decorated that house over and over again.

As an only child, I played with those dolls into the wee hours of the night, long after I, and the other neighborhood kids, had been called inside because the streetlights were on.

I would often pretend I was Susan from my all-time favorite children’s book, Big Susan.

(If you haven’t read this book, you must.  If you have a young daughter, grand-daughter or niece, it’s a beautiful gift and a story that stands the test of time.)

I loved that dollhouse.

However, as children do, I grew up.

My parents moved when I was in college, and they brought the dollhouse with them, and for the past 22 years, the dollhouse has sat in their basement.

Unused.  Collecting dust.  Unloved.

Until today.

My Mom brought the dollhouse to our house, today.

My Mom and Monkey Girl toiled on the back deck, using bleach to clean up that house, bringing it back to life.

The monkeys immediately went to work, putting in the furniture, decorating with their own style and flair.

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I do have to say that they are NOT decorating it the way I had it, and it is taking every single fiber of my being not to let my control-freak nature out and tell them that that’s not where the baby sleeps, and the piano doesn’t belong in the attic, and the kitchen should not be in that tiny front room, but so far, I’ve kept my mouth shut and have been very supportive.

They’ll go to bed soon.

I’ll redecorate then.

I love to hear them down there, decorating, playing, and loving what once was mine to love.

There’s nothing sadder than an old toy, forgotten and unloved.

I’ve seen the Toy Story movies.

I know of what I speak.

There is nothing more wonderful than an old toy rediscovered and loved.

And while I was joking about redecorating while they are asleep, I have a feeling that when I am in the basement, every now and then, I might just take a turn with the dollhouse and feel the wonder of being little again and letting my imagination soar.

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