So, Monkey Girl got a text from a friend inviting her to spend the night.
She was in church when the text came, so she didn’t get it until she got home.
She texted back a request for a little more information, like times, etc. but her friend didn’t text back for awhile.
Monkey Girl is a child of the information and instant gratification age, so she immediately decided that her friend must have already invited someone else.
I immediately told her to be patient, but, of course, that didn’t make her feel better.
So, I started with the stories.
Erin, Kim and Michaela can tell you, my history with making up nonsensical stories to explain things goes way back.
Monkey Girl: I think she invited someone else and doesn’t know how to tell me.
Me: Maybe, she’s in church now and her ring tone is a Justin Bieber song and she didn’t have her phone on vibrate and in the middle of church, you texted her back and suddenly “Swag, swag, swag on you, chillin’ by the fire while we eatin’ fondue,” went ringing out through the church and so her parents confiscated her phone for a week.
Monkey Girl: Or, maybe she invited someone else and she doesn’t know how to tell me.
Me: Maybe, just maybe, when you texted her back, she was taking her dog for a walk, and her ringtone is the sound of a small mouse and it went off just as a hawk was circling overhead and the hawk heard it, swooped down and snatched it right out of her hand.
Monkey Girl: Or, maybe she invited someone else and she doesn’t know how to tell me.
Me: Maybe she got your text and went to ask her Mom for some more details, but her Mom is in the shower and in HER house, no one bothers the Mom when she’s in the shower.
(That one got a big laugh out of Real Man)
Monkey Girl: Or, maybe she invited someone else and she doesn’t know how to tell me.
Me: Maybe, she had a problem with biting her nails and she underwent hypnosis to stop and her ringtone is the trigger to undo the hypnosis, and when you texted, the ringtone went off, undid the hypnosis and she went on a nail biting frenzy and actually chewed her fingers off so she can’t text you back.
Monkey Girl: You can imagine her response.
Me: Maybe, she was in the car when you texted her back and her ringtone is a digital signal sound, and as your text came in, the digital sound went off, but she happened to be driving by a nuclear power plant and the digital sound deactivated their computerized safety controls and the plant went into nuclear meltdown and they were stopped by military police and her phone was confiscated.
Monkey Girl: Maybe.
I was looking on CNN for the nuke meltdown, but couldn’t find it. In light of this, her friend musta been walking her dog while wearing those ridiculously tight jeans that kids (these days) wear. While bending over to pick up her dog’s poo, the phone got ejected from her back pocket end wedged in a tree. The force of the impact was so great, it split the tree and caused her to go running in a panic to avoid the tree. When she stopped running she didn’t know which tree the phone was lost in. So not only does she not have her phone, but also doesn’t have her contacts.
So the moral of the story is we should all wear loose fitting jeans with belts. I’m hopeful this fashion will come back before my daughters get to dating age.
Comment by Jeff — February 18, 2013 @ 7:14 am |
LOL, Jeff! Unfortunately (fortunately), that one wouldn’t have worked. Her friends, thank goodness, make pretty smart clothing choices. 🙂 But A+ for creativity and knowledge of middle school fashion!
Comment by abozza — February 18, 2013 @ 8:32 am |
There is of course the remote possibility of alien abduction. I was reading that on a rote part of Saturn there is a gang of aliens that are abducting cell phones for use on Mars’s green market.
Comment by Jeff — February 18, 2013 @ 7:22 am |
Now this one I can get on board with!
Comment by abozza — February 18, 2013 @ 8:32 am |
Rote is alien for remote
Comment by Jeff — February 18, 2013 @ 7:23 am |
Amazing what you think of when you’re on the train in the am. 5am is way too early to start a two hr train ride, but it’s plenty of time to think of crazy stories.
Comment by Jeff — February 18, 2013 @ 9:13 am |
So, I gotta ask, did her friend call her back? Lol.
Comment by Kim — February 18, 2013 @ 2:27 pm |
Ha! Yes…she texted back and Monkey Girl went and had a blast. 🙂
Comment by abozza — February 18, 2013 @ 4:47 pm |
Excellent, glad she had fun!
Comment by Kim — February 18, 2013 @ 5:29 pm