My Real Life

1. What did you wear to prom? Include a picture if possible.

That, my friends, is Real Man and Yours Truly at the Junior Prom.

We. Were. So. Young.

2. Would you rather be on the biggest loser or a food eating challenge?

Uh, since the question isn’t which do I NEED to be on, I’ll go for food eating challenge.

Preferably a chocolate and peanut butter eating contest.

Hmmm…the peanut butter might slow me down.

Okay, just a chocolate eating contest.

Yeah, that’s the ticket.

3. What is your favorite refreshing summer drink?

If I could drink anything I want?

A massive cup of red Kool Aid that I’d drink until I had a red mustache and then I’d run through the wall, leaving a hole the shape of my body…or in the shape of an awesome, enormous glass Kool Aid pitcher that no one I knew ever actually owned.

Since I can’t?

Crystal Light Raspberry Lemonade with lots and lots of ice.

I like a summer drink to be cold, cold, cold.

4. What was your first car, and what did you call it?

My first car was a 1985 Nissan Pulsar.

I called her Isabella.

It was black.  It was sporty.  It was way used when I got it, but it was new to me and I loved it.

Then, I crashed it.

Sold her for scrap.

And that was the end of Isabella.

Until I got my next car…a not-so-sporty Oldsmobile Achieva.

And I named her Isabella, too.

5. What’s one thing your child or spouse does that sends you over the edge? 

Debating whether or not I should answer this, because someone, in this house, might read it and then purposefully do whatever it is I write, just to push me over the edge.

Let’s see…

It drives me batty when:

-I’ve just finished emptying the sink and loading up the dishwasher, when someone walks over and puts a dirty dish in the sink.  Did you not notice what I’ve been doing for the past ten minutes?  Did it cross your mind, as you walked AROUND the open dishwasher door to pop your dirty dish in there?  And then, when they say “Oh, I didn’t know if the dishwasher was clean or dirty,” I think to myself, “Uh, so check.  And if it’s clean, empty it.  And if it’s dirty, drop in your dish.”

-I’ve been in a room for 20 minutes, and as soon as I get up, stretch, and walk out of the room, someone calls my name and calls me back to the room to tell me something.  Seriously?  I sat there for 20 freaking minutes and it was like I wasn’t in the room.  NOW you have something to tell me?

-I have to repeat myself.  I have serious issues with repeating myself and I have a husband with some serious hearing loss in one ear and a child who I suspect also has some hearing loss.  Good times.  By the third time, it takes all my control not to scream whatever it was I was saying at the top of my lungs.  “I SAID I LOVE YOU!!!  THERE!  ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?”

-I’m anticipating someone’s need and I am up, doing something like pouring someone a glass of milk, and as I walk over to the table with it, they say “Mom…can you please pour me a glass of milk?”  It seriously makes me want to just dump the glass of milk on the floor.

-Someone eats the last of some treat we have in the house and leaves the box or container in the pantry or fridge, and I think about having that treat all day long, and then, when I get home and go to have it, I pull out the box and its empty.  Kinda makes me want to be a food hoarder with secret stashes.