My Real Life

April 9, 2012

Frozen – Part 1

Filed under: Writing — Amy @ 6:00 am
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So, I’m taking the leap today, and starting my 1st Monday Mini-Novella series.  This particular story is one that’s been rolling around in my head since October.  I hope you enjoy it.

Frozen – Part 1

She closed the door behind her and methodically locked each of the five locks that spanned its length, her fingers shaking almost uncontrollably.

She eased her feet out of her shoes and moved them to the mat, watching the snow turn to liquid and begin to form small pools on the fibers, squinting to see if the water was pure, or if there were any traces of blood to be seen.

Have to come back to that later, she thought to herself. 

She unwound the scarf from her neck, and took a deep breath at the cool air that assaulted her skin, which had been kept warm beneath it’s wool.  Her fingers fumbled with the buttons on her coat, still nearly frozen from the blizzard outside.  As she hung up her coat, she caught sight of a tiny smudge of red on the sleeve.  She pulled it back from the coat rack and walked, her feet softly padding on the carpet, to the kitchen.  She opened the french doors to reveal the washer and dryer, opened the lid and dropped in the coat.  She then undressed herself, dropping all of her clothes into the machine.  She poured in the soap, turned the dials, closed the lid and stood, naked, with her hands resting on the machine, head hanging low and choked back a sob.

Her body convulsed in a massive shiver and when it had passed through every limb, she lifted her head and walked, in a daze, to the bathroom.  She turned the hot water handle as far as it would go and stepped in.  For a minute or two, she stood, letting the water scald her skin, watching it turn pink, knowing this wasn’t the way to warm up skin that was nearly frozen.  Knowing that she should gradually warm the skin so as not to do any permanent damage.  Yet, knowing that it would take water much, much hotter than this to begin to thaw what was frozen inside, far below her, now red, skin.

Finally, she added some cold to the formula and as the temperature abated, she reached for the soap and began to lather her body.  Her arms, her legs, her chest, her face, yet always, always returning to her hands.  Scrubbing and rinsing, scrubbing and rinsing.

It had started out as a good night.

One of the first good nights she had experienced in a long time.

She wasn’t sure what had made her say “yes” when her cubicle mate had asked her, again, to go out with her and some other colleagues.

In the past, the “no” had always been reflex.  Yet, tonight, she paused and somehow managed to say “yes.”

And she had been glad she went.

Not happy.

Happy wasn’t for her, she knew.

Happy had been ripped from her vocabulary, from her reality, years ago.

But she had been glad.

She listened and smiled as her colleagues teased each other and laughed and drank and told stories.  They had an obvious camaraderie and she was somewhat comfortable in their presence, something else that hadn’t happened in awhile.

She should have known.

The moment she let down her guard…well, she just should have known.

She stepped out of the shower and vigorously toweled off.  She wrung out her hair, flipped back her head, wrapped the towel around her body, securing it above her breasts.  She used the side of her fist and rubbed a circle in the mirror.

She gazed at her reflection.

The same.

Strange, she thought.  I was sure I’d look different.

 

Follow the story – Frozen – Part 2 can be found here.

April 8, 2012

How We Spent Our Spring Break

So, this past week was our Spring Break.

Despite the fact that I wanted to relax and just unravel my mind from everything that has been happening around here in the past few weeks, (and get some laundry done), we were busy, busy, busy.

Because, let’s be honest…Spring Break is for the kids.

And so, I did my damnedest to make sure it was about the kids.

Real Man took Monday off and we went to the beach.

On Tuesday, we really yucked it up and the four big kids and I had dentist appointments.

They were wonderful at the dentist, but there were four of us, so the whole experience lasted almost three hours from start to finish.

Tiny was interested in the toys for about 5 minutes.  The other 2 hours and 55 minutes?  Not so much.

We spent the rest of the day playing outside and having fun, finishing up the night with A Dolphin Tale.

On Wednesday, we headed over to my parents house, first thing in the morning, as my Dad was heading out to Ohio that afternoon.  The kids and my Dad played dominoes, did jigsaw puzzles and taught him how to play Words With Friends on his Facebook account.  (I think we may have another addict on our hands)

I spent the morning chasing down Tiny who was loving exploring Grandma’s house.

We had lunch, I gave my Dad a haircut and then we headed out.

By that time, Tiny had snuck in a 10 minute nap, but, unfortunately, that meant he would not sleep again, so at that point, I had everyone go to the bathroom and we headed to our favorite park.

The place was packed but we had a blast.  There was swinging and climbing and sliding and ice cream trucking and everything in between.

We got home in time for me to make dinner, and then we ate, and the monkeys relaxed by watching Mr. Popper’s Penguins in the basement, while Real Man and I watched The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.  The kids were in hysterics in the basement and Real Man and I were intrigued in the living room.  I had read the book, previously, and think that this is a case of the book being better than the movie.  I never read the second one, but I think I’m going to start that one tonight.

Thursday was a day of playing with friends.  The boys had friends over from 11-2 and then we took an hour break and the kids had our old neighbor kids, and good friends, over from 3-5:30.  I would have to say a good time was had by all.

I had to laugh, because my friend, Jen, had recently posted this on her blog.  Ah, playdates.

Friday was a doctor appointment for Mama, then the monkeys and I picked up my friend, Jean, and her kids and headed to Pennsylvania to the Crayola Factory.  Another perk of living where we do!

I had received a deal through Living Social for 4 people for $20, which is half off the regular price.  It covered the older monkeys and I, and Tiny was free.  So, the 8 of us only paid $5 each.  Fantastic.

If you’ve never been, I will warn you it is tight and is probably not organized in the best manner possible.  However, it’s a blast for the kids…particularly if you have Crafty Craftersons like Baby Monkey and Jean’s little girl.  They could have spent hours in every single spot in the place.

A good time was had by all, and it was nice, for all of us, to spend a day with our friends.

Saturday was another great day.

We woke up and I made pancakes for the monkeys.  They loved them.  Tiny still needs to learn moderation, as he tried shoving an entire pancake in his mouth.  Take it slow, little one…take it slow.

Then, Real Man suited up in his sweats, sweatshirt and comfy socks and headed into the office and closed the door behind him to update Quicken and do our taxes.

The monkeys and I suited up and headed to the center of town for the Easter Egg Hunt.  So much fun and the kids all saw friends from school, which made it extra special.

I’m amazed at how much work must go into it, considering how many kids live in our town, but it was really well-run, I thought.  (Except that it started late, but the Bunny shows up on a fire truck, and, apparently, there was a fire call a few minutes before he was supposed to arrive…I guess that takes precedence.)

Each child got a bag with a small chocolate bunny, jelly beans, 2 Blow Pops, 2 pieces of Laffy Taffy, and the most important things, a toothbrush and toothpaste. 🙂

Then, the green was divided into different sections…1-3 year olds, 4-6 year olds, and 7-10 year olds.  My Mom came with us and went with Monkey in the Middle to the 7-10 year old section and I stayed with Baby in the 4-6 section.  When they blew the whistle, Monkey Girl held Baby’s bag and he ran around and got the little foil covered chocolate eggs and dropped them in his bag.

When that was done, there was a raffle.  Each gift bag also had a plastic egg.  On the outside of each egg was a number.  They must have called 50 numbers (I may be exaggerating, but it certainly felt like 50) and those kids got large chocolate bunnies.  My monkeys were so hopeful, but no winners in our house.

When it was all over, we walked over to the library where we had some books to return.  Everyone picked some new books, a few movies and then just browsed for awhile.  Tiny crawled around, checking everything out. So far, he hasn’t discovered the fun of pulling all of the books off the shelf.  I’m sure it’s just a matter of time, but so far, it’s just a nice space for him to crawl.

We went home, had some lunch and then, while Tiny napped, moved ourselves to the basement so as not to distract Real Man.  The big kids bundled on the couch (it was a chilly egg hunt) and watched some On Demand shows and Baby Monkey and I sat at the craft table and colored with the coloring set he got at the Crayola Store on Friday.

We colored every superhero imaginable, and then he decided he wanted to try his watercolors.  He wasn’t thrilled with them.  I never was, either, as a child.  The idea of painting never really lived up to the reality of painting.  It was always my least favorite thing to do in art class, as well.  Bob Ross, I ain’t.

Then, it was time for me.  I went and got my hair cut.  Ahhh..an hour and a half of sitting in a chair, having someone wash my hair, then sitting under the dryer while my roots lighten up, then having my hair blow dried, which is something I never do for myself.  Heaven.  Brought my iPad so I could read (currently reading The Girl Who Played with Fire) and just chilled.  The woman I go to knows that I’m not a chatter, and so she generally leaves me alone.  She has said that it’s relaxing for her, as well, not to have to consistently make up things to talk about.  We work well together.

Came home, got the monkeys, ordered some pizza (I decided that I could take one night off during break…I deserve one night…right?), fooled around with Photo Booth with the big boys:

Ate dinner and then colored our eggs.

Today, we’ll be celebrating Easter with family and then probably just crashing.

Monday is our last day of the break, and I don’t have anything planned.  I’ve snuck in the laundry throughout all this fun and so I don’t even have to spend my last day doing chores.  I can just do whatever and go wherever the day takes us.

This was, probably, the best Spring Break I can remember since the aforementioned Spring Break of ’93 when Kim and I were snowed into Jersey and couldn’t get back to college.  It was just fun and great time with the monkeys.

It’s made me start to dream about summer and imagine the fun we’ll have then.  3 more months to plan and dream!

April 7, 2012

All You Need is Time

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 6:00 am
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All you need is love?

No, John…all you need is time.

This is my kitchen:

For every piece of paper I throw away, 17 more appear.

The amount of paper and crap my children bring into the house every single day is mind-boggling.

And, I don’t keep it!

I look at it and toss it.  We hang up tests and quizzes for a week, and then they meet their maker, as well.

Heck, I’m even the heartless mother who only keeps kids art work if it has a hand print, foot print, or photo of the kid on it.

There’s just so much.

See the paper bag on the island chair?

Last week, I decided I would do an experiment and see how much stuff was coming home with the kids in a week.

That was my second bag for last week.

Two full grocery bags of papers and “stuff” in a week.

Nonsense.

I love organization and toyed with becoming a professional organizer at one point (I know…looking at that picture, no one would believe it) and so I have the tools down.

I have a small basket for mail, and I toss junk mail as soon as it comes in.

I have memory bins for all of the keepsake things that do come home.

We have a place on the invisible inside of the cabinets where I hang school schedules and lunch menus.

And still, this is what my kitchen looks like during a work week.

Now, I realize I am a full-time working mother of four.

I’m not looking for perfection.

But this drives me insane.

Something’s gotta give, and I fear, before long, it will be my sanity.

What I really need, though, is time.

That’s the struggle I have with the kitchen.

There isn’t enough time.

I love my kitchen.  It is absolutely the hub of our home.

However, it is absolutely the hub of our home.

Things get dropped on a counter, left on the table, stuck in a bin, set on a chair.

And then, eventually, pushed into a pile until I have a good two hours to do something in the kitchen other than cook, monitor homework, stop a baby from slamming his fingers in the cabinets, make appointments and phone calls, update the calendar, etc.

Two hours.

And the kitchen looks like this:

Time.

Time is all you need.

April 6, 2012

Five Question Friday

1. Would you prefer having people over for dinner or going to their house?

Having people over.

I am all about the home field advantage.

Even though socializing isn’t a game you can win.

Until it is.

2. Favorite Bible verse and why?

It would probably surprise people that I can even quote Bible verses.

However, I am a ministers daughter, and spent more hours in church in my first 18 years than most people do in their entire lives.

I also used to have a little Bible in my nightstand, like I lived in a hotel or something.

And, when I was learning to read, I did so by reading the Bible.

I can also recite all the books of the Old Testament in order.

Don’t ask.

Anyway, the first verse I memorized was Luke 24:25.

“Oh fools with hearts so slow, to believe everything the prophets have spoken…”

It’s much longer than that and what I had memorized was about a paragraph or two long.

They used to rent me out for parties to recite the Bible.

I kid.  I kid.

Anyway, today, all I can remember is that line.

It’s when Jesus appears to some of his followers after he has been resurrected and he hasn’t yet revealed himself to be Jesus.

So, I don’t have a favorite Bible verse as I haven’t actually picked up a Bible in a very, very long time.

Yet, I’m going to guess that as a child, Luke 24:25 was my favorite verse.
3. What was the first concert you ever attended, and the most recent one?

Hmmm…my first concert was either the Steve Miller Band at, what was then called, the PNC Arts Center OR Billy Joel at Yankee Stadium.  Steve Miller was a good concert, Billy Joel was a PHENOMENAL concert.

4. The year is 2025. What are you doing, and what have you done?

13 years from now.

Well, first of all, I’ll have a 24 year old, a 21 year old, a 19 year old and a 14 year old.

Unimaginable to me.

I will have been teaching for 29 years and will still be teaching.  (I’ll actually have been teaching for 31 years at that point, but the pension system didn’t recognize my time at a private school.)

I’ll be 53 years fabulous.

I’ll be working on my third novel.

Over the summers we’ll be traveling with the kids to Europe and all kinds of cool places.

We’ll be happy and living a good life.

5. What’s your favorite Easter treat?

Nothing, anymore, but in the days where I could actually eat Easter treats, it was the Reese’s Peanut Butter eggs, hands down.

I could eat 10 of those puppies at a pop, without even batting an eye.

April 5, 2012

Day at the (Chilly) Beach

Filed under: Adventuring — Amy @ 6:00 am
Tags: , , ,

Monday was the first day of our Spring Break.

Real Man took the day off and we bundled everyone up and headed down to the beach.

One of the best things about where we live is our proximity to everything.

We can make a day trip to the beach.

We can make a day trip to NYC.

We can make a day trip to Philly.

We can make a day trip to just about anywhere.

So, on Monday, we traveled in nice, light traffic to Point Pleasant.

Our first stop was the Aquarium, and then we walked the boardwalk, checked out the arcades (without spending a dime, although Baby Monkey found a nickel, so some may say we ended up ahead of the game), and walked on the beach.

It reaffirmed Monkey Girl’s wish (for the time being) to be a marine biologist and work with dolphins, in particular (because she was outraged that the aquarium had no dolphins)…we even had to rent A Dolphin’s Tale from Redbox upon our return ($1 well-spent…really touching movie).

It made Monkey in the Middle very happy because he pointed out all of the security cameras in the aquarium and on the boardwalk.  One of his favorite pastimes.

Baby Monkey loved it because the Point Pleasant boardwalk has a train that rides in a circle around all the rides, and even though the train wasn’t on and we didn’t ride the rides that were functional, we walked by the train twice and that, alone, made him happy.  And, he loved that fact that he almost blew away on the beach.

And Tiny contemplated his own mortality as sharks three times his size stopped in the window to check him out.  He is one tasty morsel.

For Real Man and I, it was precious time spent with our family at one of our favorite locations.  We laughed all day long.

Well, except for when we got home and Real Man and the older boys were out in the backyard having a catch, when, in the neighbors yard, a hawk swooped down, grabbed a squirrel in mid-sprint, choked it to death with it’s talons and proceeded to rip it to shreds and eat it.

We didn’t laugh so much then.

But it was cool.

Wild Kingdom ain’t got nothin’ on the suburbs.

It was one of the nicest days I’ve had in a very, very long time.

April 4, 2012

Guilty

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 5:02 pm
Tags: ,

Apparently, after less than a day of deliberation. the jury found the defendant in my Juror Number Me story guilty of all counts.

Thought you all might like to know the result.

http://www.dailyrecord.com/article/20120404/NJNEWS/304040019/Kleber-Cordova-found-guilty-of-drowning-wife-in-bathtub-in-Morristown

Wordless Wednesday: Best Friends

Filed under: Wordless Wednesday — Amy @ 6:00 am
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April 3, 2012

Truthful Tuesday – Music of My Heart

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 6:00 am

Today’s question comes from Jen.

Jen writes: Truthfully, who is your favorite singer, corny or not.

My favorite singer really varies with time, so I don’t have any one favorite singer.

Right now, I’m a sucker for Gavin DeGraw.

I’ve always liked his music when it’s come out and been current, but then I kinda forget about it and move on.

However, with Spotify, I just type in his name and I get to listen to all of his music, at once.

(A colleague of mine recently pondered the purpose of Spotify, beyond letting everyone know what you are listening to.  For me, the purpose of Spotify is for me to listen to all the music I want to, where I want to, for free.)

And so, I find myself listening to his stuff over and over again, and I realize just how much of his work I love.

In a broader sense, I like a lot of male singers.

There’s just something about the quality of their voices.

Very soulful.

I love to listen to Michael Buble, Harry Connick, Jr., Josh Groban.

I could listen to any of them all day, every day.

As for female singers, I appreciate people who have crisp, clear voices.

I realize that it might sound trite, these days, to use her as a favorite, but Whitney Houston singing a ballad, in her heyday, was unparalleled.

I could also listen to Celine Dion sing her ballads again and again and again.

I get goosebumps when she hits some of those high notes.

Or even when she’s singing “My Heart Will Go On” and she gets to that part where she kicks it up a step or two.

Shivers.

But, then I like a soulful woman’s voice, as well.

Adele is currently rocking my socks, and I love, love, love Fiona Apple (even though we don’t hear much from her anymore).

And yet, when Charlotte Church came out (the teenage opera singer from the UK a few years back…okay, probably more than a few, but time has lost any sort of meaning for me now that I’ve hit forty…as far as I’m concerned, everything happened yesterday) I wore out my CD.  Actually, it might have even been a cassette.  Don’t remember.  But I LOVED it.

Oh, and I am a huge fan of Mariah Carey when she was a new artist.

Her first album.

Kim can tell you.

So, those are the voices that move me.

A different question could have been, “What type of music do you listen to?” because while they sound similar, they are quite different indeed.

But, that’s for another day.

I am remiss…I rarely edit a post after it has gone live, but I’ve just been reminded of my other  BIG TIME vocal love.  Eddie Vedder.  Oooh Mama…something about that voice absolutely captivates me.  I could listen to Eddie Vedder and no one else for the rest of my life.  Love his stuff with Pearl Jam, and LOVE his solo stuff.  The soundtrack to “Into the Wild” is one of my favorite albums (is album even a thing anymore?) of all time.  So sorry, Eddie.  That’s what I get for writing a blog while watching Dancing with the Stars.  Thanks for the reminder, Angela.

April 2, 2012

Diving In

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 6:00 am

So, some of the comments, on the Juror Number Me series, were that I should write a book.

To which I responded, “I did!”

A few years ago, I wrote a novel called The Follow Through.

However, I never really worked hard at trying to get it published.

I want to have it published.

I just haven’t put in the legwork.

I did enter it in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Contest and made it to the semi-finals, but not all the way.

I took the comments that the reviewers made and made some tweaks and then pretty much that was that.

I don’t beat myself up over this because, let’s be honest…I don’t have all the time in the world.

However, I should have made the time.

I also haven’t really been prioritizing my writing for awhile.

While I was on maternity leave, I got a lot of writing done.

New babies eat and sleep and eat and sleep and sleep and sleep.

I’ve never been able to nap while the baby naps, so while the baby slept, I wrote.

And then I went back to work and that was that.

However, I have a bunch of stories running around in my head that I just need to get to paper.

And so…combine that with my friend, Heather’s, suggestion that I turn Monday into novella day, I’ve made a decision.

Every Monday, I will post part of a story I am writing.

This will help me make sure I write and be accountable for doing so (because imagine how embarrassing if I have to say “I got nothin’ today”) and will also broaden my writing portfolio.

And, hopefully, be entertaining for all of you.

So, here is your fair warning…starting next Monday, it will be Monday’s Mini-Stories (although I’m hoping to come up with a more clever title that than…doesn’t bode well for the stories if that’s the best name I can come up with).

In the meantime, if you are interested in knowing more about my novel, feel free to check out my author blog.  I haven’t been diligent about keeping it up at all so don’t expect much.  However, this link will take you directly to the story synopsis.

 

Please remember, I am always actively taking questions for Truthful Tuesday.  No question too big or too small!

April 1, 2012

Gratitude

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 6:00 am

Real Man tells me that I have posted this before.

I have no recollection of it, and if I did, I apologize, but I feel strongly it should be said again.

Today, I feel the need to share my gratitude.

For what, you ask?

It’s not a what, it’s a who.

Today I am giving thanks for Tiny’s babysitter.

I cannot tell you how it feels to be able to go to work and not worry about him.

Please note…I said not worry about him.

I think about him all day long and wonder what he’s doing.

But I never, never worry.

She loves him as if he were her own, and he loves her right back.

In the morning, when I drop him off, he leaps out of my arms to get to her.

In the afternoon, when I pick him up, he leaps right back into mine.

And it’s not just her.

It’s her family.

As he was learning all of our names, he was also learning theirs and gets just as excited when we ask him where they are as he does when we ask where his siblings are.

During the day, he isn’t just watched.

He is loved, he is treasured, he is cared for.

We bumped into her and her children at the Science fair the other night and Tiny just about had a heart attack when he saw them.

I’ve had a few people ask if I’m jealous of how much he loves her.

My response is this:

I’m thrilled that he spends his days with someone who makes him feel as safe and happy as she clearly does.  How wonderful if we all spent every second of our days feeling cherished and secure.  Jealous?  Not for a second.  Grateful?  Beyond words.

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