My Real Life

There are good people in the world.  Then, there are some really special people in the world.

Let me tell you a story…

When Real Man and I first got married, before the monkeys, we had a dog. 

A real dog…”dog” is not a name for something else like “monkey.”  Just to clarify.

Anyway, we named him Bennie.  He was a mixed yellow Lab and Chesapeake Bay Retriever.  He was beautiful and such a love.

However…Ben had issues.  Serious issues.

He had some severe separation anxiety and he had to be medicated and eventually we wound up having to put him in doggie daycare.  We spent so much money on that dog and so much time and effort.  But, we loved him.

Unfortunately, one day, Bennie bit Real Man.  It was a misunderstanding between man and dog, but by this time we had Monkey Girl and although he bit Real Man on the hand, it was right where Monkey Girl’s face would have been if she had been standing there.  We realized that we wouldn’t ever be able to forgive ourselves if he had bitten her.

So, we listed him at Petfinder.com and some other websites, as the local shelter said they would have to euthanize him because they couldn’t adopt out a dog that had bitten.

A website named “RotnPity” picked up his ad (website for Rotweillers and PitBulls) because they were used to placing dogs that had bitten before. 

I was pregnant with Monkey in the Middle and we set a date saying that if he hadn’t been adopted by the time I was due with Monkey in the Middle, we’d have to give him to the shelter, after all.  It broke my heart and I cried, almost every day over this, but I knew, in the end, that it was the right decision.

A week before I was due, we received an e-mail from a woman who lived in Delaware.  She had 5 dogs, but the eldest had just passed away and she felt a hole in the family.  She wanted another dog.  She had read the story of the bite and agreed that it was purely situational.  Her son was in his late teens, and she lived on acres of property.

We set up a visit, and she and her husband drove from Delaware to NJ to meet Bennie.  They stayed for about two hours.  When they got home, they called and said they would very much like to have Ben as the newest member of their family.

Everything went through the RotnPity organization.  Real Man and I drove Bennie to Philadelphia and dropped him off at the representatives place (that is another story for another day) and then she drove Bennie to Delaware, so she could do a site visit to make sure the place was safe before leaving him there.

Over the years, this wonderful woman has e-mailed me updates and sent me pictures of Bennie.  It’s been great to keep up with his life in this way.

He is happy and has loved living with them.  He’s had other dogs to play with an acres to run free on.

They moved to a bigger property a few years ago, in Virginia, I think, and he continued to thrive.

This morning, I received an e-mail from his new owner telling me that he hasn’t been doing so well.  He’s 11, and has developed a bunch of fatty tumors.  Finally, he had enough so that the vet wanted to remove them.

Here is a portion of the e-mail she sent:

He has a total of 7 incisions, the longest being five inches on his right hip. The incision isn’t visible in the pic though. 5 of the tumors were the fatty tumors, the kind he had before. One tumor, on his thyroid is very suspicious and Dr. X took tissue from it, and then just closed that incision back up. The tumor on his hip that was a little bigger in size than a nickel, also looked very suspicious for cancer. He removed that one, but said it was extensive in that it was entangled in nerves and tendons and attached to a muscle. The tumor and the tissue from the thyroid tumor were sent for biopsy and we should hear something within 10 days.

As I understand it, he didn’t remove the tumor on the thyroid because there are different ways of going about it if it is cancerous. He went ahead and removed the one from the hip before it got larger and caused nerve damage and problems with Bennie using that leg. Dr. X also mentioned that if it turns out that both of the tumors are cancerous, chances are he has it elsewhere internally. So, we wait to hear what it is, and pray that it isn’t cancer. 

Bennie is so glad to be home. The other dogs are being very kind to him and letting Ben have first choice in whatever dog bed he wants, and moving very gently around him. The E-collar is demolishing the house of course and there has been a mishap with the Christmas tree. ( it will get secured to the wall later ! )

I have to help him get a drink because the E-collar hits the floor when he bends down and prevents him from getting low enough to drink. I hold his water and food bowls up for him. He can only go out to the bathroom on a leash and he doesn’t like that. Since moving here he has had free run of the property and likes his privacy of “going” on the woods.

He is on an antibiotic because he has multiple incisions and the drain in, has a pain medication and also anti-inflammatory drug to keep down swelling, so he is very comfortable. There is a good bit of bruising around the incisions. His appetite is voracious as usual and he becomes very alert when anyone goes in the kitchen. He is still sly, and will take food off the counter if it is left unattended. I have never been able to break him of that ! 

I am to remove the drain on Tuesday and take the sutures out in 12 – 14 days. The last time he had surgery, he healed slowly and Dr. X opted to leave them in longer than the standard 10 days. In the picture, if you look at his left front leg, you will see a dark horizontal line at the top. That is from the first tumor that was removed when we lived back in Delaware. The vet took the sutures out too soon and it formed a wide scar and the fur never grew back.  

So, what I thought would just be simple surgery to remove some lumps, could be a lot worse. Dr. X is not an alarmist, so I am very worried since he is so concerned. About an hour into the trip home yesterday I had to pull over and had a melt down. I know he is a “senior” dog, but it’s still hard to think he could die. Please pray for our boy!

As I read this e-mail, I cried and laughed, as did Real Man.  It is full of such wonderful information about Ben, such as the fact that he continues to be a sneaky food stealer, which makes us smile, and such sad information, such as the whole possibility of cancer.

But, what hits me the most about this e-mail is that Real Man and I always said that Bennie was so lucky that we were the ones who adopted him, because no one else would have put up with all of the work that it took to raise Bennie in the early years, but the truth is, someone is definitely looking out for this guy, because he continues to be a lot of work and money, and here again, he is with someone else who loves him so much and is willing to do whatever it takes to keep him healthy and safe.

We are so blessed to have found this woman.  She is truly an exceptional person.  That she would continue to update us on Bennie, after all these years, and that she so obviously loves our guy just touches my heart in a way that few things do.