My Real Life

In general, I am a strong woman.

I am able to resist many temptations (Turkey Hill Peanut Butter Ice Cream aside).

However, every few months, something comes across the threshold of my home that I am utterly unable to resist. It has total and complete power over me, and it is able to make me do something that I am not usually willing to do.

Part with my money.

What is this demonic presence, you might ask?

If you are a parent of a school-age child, you may already know. Perhaps, you, too, are prey to this predator.

The Scholastic Book Order brochures.

Even if you don’t have children, do you remember these? They’d come home every few months, and I would thumb through them, making lists of the books that I wanted. How could I pick just one? They all called to me, “Pick me, Amy! Pick me!”

Well, as a parent, those book orders still call to me. “Monkey in the Middle would love this one!” or “Monkey Girl would drool over that one!”  Plus the fact that the teacher gets free books for the classroom based on how many books are ordered from his/her class.  Who can argue free books for a school?

Who am I to ignore the call? Particularly when my children seem to have been genetically programmed to do the exact same thing that I did when I was a child. They choose a brightly colored marker and go through and circle all of the books that they want. Then, they casually leave the order booklet somewhere I am sure to see it. On the counter, on my pillow, in the bathroom.

However, they don’t just sell books, anymore. Now they have a companion catalogue that comes home with the book brochure. It’s called “Click!” and it is full of games for the computer or gaming systems or handheld game systems.

My Dad happened to be the grandparent who was here the day Monkey in the Middle got off the bus with the latest edition of the “Click!” brochure. Monkey Girl was soon to follow, and he actually encouraged them to circle. So, they did.

The Scholastic order came today. I had asked Monkey in the Middle’s teacher to shoot me an e-mail when the order came in so I could pick it up, because my Dad wanted to surprise them with what he bought, and there was no way Monkey in the Middle wouldn’t be looking in that bag if they put it in his backpack.

I picked it up and brought it home. He gave one thing to each of the big kids, and then will give the rest to them for Christmas and Birthdays. Apparently, my Dad suffers from the same compulsion I do when it comes to the Scholastic order. I won’t tell you how much he spent, but I will say that it was in the triple digits.

However, Monkey in the Middle has been playing his new John Deere tractor PC game all afternoon, and Monkey Girl is learning the challenges of motherhood as she plays her new “Babysitting” Nintendo DS game. Ah, Grandparents…they were made for spoiling children.

Of course, we also now have seven new Halloween books sitting on the coffee table, but I have no idea how those got there.

Oh good Lord…next month will be the Thanksgiving books brochure. Give me strength!