My Real Life

August 28, 2015


Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 6:00 am
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In this house, we are finally free.

Free of tyranny.

Free of restriction.

Free of diapers.

Yes, that’s right…

Of all the amazing things that have happened this summer, the best, the ultimate, the most wonderful was the fact that Tiny is (finally) potty trained.

Yeah, everyone gets potty trained, so why all the fanfare?

Why an entire blog post devoted to it?

Because the stubborn son of a gun is four and a half.

He’s been holding all the cards and we’ve been his pawns.

We haven’t been able to go anywhere without diapers and wipes, and believe me, my friends…they ain’t cheap.

Going to the pool meant swim diapers, and going to the beach meant an awful rash from the sand trapped inside.

It was a battle, and even when we tried to turn it around into no big deal, on the advice of our doctor, no one was fooled…it was still a battle.

Monkey Girl spoiled us.

She was one and a half when she decided she wanted to be trained, and while she ran hot and cold for the next year, two and a half still isn’t bad.

The next two waited until they were almost four, but finally pulled the trigger and so we expected about the same from Tiny.

But Tiny won’t be bound by expectations.

He won’t live by any rules other than those he makes for himself.

And so we begged, we pleaded, we bribed.

We gave him all the power.

Which was exactly how he liked it.

And then, one day, it clicked, and he was tired of the game and decided he was ready.

And that, my friends, was that.

And so, our greatest triumph this summer, was freedom from diapers.

May we never have to change another diaper again.

Well…until the grandchildren, but that’s waaaaaaaay in the future, and by then, I have a feeling we won’t mind so much.

April 3, 2010

What I Did Over My Spring Break

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 8:44 pm

What I Did Over My Spring Break.

A Report by: Amy Bozza

This spring break, while all my friends were busy playing games and taking trips, I spent the majority of my time in the bathroom.

Doing what, you may ask.

Trying to get the most stubborn four year old in the world to use the potty.

I was starting to get visions of Baby Monkey heading to college, and me having to say, “Hey sweetie, did you pack your Pull-Ups?”

We tried rewards.

He LOVES the Wiggles, so in August, after our trip to North Carolina, we said, “Okay, no more Wiggles until you go on the potty.  They are your potty reward.”

What did the child who could watch the Wiggles 24-hours a day say?

“Ah, that’s okay.  I don’t like the Wiggles anyway.”

We tried, “Twizzlers, your favorite treat, will be a reward if you go on the potty.”

What did Twizzler boy say?

“I don’t really like Twizzlers anymore.”

We knew it wasn’t going to be easy.

Finally, last month, I called our doctor and begged for help.

She said, “For the next three weeks, just stop asking if he has to go.  Don’t mention the potty at all.”

So, we stopped.

Cold turkey.

It was unbelievable how aware he was that we were no longer asking.

“Mom,” he’d say.  “I wet my pants.”

I’d say, “Okay, let’s go get changed.”

He’d say, “You didn’t ask if I had to go to the potty!”

I said, “Oh, well, you didn’t ask, so I didn’t know!”

One time, he stood in the office and stared at Real Man while he went in his Pull-Up.

Real Man knew what he was doing, but wasn’t going to bite.

Finally, Baby Monkey said, “Dad, I’m stinky.”

Real Man said, “Okay, let’s go get you changed.”

Baby Monkey said, “You didn’t ask if I had to go!”

Real Man said, “You didn’t tell me!”

Baby Monkey said, “I told you in my head, Daddy.”

This is one tough cookie.

The end of three weeks coincided with my spring break, and so this past week, we continued to follow the doctors advice, which was to now say “We’re done with Pull-Ups.  Only underwear from now on.”  Then, if he had an accident, don’t be punitive, but simply make him help clean up and change himself.

At first, he wasn’t digging it.

We knew exactly when he had to go, because out of nowhere, he’d start to say, “I don’t want to wear underwear” and start wiggling around like a maniac.

But, when we’d take him to the bathroom, he’d say “I don’t have to go!”

We’d leave the bathroom and he’d promptly go.

Then, when he had to help clean it up, he almost gagged on the smell (I think he was being overly dramatic…it was pee) and for the past six days hasn’t had a single accident.

We’ve visited every bathroom in every building we’ve been in since Tuesday and he’s christened them all.

He’s so proud of himself…he’s telling total strangers “I’m a big boy and wear underwear now!”

So, although my report on what I did over my spring break may not be as exciting as yours, it is definitely ending EXACTLY how I wanted it to!

(Just a reminder…please visit Amazon, download my novel excerpt (for free!) read, and leave a review!

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