“I don’t know how you do it,” is a phrase I hear a lot.
When I hear it, I smile and say “I have really good kids and a really supportive husband,” because it’s the truth.
Then they say “Yeah, but still, I don’t know how you do it.”
I often wonder what exactly this “IT” is that they think I do.
And I certainly hope that “IT” doesn’t equal “ALL” because I don’t do it all.
One of the blogs I read, “Tiny Twig Goes Out on a Limb,” covered this very topic, last week, and I thought she did a beautiful job.
You can read her take on doing it all here.
As for me, I certainly don’t do it all, either.
Here are my contributions to Tiny Twig’s list:
1. I don’t deep clean my house. In fact, I have a cleaning lady that comes every other week. She scrubs, she shines, and does the deep cleaning I could be doing instead of hanging with the monkeys when I get home from work. Let’s be honest…we’re in the midst of play season. Add that to my teaching day, plus piano, and I’m leaving at 7:15 in the morning and not walking in the door again until 5:30, sometimes 6:00. I wanna play Wii tennis or chess or cut stuff out of construction paper with the monkeys. I don’t want to have to deep clean the house. So, for about 3 hours, once every two weeks, my house is sparkling clean. The rest of the time, it’s clean enough.
2. This brings me to point number two. I love to play games and do stuff with the monkeys. I do. But, I don’t want anyone thinking that’s all I do when I’m home. I would think that’s evident just from the mere fact that I write this blog, which takes up a bit of time. But I also like to read, to run on the treadmill, to play the piano, and do other things to relax, and a lot of these things don’t involve my kids. My children are my life. But, my children aren’t my life. I have other interests, as well as being a Mom, and I think that’s just fine. On Facebook the other day, my Mom posted that she called here to talk to Baby Monkey and while they were on the phone, he called over his shoulder to his siblings, “I could use a little quiet, here.” He got that from me.
3. This comes as no surprise to regular readers, but I suck at laundry. I simply cannot stay on top of it. Can. Not. Do. It. In fact, (and this is absolutely no joke), if I knew someone I could hire to do our laundry, I would. I don’t like spending money, but this would be somewhere I would absolutely spend my money. I hate it. I don’t know why I hate it so much. It’s not the washing or the drying. It’s the folding, hanging and putting away. And the fact that I’m doing laundry for 6. So, we’re all always looking for this shirt or those pants and my answer is always, “It’s probably still dirty.” And sometimes, we wear it dirty.
4. I don’t do it all, because I don’t have to. I have an incredible husband and we’re a team. You want to talk about someone who does it all? Talk about a single Mom. My friend, Jodi, does it all and does it by herself and does it beautifully. She’s who I look up to.
So, these are just a few of the things that I don’t do, or even that I don’t do well.
No one does it all.
No one should even try.
I do the best that I can and try not to beat myself up over the stuff I’m not doing as well as someone else is doing it.
Because, odds are, I’m probably a rock star at something they are struggling with.
Ok, I’ll throw another few in the mix….you can attribute it to someone else if desired….but just in case you need more fodder for Truthful Tuesday…
1) injury or illness ?
(I believe we all as moms handle one better than the other….for me, its injury. With the exception of major stuff (which we’ve mostly avoided so far–notice I said mostly) I find injuries to be much more concrete (no pun intended) and much more easily dealt with than illness. Skylar once decided to turn on a halogen desk lamp and peiceeded to put her 21 month old finger on the lens til she got a 2nd degree burn. Not fun, but i knew what to do. Illness in my house means incessant whining, tissues all over the house, and battles over nose blowing etc. Not my cup of tea. And you?
2) Echo Moments?
Is there anything you’ve caught yourself say to the kids that made you pause and say, “OMG I sound like my mother!” ;0). For me, it’s the counting. You know, the ominous if I get to three there’s gonna be trouble. ONE….TWO….TWO AND A HALF (as if a 4 yr old understands that the half means she’s perilously close to something). What’s your “echo” moment?
3) Secret Revelation?
This one may be tougher since you have four kids at multiple stages but is there a stage that you’ve passed through that was really a good thing, but you secretly miss it. Ex: I SO miss the damn pacifier some days. It’s not that I’m a fan ( or ever was) of toting those silly things around and losing them Etc but sometimes, some days, at some moments, I miss the ease of providing instant comfort to a screaming, fussing child. You know, those moments when even the hugs and snuggles don’t seem to even take the edge off of whatever is causing the wails. So, there…I said it….I miss the darn “Pa Pa” somedays. Any secret reveals Amy?
Xo h
Comment by Heather — February 7, 2012 @ 7:54 am |
I believe you may have just set me up for a nice, future Truthful Tuesday, Heather! 🙂 Thanks! 🙂
Comment by abozza — February 7, 2012 @ 2:57 pm |
My pleasure pal!
Comment by Heather — February 7, 2012 @ 3:37 pm
I know it’s different regionally, but I am curious how much it costs for your house cleaning service. I would love something like that, it’s probably not available where I live now, but in the future I wonder what that would cost?
Comment by Sarah — February 7, 2012 @ 2:21 pm |
I’m emailing you the specifics! 🙂
Comment by abozza — February 7, 2012 @ 2:53 pm |
You do plenty. I’ve got a husband who pulls more than his weight, just one child, and we STILL cannot keep up with the laundry. Right now there’s a pile waiting for folding on my bed, another on the floor of the basement, and two baskets full waiting to go down. Eventually, someone will run out of underwear and more will get taken care of.
Comment by Suburban Snapshots — February 7, 2012 @ 9:19 pm |
LOL, Brenna…running out of underwear is definitely the impetus to get it going again. Or to head to the store to buy more so I don’t have to do the laundry. 🙂
Comment by abozza — February 7, 2012 @ 9:40 pm |
Hi, Amy. Great post. I get that same thing a lot too–the I-don’t-know-how-you-do-it–and I’m always the first to say I don’t. Not even close. My house is a mess, I have the same laundry-aversion you do, and I very often fail at dinner-making (just don’t have my head together to plan ahead on that one, for some reason.)
jen
Comment by j — February 8, 2012 @ 10:48 am |
Jen, Thanks for sharing! It’s good to know I’m not alone!
Comment by abozza — February 8, 2012 @ 10:53 am |
Aside from the part about hiring someone to come clean (Although we have talked a LOT about doing so and I have a friend who needs money badly right now that I might hire to come mop and dust for me every few weeks, but right now I don’t have that YET.)…anyway, aside from that part, I could. have. written. this. post. Except not as well as you put it. I will have to go read the link too, because it is always awesome to read the truth and reality about time management. We don;t do it all, and that is ok.
Comment by thismummaslife — February 11, 2012 @ 1:57 pm |
Thanks! It’s good to know I’m not alone! 🙂
Comment by abozza — February 11, 2012 @ 4:48 pm |