My Real Life

So, today is Crazy Hair Day and for once, there was no drama.

We have a Fred Flintstone wig from a costume party Real Man and I went to years ago and he was perfectly happy to wear it.

I wish we had thought of this a few years ago.

It would have saved us a LOT of angst.

You can read about the Crazy Hair day of the past here.

Ah…New York City.

If it was possible to marry a place (and if I wasn’t already married to Real Man) I would absolutely marry New York City.

There’s just something about it that brings you back time and time again.

And, for me, part of that draw are my besties (yep, I said ‘besties’ like I’m 14) Kim, Erin and Michaela.

It’s been a long time since the 4 of us were together.

Kim’s wedding back in December, to be exact.

Too long.

So, on Saturday morning, I packed up and headed into NYC.

Erin and I rode in together and when we got there, we headed to Kim’s apartment, dropped our stuff off and then the three of us headed for Bloomingdale’s.

At Bloomingdale’s on Lexington Avenue, they have a restaurant named “40 Carrots.”

40 Carrots has the best fruit salad with a scoop of cottage cheese I have ever eaten.

Kim reminded me, in the cab, that I could probably make my own fruit salad with a scoop of cottage cheese, but then I reminded her that some things taste SO much better when someone else makes them for you.

She had to agree.

Weirdest thing, though.

When we got to 40 Carrots, someone was there reading my book!

So crazy!  Look at how she’s laughing at the hilarity.  She clearly thinks this would be an excellent summer read.

After lunch, we did some browsing through the store.

Then, we started to hit some vintage shops throughout the city.  We were everywhere.

SoHo, uptown, downtown, everywhere.

And, listen to this!

In one of the vintage shops, there was another woman reading my book!

See how she ponders the essay she is reading?  It seems to me as she is thinking what a wonderful shower gift this book would make.

It gets weirder.

We went into a pet shop, because who can resist the lure of the squealing, excited little puppies, and wouldn’t you know it?

A woman was reading the chihuahua puppies MY BOOK!  It lulled those little ones right to sleep!

Must have been the melodic way the prose is written.

So, clearly, this is a book that would be perfect for your nightstand, as well.

(Just click the Amazon link on the right hand side of this page and this book can be yours, too!)

After Bloomie’s and vintage shopping, the girls indulged me in the store Paper Source where I finally found a journal.

I’ve been looking for next year’s journal everywhere.  Normally I purchase my journals in the gift shop of the National Gallery on the 8th grade trip to DC but this year, the selection was slim pickins.

So, when I found two that I like in Paper Source, I bought them both.

We headed up to Columbus Avenue and met Michaela at Cafe Frida for dinner.

Yep.

People reading the book there, too.

Whose essay were they reading?  I don’t know, but it looks juicy.  You should probably buy the book to find out.

We ate, we relaxed, we talked, we laughed.

It was exactly what this girl needed.

After dinner, we headed to Sugar and Plumm.

Erin and Kim ordered a brownie a’la mode to share.

I was thinking “Ha! Rookies,” and said snarkily to the waitress, “I’ll have a brownie a’la mode just for ME.”

Then it arrived and I wasn’t feeling so snarky any more.

Michaela said it made her teeth hurt just to look at it.

I concur.

I managed about half of it and it was delish, but that was all I could manage.

We headed back to Kim’s, chatted for awhile, Michaela headed back to her apartment and Kim, Erin and I fell fast asleep.

Because I’m like a trained seal, at 5:45 am, I woke up, but there was no way I was getting out of bed to catch the 6:11 train, so I lay there for just a little while longer, enjoying the knowledge that no one was going to ask me to make them breakfast or need a diaper change or ask me to referee a fight about Wii remotes.

And then I started missing everyone at home, so I got out of bed, got dressed, whispered goodbyes and headed for Penn Station.

I love that city and I love those girls.

I am one lucky chica.

To say I had a busy weekend would be a gross understatement.

I ran from place to place to place and am only just now getting my feet back under me.

The good news is that everything I had to do this weekend was wonderful.

Book Signing

On Friday night, I had a book signing at Bobby’s News and Gifts in Boonton, NJ.

Here you see Amy from Funny is Family, Nicole from Nicole Leigh Shaw, Tyop Artist, Kim from Let Me Start by Saying, and…well, me.

The rain was torrential, so the turnout wasn’t quite what we had hoped, but the people who showed were awesome and very much appreciated.

We signed books, we chatted, we laughed, we read, I sang, there was wine, there was cheese, there was an amazing store in which I wanted to buy every single thing I saw.

Kim wrote a great wrap-up of the evening here.  I encourage you to check it out, particularly because she links you to Bobby’s News and Gifts and Vino, the store that provided the wine for the evening.

Early Saturday morning, I headed into NYC with Kim, Erin and Michaela, but I’ll tell you all about that trip tomorrow.

Family Picnic

On Sunday, I took the early train home from the city to get back for the family picnic for Real Man’s side of the family.

Every year, same weekend, same park, same people, same fun.

It is, without a doubt, Monkey in the Middle’s favorite day of the entire year because he gets to play outside with his cousins, non-stop, all day long.

They play every sport and game imaginable.

We go for short hikes.

We grill.

There is an adults vs kids kickball game.

(We made Tiny prepare the field)

The evening is topped off by s’mores.

Seriously.  It’s hard to beat.

We had special guests this year.

The cicadas.

For my readers in parts of the country/world who don’t get to experience the rise of the cicadas every 17 years, here’s just a small taste of what they sound like:

It’s kinda sorta totally awesome.

I’m one of the few who think their arrival is nothing short of miraculous and am in awe of the “cicada story.”

Anyway, sometimes you spend a busy weekend and you finish it up and your head is spinning and you are thinking “Ugh…I spent the whole damn weekend running around and never got to relax.”

And sometimes you spend a busy weekend and you finish it up and your head is spinning and you are thinking “Best. Weekend. Ever.”

Yeah, this was one of those.

A few weeks ago, I wrote about our struggles with Tiny.

After we spent those three days in the hospital, he forgot how to put himself to sleep.

The little guy who used to say “Night Night, Mama” and roll over and go to sleep suddenly had to be put in the crib fast asleep or else no one was sleeping.

I knew what we had to do, but I didn’t want to.

We went to the doctor for a regular check-up and I explained what was going on and she said, “You need to let him cry it out.  He’s a smart boy and he’s a stubborn boy.”

Basically, she said he was playing us.

“Yeah, but he stands there and cries and I think he gets stuck and doesn’t know how to get back to laying down.”

She narrowed her eyes and looked at me.  “Amy…have you ever seen him stand and then sit in the crib?”

“Yes,” I answered, avoiding her gaze.

“He knows how to get down.  He’s choosing not to because he wants you to do things his way.  No 2 year old is going to stand up in his crib all night.  Eventually, he will have enough and he will lay down and go to sleep.”

I got home and told Real Man what she said and he said, “You knew that’s what she was going to say.  So, tonight?”

I agreed.  That night.

So, at bedtime, we went through the normal bedtime routine, and I’ll be damned if that little boy didn’t fall asleep in my arms while I was singing to him.

AND went through the transition from rocker to crib without waking up.

So…plans were postponed until the next night when he did exactly what I thought he’d do.

Snuggled in during singing and then when I put him in the crib, he popped up like a Jack in the Box and said “No, Mama!  No, Mama!”

I said, “Night, night sweetie.  I’ll see you in the morning,” and closed the door.

He. Wasn’t. Having. It.

So, first there were tears.  Tears and tears and tears.

It killed me, but I held strong.

After about four hours, I turned to Real Man and said, “I gotta go get him.”

Real Man said, “Amy…it’s been 7 minutes.”

Darn.

So, I waited another 23 minutes and then I followed the doctors advice and went to his bedroom door…didn’t open it, just stood outside…and said “Tiny, it’s time for sleeping.  You need to lay down and go to sleep.”

That made him mad.

Tears were gone and now he moved into his best Linda Blair imitation.

“Mama!  Close the door!” (He gets “open” and “close” confused sometimes)  “Mama!  Michael said close the door!”

Let it go for 45 minutes this time, went back to the door, reassured him he was fine and told him to go to sleep.

So, he tried a different tactic.

“Mama?  Mama?  I like the iPad.  Pwease.  I like to play iPad.  Pwease?”

“Mama!  Mama!  Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?”

“Mama?  Mama!  I like-a get dressed now.”

After an hour, I went back to the door and told him it was time to sleep.

So, he started whining and crying, whining and crying.

Every now and then there would be little breaks that would last from 5 to 15 minutes when I knew he had fallen asleep while standing up, but then he would wake up and start calling again.

And extending the interval by 15 minutes each time, every few hours, I would go to the door and remind him that I was there and he was okay and it was time to go to sleep.

He cycled through exorcism, being cute, and crocodile tears throughout the night, never stopping for more than 15 minutes at a time.

Real Man eventually dozed, but I stayed up, listening to every breath, every silence, on pins and needles, all night long.

At 5:30 a.m. I decided to call it.

I got out of bed, walked to his room, opened the door and said “Good morning, sunshine!”

I wasn’t sure what I’d find.

I half expected him to be puffy faced, red-eyed, half-asleep hanging over the crib.

He was none of those.

I walked in, he stood up, clear-eyed, bright smile and said “Good morning, Mama!”

Which let me know that the doctor had been right.  He had been playing me like a baby grand.  My boy was fine.  He just wanted things to be his way.

He is, however, two, and so I was not the least bit surprised when he fell asleep on the two minute drive to his babysitters house.

I told her to let him sleep for a few hours, but he should be up by 11 a.m. otherwise, it was all going to spin out of control.

He had a great day at her house, and a wonderful afternoon at home, and at bedtime, I was geared up for whatever would come.

Real Man and I went through the bedtime routine and after songs, when I put him in the crib, up he popped.

“No Mama!”

I told him I loved him, but it was time for bedtime, and left the room.

He yelled at me through the wall for 20 minutes and then, just stopped.

I heard him lay down and that was that.

Of course, I suffer from the most common of motherhood diseases: silent child paranoia, and so after twenty more minutes, I went into his room to make sure he was okay.

He was fine.  Fast asleep, face was dry, confirming there had been no tears, and sleeping peacefully.

On the third night, as I walked him to his crib and put him down, he said “Night, night, Mama,” and went right to sleep.

And so far, we haven’t looked back.

I know it’s not for everyone.

And believe me, if I had heard real sadness or despair in his voice at any time during the night, I would have gone right in there, scooped him up and rocked that boy to sleep.

But he was fine and even his days seem to be better now that he’s sleeping without any help.

I’m proud of him.  I’m proud of us.

It’s so hard to be a parent and to know what the right thing to do is, and the truth is, at the end of the day, there probably isn’t a “right” thing to do at all.

It’s just a “what works for us” thing.

So, we all keep trying and trying and trying and trying.

And, if we’re lucky…somewhere in there…something will work.

And we’ll get some sleep.

My Dad called us yesterday afternoon to see if he could take us out to dinner at Friendly’s.

The answer was a resounding yes.

It was a long, hot weekend, and we were all wilting.

I spent most of the weekend in the dog house around here because I have neglected to renew our pool membership yet, and it opened this weekend.

I was in the dog house with even myself, on this one, because the pool would have been fabulous this weekend.

Anyway, we got to Friendly’s at 5 and the place was packed.

Because there were 7 of us, they walked us all the way to the back where the big tables are, and as we passed family after family, the parents and I all made eye contact and gave each other the weary head-nod of summer.

You know the one.

The one that says “Too hot too cook? I get it.”

The one that says “It’s hard to keep up with my kids on a 60 degree day.  It’s nearly impossible on a 90 degree day.”

The head nod that implies “I wish I could have run through the sprinkler instead of doing the laundry and cleaning the house.”

The one that says “We still have a month before school is out, but we’re all on vacation in our minds.”

There are so many signs of summer, but that head nod…the head nod that unites all the parents in the summer on the end of a hot day…that’s the first one.

So, I just read a series of young adult books that I loved.

Not high literature or anything, but I totally fell into them.

The premise of the book is that an asteroid hit the moon and knocked it closer to the Earth, causing major disruption like tsunamis, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, etc.  Millions die and those that are left have to deal with starvation, epidemic, weather changes, etc.

I’ve always been drawn to reading stories about how people survived during the Great Depression.

I don’t know what it is, but there is just something about stories where people make do with what they have and still manage to survive that has pulled me in time and time again.

I loved watching Little House on the Prairie, as a kid (and as an adult, to be honest), not because of the stories (although who can resist the Laura/Nellie rivalry) but because of the way they got things done.

Life on the prairie was hard.  Life during the Depression was hard.  Life in a post-apocalyptic world with a too-close moon is hard.

And, when I read these stories, real or fiction, it always gets me thinking…how would we survive in such a situation?  Are we prepared?

Trust me, I’m not thinking the end of the world is upon us and I’m not waiting for the government to come and take away all of my belongings, but I do see some logic to some preparation.

In the days before the monkeys, I was a master couponer.

Actually, even in the early days when we just had Monkey Girl and Monkey in the Middle, I did alright with the coupons.

I had a few articles posted in some couponing magazines and people came to me for advice on saving money in the grocery story.

In those days, I had a stockpile in the basement.

Not full of  guns and ammo and anti-government paraphernalia and canned goods to the ceiling, but definitely with enough non-perishable items to get us through a serious dry spell in case anyone lost their job or there was some weird natural disaster and we couldn’t get out to buy food.

And, having just finished this series, I started thinking…maybe it’s time to stock up again.

Not like I did, but just a bit.

In the book, the hottest commodities were batteries, canned goods, and medical stuff like aspirin and inhalers.

I started thinking, maybe I should take $20 of my piano money each week and just buy a flat of bottled water, a pack of batteries and a few cans of beans or corn and just stash them away in the basement.

I’m totally suggestible, by the way.

When I read books about people who are artists, I fully believe that I could paint the Mona Lisa.

I am a moderator (an absent moderator, these days, but still a moderator thanks to a very patient and gracious website owner) of a frugal living website called The Frugal Village, and I know that many people there stockpile on a regular basis just in case of things like a job loss.

Some have amazing pictures of their stockpiles, and I’m always impressed how far they can all stretch their dollars.

Particularly because I fully believe that these monkeys can literally eat every single food item in my pantry and still be hungry for more, and when I have three teenage boys in the house, I worry that Real Man and I will need to get three jobs each just to keep them fed and satisfied.

So, I’m curious…what are your thoughts on preparedness and stockpiling and all of this stuff, and if you have a stockpile, large or small, what kinds of things are you putting away, and why do you do it?

No ridiculing each other…just plain old curiosity on my part.

Please, let me know.  As fun as it must be to listen to me ramble every day, I’d love for it to be more of a conversation!

I’m a yeller.

I’m working on it and definitely don’t yell as much as I used to, but I’m a yeller who comes from a family of yellers.

I think my kids know that my bark is worse than my bite, but I have always been mindful of trying not to yell as often as I have the impulse to.

My friend, Heather, apparently, is also a yeller, and has taken on the challenge of not yelling.

She is blogging about it here, and I would really, really love for you to check it out.

Heather is someone who inspires me in so many ways, on so many levels, with so many aspects of her life.

This is just one more to add to the list!

It’s the end of May and I felt like this might be a good time to take stock of my 20 wishes for 2013.

Almost halfway through the year, and if I am slacking in some areas, I need to get on that.

So, bear with me, but here is where we stand on the 20 wishes in 2013.

20 Wishes for 2013

1. Take the family to DisneyWorld. We’ve been talking about doing this for quite awhile and just haven’t done it. I want this to be the year.

So…yeah.

Haven’t quite gotten there with this one.

I am hoping to get a plan in place for the fall, but as of now, this is a no go.

2. Get a playset for the backyard. I want the kids to play outside more, and I know my kids and a playset would definitely do it.

Ordering it this week.

No lie.
3. Get weight down by 9 pounds AND KEEP IT THERE. Goal weight: 125

I’ve actually gained weight this year.

I’ve had some change in some medications, and I’d love to blame it on that, but I can’t be sure, and at the end of the day, I can only blame myself.

It’s something I think about every single day and I know I need to make the time for me to take care of this.

It’s important for so many reasons.

So, stay tuned on this one.  I’m on it.
4. Incorporate more vegetables into the family diet.

Working on it.

Think I’m doing a pretty good job with this one.
5. Make $1,000 by selling on eBay.

I was starting like gangbusters in January, but then things slowed down.

When summer starts again, I hope to get going again on this one.
6. Get blog readership to 200 per day average.

I’m not averaging 200 per day, yet, but there are more days where I hit 200 than I used to.

I have, however, doubled my Facebook subscribers to the My Real Life page, and I think that is a very good thing, so I’m feeling happy on this count.
7. Make home office neat, organized, and functional.

Oh, baby…we are kicking butt on this one.

We cleaned it out before setting up my writing nook, and just this weekend, hung up some pictures and diplomas and we are 3/4 of the way to perfection in there.
8. Read 50 books (and keep track!)

Halfway through the year and I am at 31 books.

Summer is always my busiest book reading time, so I have no worries that this one will be complete by August.
9. Get pictures hung. We’ve been here a year and a half and haven’t hung up our pictures yet. Drives me nuts.

This weekend, Real Man and I took hammer, nails, picture hangers and got to work.

I LOVE the results.

It just feels so much more complete.
10. Have family photo taken.

I don’t feel picture ready.

Real Man doesn’t feel picture ready.

This one is a no.
11. Really go through my closet and be ruthless with getting rid of what I don’t wear.

This is a summer project.
12. Play piano at least once a week. I teach piano lessons, so I am always at the piano, but I rarely carve out the time to play for myself. I went to college as a vocal and piano performance major and I feel like I’m neglecting that part of myself.

Nope.

I just can’t seem to find the time to do this, and when I do, Tiny wants to sit right next to me and “play” along and it’s not inspiring.
13. Only eat out once a week, if at all.

Some weeks are better than others.

Wednesdays are tough days for us because everyone needs to be in different places all at the same time and we wind up eating out on Wednesdays.

Things are about to slow down, so that will be good, and I want to get in some good practice over the summer so we don’t fall back into bad habits when school and activities start up again in the fall.
14. Write in my journal more often. I only wrote in it twice in 2012, so anything would be an improvement! I think keeping the blog up every day takes it’s place, but they have different purposes and I don’t want to neglect my journal writing.

Yes.

My writing nook has gotten me back to journaling and I love it.

Now that I’m doing it again, I realize how much I missed it.
15. Really learn about self-publishing to see if it is an option for my novel.

I am still learning much about self-publishing, but I’m not quite there, yet.

So, this is a work in progress.
16. Re-edit my novel.

I have joined several online writing groups and have joined a group that is physically going to begin meeting in July and will be working through the novel, as well as other pieces of writing of mine, through those groups.

It’s nerve-wracking but exciting.
17. Shred and pare down all of our files.

Summer project.
18. Sell the van.

DONE!!!

I cannot tell you what a relief that was.

That van was sold and that money was put away and this makes me insanely happy.
19. Take more pictures.

I’ve taken so many pictures that I have no more memory on my phone.

I don’t exactly know what to do with all of my photos.

I’ve deleted the fuzzy ones and the no-so-great ones, but I still have too many.

I’m not sure if I should save them to a DVD or have them printed out.

I just don’t know what to do with them.

However, I guess it’s a good thing that I have so many, because it shows that I’m following through on this one!
20. Be outside more.

We are outside fairly consistently these days.

Playing with sidewalk chalk, playing horse, shooting hoops, playing hockey, badminton, croquet, kicking a ball around, playing four square, volleyball…you name it, we’re doing it.

So, big yes on this one.

So, there you have it.  My update.

I think I’m doing pretty darn well and am proud of myself.

It’s a good feeling.