My Real Life

October 15, 2009

My Quest

My adult life has been one long quest.  I am searching for something that is elusive.  Something that I’m not sure I’ll ever find.  Something that I long for.  Something that I need to continue on in this life.

I am on the quest for the scariest movie ever.

I want to see a movie that scares me so much I am actually up at night, afraid to fall asleep.

Yes, that sounds strange and sick, but the truth is, I love to be scared.  I love haunted houses.  Before Baby Monkey started having the seizures, Real Man and I had booked a trip to Salem for our anniversary weekend.  I wanted to stay in one of the haunted inns they have.  I love scary things.

However, I am consistently disappointed.  Sure, some movies are scary, but not scary enough.

As a child, I fell in love with scary movies.  Poltergeist created my fear of clowns.  The original Halloween is, by far, the most suspenseful film I’ve ever seen and I still yell at the screen “Laurie!  He’s sitting up in the closet!  Turn around!  He’s alive!  He’s alive!”

When Real Man and I started dating, we were told that the scariest movie ever made was this movie called “The Last House on the Left.”  Guess what?  It wasn’t.  It wasn’t even a little scary.

Let me clarify…when I say scary, I don’t mean gory.  Gore isn’t scary.  It’s just fake blood and stuff.  That doesn’t scare me, nor does it particularly gross me out.  Gratuitous violence isn’t scary either.  Scary is suspense.  It’s things that could possibly happen.  It’s supernatural.  It’s…scary.

As an adult, there have been a few that have gotten close.  “White Noise” scared the bejesus out of me.  It wasn’t a particularly scary film, but the whole idea of the dead speaking through static…creepy.  And, maybe possible.  That’s what creeped me out.

However, “The Ring” was the closest I’ve ever gotten.  Seriously.  She climbed out of the well and then through the television screen?  That long black hair in her face.  Seriously scared me.  Lights on that night and for the next few nights after that.

I thought that I might have finally found it, tonight.  The movie “Paranormal Activity” has been touted as the scariest film of all time.  There were reports that people were leaving in the middle because they were so scared.  I think they were leaving because they were so bored.  It stunk.

So, tis the season to be scared out of your wits and I’m sitting here quite disappointed.  So, I’m asking you to share with me the scariest movies you know.  I’ve got Netflix.  I’ll rent them all.  But I need you to share the titles with me.

Please…help a girl out!

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