My Real Life

August 22, 2015

Venus and Mars at the Golf Course

We’re a mini-golf family.

We love playing mini-golf.

Okay, we love the “idea” of playing mini-golf.

Because when it comes to actually playing mini-golf, we start out like the Brady Bunch, singing songs, laughing about our errors, making some Sunshine Day memories.

By by the last hole, we are practically tossing our golf clubs at the person manning the booth, saying “Thank God that’s over. Never again.”

And, truth be told, it’s not the kids.

It’s Real Man and I.

But, our methods of destroying the fun of mini-golf differ greatly.

By the time we get to the third hole, someone has already gotten a 5, and I am excluding Tiny from this conversation, because his are all 17’s that we’ve turned into 5’s on the score card to be merciful.

As soon as someone gets frustrated with their score, Real Man swoops in and begins to “teach” them how to play.

“Stand here.”

“Hold the club like this.”

“If you line it up this way.”

“No, don’t rush…take your time and really aim your shot.”

And it’s nice, and the kids improve a little.

But when we get to the sixth hole and he’s still doing it, I start to panic.

Because by this time, the people who were two holes behind us are now waiting for us to finish each hole.

And, while I don’t mind waiting for the people in front of me, I don’t want to be the person that makes other people wait.

So, I start with my tactics.

“Monkey Girl…go ahead and start the next hole.”

“Monkey in the Middle…just tap yours in and go with Monkey Girl.”

“Yes, yes, Tiny…just pick up your ball. It’s gonna take you five minutes to push your ball into the hole that way.”

By the time it is Real Man’s turn at hole 16, I’ve already pushed everyone else on to hole 18 and the poor guy is left all alone, and then when he catches up, we yell our scores at him for the last two holes as we run to the next hole…so no one has to wait for us.

Mid-course, we come together again for the “cool” hole.

And then we all golf together, in solidarity, because of this:

But then it starts again.

And when we finally get to hole 18, which is the awesome hole where if you get a hole in one, you win a free game, I’m saying things like “Wow! You almost got it!” out loud, but in my head I’m thinking, “If one of them wins that free game, I’m going to shoot myself.”

We get in the car and tally the scores, although they are all almost always the same.

Real Man always wins by a lot.

Probably because he is taking his time, lining up his shot, and imagining the ball going into the hole.

The next four are a crap shoot, depending on who was able to actually make the shots with their mother hurrying them along, and then Tiny rounds out the herd, yelling things like “72! That’s such a great number! I winned with 72!”

And I sigh and think “Never again.”

Until the next time.




August 20, 2015

Gone Country

I have an on-again/off-again relationship with country music.

I think it’s safe to say that I hated country music for a good 37 years.

Then, I decided to give it a listen, and I found that the country music of today isn’t quite like the country music of my childhood.

It had a beat, it had a story, and I found myself liking it more and more, until it is now one of the most listened to stations in my car.

However, every now and then, I’ll have my fill, and stay away for a few months, if only for the fact that there aren’t as many country artists as there are mainstream, and so if you listen for a few hours, it all begins to repeat itself.

But, it’s safe to say, I’m a country fan.

So, imagine my delight when some of my fellow teachers approached me and asked if I’d like to channel my inner Miranda Lambert for the student/staff Talent Show, this past spring.

I said yes, they said they’d sing back-up, and here’s what we did:

That. Was. Fun.

I love to perform, I love an audience, but more than anything, I loved playing with my colleagues.

We had a blast practicing, changing things, refining the act, and when it was over, the talk turned to “What should we do next year?”

Life is so much better when you enjoy the people you work with, and they embrace your weird.

Which is lucky for me.

Because most of me … is weird.

March 31, 2015


Filed under: Posts with Video,Uncategorized — Amy @ 6:00 am

It’s been awhile since I’ve written, and I’m disappointed in myself, because I was doing great in 2015.

And then we hit the end of February and time just flew away from me.

But, to be honest, I was busy with some pretty amazing things.

And, those amazing things all involved her.

To begin with, Monkey Girl and I were selected to participate in Morristown’s Got Talent, a local talent competition.

Calling it that makes it sound small.

It’s not.

It was pretty huge, and more importantly, it was so much fun to experience it with Monkey Girl.

And here is our act: (sorry it’s so fuzzy)

We didn’t win the competition, but I have to be honest…

My daughter asked me to perform with her and we had a blast.

It was an experience we will share forever.

Oh, and we did with the selfie contest.

Then, the culmination of months of hard work followed two weeks later, as Monkey Girl performed in our school’s production of Beauty and the Beast.

She was Belle and she was amazing.

There is no video to go along with this, but here is one of her pieces in the show.

My girl.

But, here’s why I’m titling this particular post “Her.”

These two things were incredibly time consuming.

Incredibly nerve-wracking.

And yet…

Monkey Girl did it all.

On her own.

I didn’t run lines with her.

I didn’t practice her songs with her.

I didn’t monitor that she was getting her homework done.

And yet…

She memorized it all.

She rocked it all.

She ended the marking period with A’s and A+’s in difficult classes with a lot of coursework.

By herself.

And I couldn’t be prouder.

April 9, 2013

Everyone Needs a Laugh Tuesday

Filed under: Posts with Video,Uncategorized — Amy @ 6:00 am

I think I am hilarious.

I say things and laugh and laugh and when I stop laughing I look at those around me and…


Apparently, Tiny takes after me.

Kid is his own best audience.

He does stuff and cracks up and if we don’t laugh hard enough he says “Tiny funny!”

Here is Tiny in action.

What’s he doing, you might ask?

Watching a video of himself.

Who needs a laugh track when you can laugh at yourself?

Want some more laughs?

Then make sure to order I Just Want to Pee Alone!

Now THAT’S funny stuff!

January 28, 2013

Saturday Night with my Girl

Filed under: Posts with Video,Uncategorized — Amy @ 6:00 am

We had our first full-day play rehearsal on Saturday.

I’m the musical director, so I sit in the pit and conduct the singing and work with the pit band leader on tempo, breaks, repeats, etc.

Monkey Girl is one of the lead orphans, (we’re doing “Annie”) and when the kids aren’t on stage, they are hanging out in the cafeteria, practicing lines, dances, or just hanging out.

Apparently, on Saturday, the kids were busy trying to figure out how to do the “Cup Song” from the movie Pitch Perfect.

Monkey Girl came home, slamming cups around, trying to work it out.

She’s never actually seen Pitch Perfect, so I pulled out the DVD and skipped through to that scene.

Once she actually saw the scene, she had a bit more rhythm to her slamming.

I knew there had to be a tutorial on YouTube because, seriously, what isn’t there a tutorial for on YouTube?

I found one, sat down, learned it for myself, called her into the room, offered to teach it to her, and then the fun began.

Real Man and the boys were very patient with us, even when Real Man came into the room asking “You girls got that down yet?”

Finally, we did.

Then, we added the song.  Monkey Girl is still working on doing both at the same time, but here’s what I came up with:

We had a lot of fun and this was definitely one of my favorite Saturday nights.

December 20, 2012

Video Blog – Contest Winner!

Filed under: Posts with Video,Uncategorized — Amy @ 6:00 am

November 23, 2012

Why I’m Fine With It

Filed under: Posts with Video — Amy @ 6:00 am

So, Thanksgiving is over, and it’s time for the holiday season to start.

I know people were pretty outraged when stores started playing holiday music and decorating for Christmas the day after Halloween, and I feel like that is rushing it a bit, but I have to be honest…

It doesn’t bother me too much.


Because, as the holidays get closer, this is the kind of thing that goes on in my home on a fairly regular basis.

And I love it.

Daily Gratitude, Day 23

Today I am grateful for the music in my life.

October 6, 2012

Chasing “Dogs”

Filed under: Posts with Video — Amy @ 6:00 am

While Monkey in the Middle had football practice yesterday afternoon, the other three monkeys and I hit the park.

And then Tiny decided to chase dogs, which he calls “QuaQua’s.”

Except, they weren’t QuaQua’s.

But don’t tell him.

August 18, 2012

Real Entertainment

Filed under: Posts with Video — Amy @ 6:00 am

Recently, someone said, “From the blog, it seems like you guys just play card games and do puzzles and have conversations and that kind of stuff.  Are your kids normal?”

Of course they are normal.

We do a lot of what the questioner mentioned, but we do more of the following:

July 22, 2012

Grandma’s House

Filed under: Posts with Video — Amy @ 6:00 am

Grandma’s House has toys…


…and plain, old family time.

Unless you are 11, that is.

And completely oblivious to what is going on around you.

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