I’m not perfect.
Not by any stretch of the imagination.
Real Man is incredibly patient with me. The minister even made a point of it in our wedding vows…”He is incredibly PATIENT, Amy.”
Like I’m such a trial to have to live with.
However, there are some things I do that drive him up the wall.
Now, I didn’t consult him for this list, so these are simply my assumptions.
I’m sure he’ll chime in if I get something wrong, but I think, if anything, he may have some to add to the list.
‘Cuz I’m a trip.
So, here are the Top 5 Things That I Do that Drive Real Man Crazy:
1. Leave the drain catcher thingy out of the drain.
In our old house, where we lived for almost 7 years, we had a garbage disposal.
I realize we haven’t lived there in a year and a half, but I got very, very used to that garbage disposal.
So, every now and then, I forget to put the drain catcher thingy in the drain when I’m cleaning dishes in the sink.
Okay, maybe not every now and then.
Maybe a lot.
Maybe 9 times out of 10.
So, there’s always gunk jamming up the drain, which I never notice until the last minute because the sink is also always full of dishes.
(Emptying the dishwasher is Monkey Girl’s job…she’s not always on top of it.)
So, when Real Man walks to the sink, he says “Who didn’t put the drain in the sink???”
And it’s always me.
2. Leave the laundry in the dryer.
Sunday mornings usually go like this:
Real Man: I’m going to start the laundry.
Me: Oh, honey, don’t worry, I got it.
Sunday nights around 9 pm usually go like this.
Real Man: Sweetie, where are the clean clothes?
Me: Oh…um…still in the dryer.
Real Man: Are they still drying?
Real Man: How long have they been sitting in the dryer?
Me: Since 10 am.
Real Man: Okay, see you in the morning.
And then he winds up staying up until midnight rewashing and drying the clothes.
I have good intentions.
I just get distracted.
3. Make baked mac and cheese for dinner.
Don’t get me wrong.
As I’ve explained several times, Real Man is fantastic about eating what I make and smiling his way through it and encouraging the monkeys to do the same.
That does not, however, mean that he likes it.
Particularly when I make baked macaroni and cheese.
I don’t really know anyone who doesn’t like macaroni and cheese, except Real Man.
However, the monkeys like it and it’s one meal that I make that doesn’t get any complaints from the kids.
So, he smiles and eats it.
But he doesn’t like it.
4. Play on the iPad while I’m watching television.
I’ve discussed this before, as well, but it’s worth repeating.
By the time we settle in to watch something on the telly at night, I’m pretty zonked.
So, if I want to stay awake through the show, I need to be doing something else.
Multitasking keeps me awake.
So, while we watch tv, I play Words With Friends, Candy Crush, hop on Facebook or Twitter, work on the blog, etc.
Real Man is sure this means I’m not paying attention, however, when asked, I can tell him every single thing that was said on the screen in the past five minutes, and analyze it’s importance to the show.
It drives him bananas.
5. Get upset when he doesn’t respond immediately when I text.
I’m an instant gratification kinda girl.
Yes, I grew up in the 70’s and 80’s before the days of the cell phone, On Demand television, and the internet, but I’ve become accustomed to it all very quickly.
And I. Want. It. Now.
So, when I text Real Man, it drives me bonkers when he doesn’t respond immediately.
I realize he may very possibly be in the middle of a meeting with his boss or speaking with a client or running a meeting or managing his team.
However, I just sent a text and I want a response yesterday.
Aside from the instant gratification, he’s also a very amusing texter, so sometimes I just need a little pick me up.
January 25, 2013 3:54 pm
Me: Can you pick up a pizza on the way home? I didn’t have time to get the pizza stuff and it was a long, weird day and I still have school work to do.
January 25, 2013 4:35 pm
Real Man: I’m confused…I thought you wanted pizza?
Me: Smarty pants.
Real Man: What is it…pizza? Honey? Or pants?
Me: Pizza pants?
Real Man: What would you like on your pizza pants?
Me: Half plain, half corduroy.
Me: His phone is his alarm clock and it died overnight, so he’s running really late.
Real Man: Wow.
Me: No shit.
Real Man: Oh…he was constipated too? Bad morning.
Cuz, that’s kinda the way we work.
So, I like hearing back from him, because you never know what you’re gonna get.
Which means, some texts go like this.
Me: Hi sweetie. I’ll bring Monkey in the Middle to the rink at 5. Okay?
Me: You know, there is no purpose in having a cell with a texting plan if you aren’t going to use it.
Real Man: I’m sorry…did you need something? I was in a meeting.
Because like the minister said, he’s extremely patient with me.