My Real Life

January 21, 2012

Friday Night Shenanigans

So, I don’t know what you all do for fun on a Friday night, but around here, this is what we do.

While Monkey Girl practices her flute at the kitchen table (because her practice space in the library, apparently, isn’t good enough), the boys and I dance around like fools.

During some songs, the boys bust out the recorders and play along with her.

It gets loud.

But then, as I’ve mentioned before, it’s always pretty loud around here.

I like her band teacher, because he’s got them playing songs like “Jump” by Van Halen.

Nothing like a 5th grade band playing some 80’s rock.

Maybe next week they’ll get some Def Leppard.


Then, she starts practicing the theme from StarWars and the boys and I decide to re-enact the scene at the end of StarWars, where Princess Leia gives the boys the medals.

I play Luke Skywalker.

Monkey in the Middle plays Han Solo, and gives a super cute wink when he gets his medal.

If I were Leia, I’d have swooned.

Baby Monkey portrays Chewbacca.

He plays a mean wookie.

Then, we switch roles and Baby Monkey plays Han as he is frozen.

Then, the 6 of us sit around and try to see who can make the best Wookie sound.

Tiny makes a pretty good Wookie.

Looking back, I should have recorded that part of the evening.

If you heard it, your lives would never be the same.

Then, we put the kids to bed.

It’s a Friday night, so they have a sleepover in Monkey Girl’s bed.

After we let them get comfy and snuggly, Real Man and I climb into bed with them, and elbow them and scootch around and say “This is how it feels when people who shouldn’t be sleeping in your bed come in in the middle of the night and take up all the space.”

The monkeys find this hilarious.

I realize I’m actually pretty comfy and don’t want to get out of the bed, but then Monkey in the Middle moves and his elbow digs into my back and I remember the point we were trying to make and I hop out.

Then, Real Man and I snuggle up and play Words With Friends against each other, while sitting next to each other, instead of pulling out the actual Scrabble board.

We’re a very 21st century couple.

Or something.

So, there it is…our rockin’ Friday night.

Very different than our Friday nights when we were dating.

Cuz, you know, we didn’t used to have kids.

January 20, 2012

Nothing Cuter

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 6:00 am
Tags: , , ,

There is nothing cuter than a happy baby in his bath.


Except, perhaps, a happy baby in his bath with a shampoo mohawk.

January 19, 2012

Observations from the Laundry Room

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 6:00 am
Tags: , , , ,

So, I was in the laundry room the other day.

Doing laundry.

As I am doing with almost every waking moment of my life.

As I pulled out, yet another, item from someone’s pocket and put it on the windowsill where I put all my laundry treasures, I thought, “You know, Amy…you should blog about this.  About your laundry treasures.  Because everyone out in the world wide web world has been dying to see what you find in the laundry.  I just know it.”

Thus, this post was born.

Here is the windowsill where I put my laundry treasures.

I line them up and if anyone wants to come and claim them, they are more than welcome to do so.

Otherwise, out they go.

If it meant so little to you that you couldn’t be bothered to remember it was in your pocket when you took off your pants, I’m not hunting you down to tell you I found it.

Item #1:

This came from the pocket of Monkey Girl.

I don’t know why she took it off, but I’m imagining a moment in school, where her teacher said, “Monkey Girl…if that ring is going to continue to distract you, maybe you should take it off.”

Off it went, into the pocket, and out of sight, out of mind.

If memory serves, there will be a million more of these little, adjustable rings to come into my house before she graduates from high school.

One in the trash isn’t going to kill her.

Item #2:

Also from the pockets of Monkey Girl.

Luckily, I pulled this out BEFORE it went through the dryer.

There is always a tube of lip balm on the windowsill in the laundry room.

My girl has gorgeous, Angelina Jolie lips.

If she doesn’t keep them well covered in lip balm, she gets very uncomfortable.

She complains about those lips being too big and we keep telling her that women shoot toxins into their lips to get the look she has naturally.

To that, she just says, “Gross.”

Item #3:

I’m not sure what this was.

I had never seen it before.

I’m not sure whose pockets it came from.

I’m guessing one of the boys.

It made it through the washer and the dryer.

I pulled it out, played with it a little, and tossed it.

Item #4:

Believe it or not, we have a dice collection.

Big dice, small dice, strangely shaped dice, bronze dice, etc.

Found this in the dryer, also.

Added it to the collection.

Item #5:

Um…this came out of my pocket.

So, I put it in my wallet.

Other people’s money goes in my wallet, too.

You do the laundry, you reap the rewards.

Now, there is also this bag in the laundry room.

Do you know what this bag is?

Can you guess?

Unmatched socks.

I have at least one sock to add to the bag every single time I do the laundry.

Then, when the bag is full, I pay Monkey Girl $5 to make any matches she can.

She takes an hour, dumps the bag, and makes matches.

5 matches later, she’s done, and the other hundred mismatched socks go back in the bag.

I don’t want to talk about it.
So, those are my observations from the laundry room.

Don’t worry…I’m not going to make this a regular post.

I think.

January 18, 2012

Wordless Wednesday

Filed under: Wordless Wednesday — Amy @ 6:00 am

January 17, 2012

Bad Driver

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 6:00 am
Tags: , ,

See this?

This means I’m a bad driver.

Oh, it may look innocuous enough.

A plain, old dashboard.

However, it’s those numbers and letters at the top that tell the tale.

12.3 MPG

You’ll remember, this used to be Real Man’s truck, before he bought the Jeep.

When I inherited the truck, it was getting 13 MPG, and in the five months I’ve been driving it, I’ve been watching that number steadily decline.

I’m a rev-er.

I can’t help it.

I always give it the extra gas.

My first thought was, “Well, I drive Tiny to his sitter’s house every morning and it is one huge uphill drive to get there.”

Then I remembered we used to live at the top of a street called Mt. Way, and Real Man drove up that street…every day.

My next thought was, “Well, I do a lot of stop/start driving, since all of my stops are local…I don’t really get going anywhere so the mileage doesn’t have a chance to even out.”

Then I remembered that Real Man takes most of the same roads to and from work.

So, it just comes down to me and my lead foot.

I’m working on it…I am.

In my next car, I want the feature that Real Man has in the Jeep.

When you are driving economically, a little green light that reads “ECO” pops up on the dashboard.

When I drive the Jeep, it’s a game I play with myself to see how well I can drive it.

I need the visual reminder of how I’m supposed to drive.

Without it…

Well, without it,

Here we are.

January 16, 2012

The One Where I Can’t Come Up With a Title

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 6:00 am
Tags: , ,

Baby Monkey loves to make things.

He loves Legos and blocks and Tinker Toys and anything that allows him to construct.

This includes construction paper and tape.

The child uses copious amounts of construction paper and tape.

He’s made me a purse, a wallet, decorations for Tiny’s room, new dishes for the kitchen.

All out of construction paper and tape.

And if this kid doesn’t get a job at Boeing when he grows up, after all the paper airplanes he’s made, I’ll be shocked.

Yet, nothing…nothing could have prepared me for the creations he came up with this weekend.

Imagine, sitting at the kitchen table, going through the mail when this walks into the room:

Apparently, he was a fancy lady wearing her bikini, sunglasses, and fancy lady hat ready for a day at the beach.

Construction paper isn’t just for making stuff anymore.

It’s for wearin’!

Later, he came up as Batman…complete with Bat slippers, Bat ears, and the Bat symbol.

The bathing suit he created for boys was hysterical, but considering that’s all he came upstairs wearing, at one point, I think I’ll keep that picture for just the fam.

So, pardon my lack of a title, but he renders his Mama speechless sometimes.

He’s creative.

He’s hysterical.

He’s all mine.

January 15, 2012

14 for the 14th

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 6:00 am
Tags: ,

I read a blog, a week or two ago, where the blogger decided to chronicle her day through photos.

She took as many photos as it was days into January.

I think it was the 4th.

Now, I wish I had gotten my act together and actually done this on the fourth, as there would have been only four photos to take.

No.  Not me.

I decided to do it on the fourteenth.

So, how many photos needed to be taken?

Yep.  Fourteen.

However, I guess it does go along with one of my 2012 goals to take more photos.

I didn’t specify what quality the photos had to be.


So, here was my Saturday the 14th in photos.

I had to stage this photo at 6:00 am, because I didn’t have the presence of mind to pick up the camera at 3:17 am, when I was actually woken up for the first time, being summoned by Tiny Monkey to come give him a cuddle.

However, the first thing I did when I woke up on the 14th was look at this clock, and this is what it said.

Give me strength.

When 6:00 am rolled around, I was being summoned, yet again, by Tiny Monkey, who is usually a good little sleeper, but, apparently, growing 2 molars and 2 canines at the same time is too much for him, and, so, sleep is a thing of the past.

It will return, but not any time soon.

Such a baby, that one.

Anyway, we stumbled downstairs to find his older brothers were already up, and were happy to see him eat up some Cheerios, while Mommy made herself a cup of tea.

Once I had some tea in me, I got down to business with some laundry…

…and when that was done, I played in the living room with Tiny and his tiny toys.

I drove my impossibly beautiful, impossibly almost 11 year old girl to choir practice.

While she was at choir, I hit the bank and the lottery store.

I had been given a scratch-off lottery ticket, for my birthday, from my father-in-law, and I won $10.00.

So, since it was, essentially, free money, I turned those winnings around into 4 tickets for a big jackpot (fingers, toes and parts of me I didn’t know could cross are crossed, hoping for a win!) and a few more scratch-offs.

Couldn’t resist the Zombie scratch-offs.

And guess what?

I won $10.00!


Picked up my girl and we headed to Target for journaling pens, candles, Baby Tylenol and a skirt for Monkey Girl.

And, this cart is evidence why I generally tend to stay far away from Target.

We drove Real Man’s Jeep so we could listen to satellite radio.

Sugar Ray came on.

I really, really liked Sugar Ray.

Something about their music made me smile.

Not deep or particularly musical, but fun.

When we got home, I made a double-batch of sauce with a double-batch of sausage and meatballs.

So good.

So good.

I read with my Nook for the iPad.

And when it dinged that someone had made a move on one of my Words With Friends games, I played my letters back.

I used my new journaling pens to write in my current journal, which felt good because it’s been awhile since I’ve taken actual pen to actual paper.

I also spent some time rearranging my bookshelves, as my Dad and I have combined our Michael Connelly collection, and I spilled over onto a new shelf.

After dinner, I played hard at Wii Tennis with Monkey in the Middle.

We now play every day, and play about 10-15 games.

It’s really nice time with him, doing something he loves.

Wow, and that’s 14 photos of what I did on the 14th.

There were so many other moments, throughout the day, but the camera wasn’t always handy, and even when it was, even I was unwilling to break the spell by pulling out the camera.

I kind of like this type of entry.

Nice to be able to look back at the photos and see exactly what I did with my day.

I think I might do this again.

On the 1st.

January 14, 2012

My New Obsession

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 6:00 am
Tags: , , , ,

I. Love. Words. With. Friends.

I love it.

I do.

And I’m not even particularly good at it.

I currently have 16 games going on.



For those who are unfamiliar with the game, it’s Scrabble, but you play online.

The game can take minutes, hours, days or weeks, as most participants (like me) have to go about their daily lives in the midst of playing.

My “active” time is early morning and late night.  I get as much WWF in as I can during those times.

Because it’s fun.

Real Man started playing, also, and I love playing against him.

We both love playing Scrabble together, but don’t get a lot of time to sit down together with the actual board.

This is an excellent solution.

Despite the name, you don’t actually have to play with friends.

You can start a game with random people, as well.

Could save your life.

Don’t believe me?

Read this.

The monkeys like to make suggestions for “words.”

The quote marks are due to the fact that most of the words that Monkey in the Middle suggests aren’t actual words, but really great efforts to get me as many points as possible.

Words like “JZXQ.”

God, I wish that was a word.

So, I suggest Words With Friends for anyone who likes to play Scrabble or just likes to exercise their brain.

It is absolutely addicting, but a healthy addiction…if there is such a thing.

January 13, 2012

Magical Books

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 6:00 am
Tags: , , ,

My friend, Heather, sent me a link to this YouTube video last night.

She said she saw it and thought of me.

And I’m so grateful.

Because I love it.

I’ve watched it so many times, since she sent it, I could probably tell you which book is going to do what and when.

It’s magical.

I’ve always dreamed/wished/hoped/thought that books, which are full of stories of incredible journeys, human passion, hysterical laughter, and more life than most people life in their lifetimes, came alive at night.  Although I always imagined the words moved around and the stories changed, or the characters popped off the pages and acted out their stories for the other characters.

In my imagination, libraries and bookstores were always most exciting after hours.

So, watch, enjoy and may it captivate your imagination as it did mine.

If nothing else…be impressed with the amount of time and tedious work it took to make.

January 12, 2012

Lies I Tell My Children

I’m a liar.

A big fat liarpants.

My pants are on fire and there is no extinguisher big enough to put them out.

I don’t set out to lie to my monkeys, but sometimes the lies just sort of spill out of my mouth.

However, I take comfort in the fact that most of us lie to our children, so I am not alone.

And, they aren’t harmful lies.

So, no harm, no foul.


Lie #1:

“When I was your age, I didn’t have anything to keep me occupied in the car and I actually had to TALK to my parents!”

When I Tell It:

I tell this lie when the kids are rushing around, looking for a DS or some electronic gadget to play with in the car while we drive the 5 minutes across town to karate or choir or some other activity.


I always, always had a book in the car.

I rarely spoke to my parents when we were in the car.

My Dad was always blasting 50’s music from the radio when he drove.  If I would start to have a conversation, I’d get to the middle of my sentence and he’d lean over and hold up a finger and say “Just a minute, Aim…I LOVE this part!” and if it was possible to turn it up louder, he would.  My sentence, my story forgotten in the magic of DooWop.

If my Mom was behind the wheel, it was hymns that were blasting from the religious station, and, quite frankly, I couldn’t get lost in my book fast enough.

My books were my saviors in the car and I never had to talk to my parents when we were driving.

Lie #2:

“The only way I was allowed to stay home from school was if I was dead!”

When I Tell It:

I use this one when someone is clearly not sick enough to stay home, but they are giving an Oscar-worthy performance.


I stayed home from school a time or two.

I’m still kickin’.

Lie #3:

“When I was little, I would NEVER have complained about what my Mother made for dinner!  I ate it and I liked it!”

When I Tell It:

Whenever I make: beef stroganoff, baked mac and cheese with cream of mushroom soup mixed in, tator tot casserole


Truth be told, my Mom was a pretty kick-ass cook when I was a kid.

However, when she made certain things, I complained.


I did have to eat it.

But I absolutely, positively, 100% did not like it.

Lie #4:

“I wouldn’t have dreamed of using that kind of language when I was a kid!”

When I Tell It:

When the kids are using questionable language.

Now, you have to understand that in our house, the “S” word is “stupid,” the “F” word is “fat,” and the “D” word is “dummy.”

Well, except for Monkey in the Middle’s occasional excursions into “damn-ville.”

So, it’s not like we’ve got a late-night cable show going on over here, but, still…we’re trying to put off the real bad language as long as possible.

The Truth:

Technically, NOT a lie.

I didn’t dream of using those words.

I said those words.

I said worse words than that.

I said them a lot.

There are more lies I tell my kids.

Lies like “Santa’s watching” and “If you just close your eyes, you’ll fall fast asleep.”

I also tell lies like, “I’ve never seen a drawing of a tree look so realistic!” and “That is the coolest rock I’ve ever seen!’

There are lies of omission: “Oh, I didn’t mention we had to stop at the grocery store on the way to the park?”

And there are lies to soothe the nerves: “Baby, no one will even notice the happy face drawn in permanent marker on the side of your face.”

It’s kind of a part of parenting that you don’t know is coming until it starts.

And once it starts, you, strangely, fall into it with ease.

Do I feel guilty about it?

A little.

Part of me feels like I’m teaching my kids to bend the truth to get what they want, but then I remember they won’t realize these were lies until they have their own kids, and they are telling the same stories and coming to the same realizations that I’m coming to, today.

Except for Santa.

Monkey Girl is cool with it.

But when Monkey in the Middle finds out, there will be hell to pay.

However, in the long run, do I think it’s going to harm my children in any way, shape or form?

Absolutely not.

Probably not.



« Previous PageNext Page »

Theme: Rubric. Get a free blog at