My Real Life

August 11, 2011

Boardwalk Empire

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 8:00 am

Last night we hit the boardwalk.

Actually, yesterday afternoon, my brother-in-law and sister-in-law drove down for the day and took Monkey Girl and Monkey in the Middle with them to the water park across the street from the Boardwalk, due to extra wristbands they had.  Then, we met up at the boardwalk and the monkeys and their cousins had almost 3 full hours of Boardwalk ridin’ fun.

They had a blast and there was a lot of “You go with those kids, I’ll go with these kids,” and I usually wound up with Baby Monkey and Tiny Monkey, so I don’t have many pictures to share, but I do have a few.

However, before sharing the cute ones of the kids, you must indulge me.

Perhaps you remember last year when I posted this post about the dead psychic on the Boardwalk?

Okay, technically, she wasn’t actually dead, since she opened her eyes soon after I snapped this shot.

Still, you see my penchant for snapping photos of people who aren’t members of the family if they strike me as…”interesting.”

Well, this woman was “interesting.”

She was wearing a tube-top, which in and of itself is not a rarity at the Jersey Shore.

However, stuck in between her cleavage, which was actually non-existent, based on the level to which the tube-top part of the “outfit” had fallen, was an ice pack.

Yes, it was hot, but ice pack out of the freezer in the cleavage hot?

I’m not so sure about that.

I was concerned that between the low-rise tube top and the weight of the ice pack, we’d soon be seeing a lot more than we bargained for.

So, interesting?

You betcha.

Then, Real Man shot this photo of me facing one of my biggest fears.

Okay, he was plastic, but as I’m typing this I am thinking about what I would have done if the “statue” had leaned over and started talking to me.

Now I have goosebumps.

Now I won’t sleep tonight.

Way to go.

Hopefully these cute shots of the monkeys and their cousins will help.

Probably not.

But, maybe.

August 10, 2011

Wordless Wednesday – Evening

Filed under: Wordless Wednesday — Amy @ 7:52 am

August 9, 2011

Just Sayin’

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 7:12 am

Last night, my parents decided to treat us to a dinner out.

We ate at a local Italian restaurant, here at the shore, and it was delicious.

So, I am not complaining about the meal.

At all.


#1  If you are going to own a place of business with bathrooms for public use, just call them “Men” and “Women.”

I’d even be down with the more cutesy “Boys” and “Girls” or the refined “Gents” and “Ladies.”

However, when I gotta go, I gotta go, and I don’t need to be standing in front of two doors, one marked “Cappuccino” and the other “Espresso” and wondering which one is for me.

#2  Look, I get it.  Waiters and waitresses are busy waiting tables.  However, I do enough of this at home, and I don’t need to be the person who changes the toilet paper roll in your restaurant, too.

If it had just been once, I might be able to forgive, but we ate here last week, too, and guess who had to change the roll?  And, honestly, it happens to me everywhere I go…work, restaurants, friends houses, doctors offices…

And before you start in on my frequent trips to the bathroom and start imagining me as one of those pipe people from the commercials, keep in mind I have 4 kids who never have to “go” before we leave the house, but always need to “go” as soon as we get there.

So, the moral is…assign someone to paper duty, cuz I’m not your maid, too.

August 8, 2011


Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 7:15 am

Someday, I will not be covered in spit up when I go out in public.

Someday, I will eat a hot meal.

Someday, I will own a sedan.

Someday, there will be no fruit snacks in my house.

Someday, my tv won’t turn on to the Disney Channel, nor my radio to Radio Disney.

Someday, it won’t be routine to wipe someone’s bottom during my day.

Someday, Real Man and I will be able to have an entire conversation, uninterrupted.

Someday, I will not know the name of every SuperHero and their villainous counterpart.

Someday, I will walk through my house carefree, unconcerned about stepping on an unseen toy.

Someday, I won’t be too tired to stay up and watch late-night tv.

Someday, I’ll sleep in past 5:30.

Someday, there will be no messy little faces to clean up.

Someday, there will be no little hands to hold.

Someday, there will be no little sweaty heads to kiss.

Someday, there will be no little bodies to snuggle.

Someday, there will be no sweet little voices saying “I love you.”

Someday, Real Man’s lives and I will be our own.
Someday, I’m going to miss those babies so much, my heart will break.

August 7, 2011


Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 7:03 am

So, Heather at Beauty That Moves wrote an interesting post yesterday about Lady Gaga, and as I read, I had to admit that I haven’t really given her much of a chance.

Poker Face drives me nuts, as a musical composition, but some of her other stuff doesn’t make my ears bleed, so I’ve been somewhat neutral where she is concerned.

I read Heather’s blog yesterday, and decided to sit for a few minutes and give her a real listen.

I have to say, the girl can sing, and I’m impressed.

The psychologists daughter in me can’t help but wonder what she’s hiding behind all those costumes, but then I remember Elton John and I realize that some people just love the pizazz.

So, check her out in her performance on The View.  When you get the chance to just listen to her and not be (too) distracted by the “stuff” she’s pretty darn good!

August 6, 2011

The Beach in Pictures

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 6:51 am

Here’s what we’ve been up to, Week One at the Beach!

Can’t wait to see what Week 2 brings!

August 5, 2011

Five Question Friday

Filed under: Five Question Friday — Amy @ 7:23 am
1. Do you have siblings and are you close with them?
Not only do I not have any siblings…I also don’t have any cousins.
2. Would you rather be slightly UNDER weight or slightly OVER weight?
I can’t lie.
Under weight.
I want to say something completely and awesomely empowered, like, weight doesn’t matter or slightly over weight would make me strong and proud, but if I had to be one or the other, I’d rather be slightly under weight, if I’m honest.
And, I must add here, that some of that has to do with my diabetes.  Any bit over weight puts me that much closer to a needle and some insulin, and I’m SO not going there.
3. What’s your favorite State Fair food to splurge on?
Again with the State Fair question?
Never been, don’t know.
4. What are your thoughts on your kid(s) going to school in a few weeks?
My kids love school, so I’m excited for them.
I’m excited to go back to school, as well, and get started on this school year, meet my new students, do some learnin’.
However, I’m going to miss my monkeys, and that does make me sad.
I’m definitely not the parent in the Staples commercial who is dancing behind the shopping cart to “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year,” if that’s what you are asking.
5. Pool or Ocean?
Love the waves, the sand, the breeze.
I’m an ocean girl.

August 4, 2011

Guest Blogger – Shane Smith

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 7:40 am
Tags: ,

So, you know how cool it is when someone you know does something you didn’t realize they can do and it’s awesome???

That’s how I’m feeling today.

Shane Smith and I graduated from high school together and have been navigating the world of Facebook, one status update (or on my end, a million status updates) at a time for awhile now.

Then, two days ago, Shane posts this fantastic piece of writing about the world of Facebook which had me laughing out loud, and I was like, ‘Huh!  Who knew Shane could write?’

Okay, let me clarify, of course he can write…we graduated from high school together.

What I mean is, the man can write!

So, Shane agreed to let me repost his writing, today, and be my guest blogger!

So, please welcome my first guest blogger, Shane Smith!

And, be honest with yourself after reading…which category are you?


“Set me free, why don’t you babe?

Get out my life, why don’t you babe?

‘Cause you don’t really love me…

…you just keep me hanging on.”       Kim Wilde, 1987 BF (Before Facebook)          

Which Facebook ME Are YOU?

by Shane Smith

For me, Facebook is the “babe” in Kim Wilde’s classic 80’s song. I’ve been almost off Facebook more times than the 7 stranded castaways on the Isle of Gilligan. But  the reasons why I beg Facebook to get out of my life are the very things that keep me hanging on. And it’s not the “you” in Facebook that does it…it’s the “mes.” Allow me to explain.

In high school, thanks to John Hughes, we all fit neatly into one of 5 social categories, right? You were either a Brain, Jock, Princess, Basket Case, or Judd Nelson. Now with all due respect to the late Mr. Hughes, none of us actually believed this to be true. I, for one, was built like Molly Ringwald, had Ally Sheedy’s dandruff, and longed to be the brainy, jocky version of the Judd Nelson rebel…minus the Judd Hirsch honker.

Nevertheless, I must steal a page from the Gospel According to John Hughes and apply this same “5 social categories” principle to you Facebookers. Or, as I like to call it, “The 5 MES of the Social Network”.

So which Facebook ME are YOU? 

Are you a “Hey, remember ME”?

These aren’t actual Facebookers…they’re YearBookers. They’re the first to scan and post pics from old yearbooks and photo albums from the good ol’ days. If it were up to them, we’d celebrate reunions like birthdays and we wouldn’t need Netfix…because we’d just rent old home movies from each other during homeroom. And we’d buy the lie that we look as good in bathing suits today as we did in all those spring break pics we “just happened to find” and post while visiting mom. Shame on ME!

Are you a “Hey, look at ME”?

These are the FaceHookers. The ones voted most likely to turn their cell phone cameras around and pimp themselves out…daily. If they have children, they’ll occasionally exploit them too…but their children are more like trophies that help shine the spotlight onto “look at ME”. Or better yet, garnishes that attempt to enhance the presentation of cheap meat. And for many a FaceHooker, real tricks are being turned. Ever notice how it’s always summer in their world, their clothing stores ran out of sleeves, and their cell phone cameras are Velcroed to their bathroom mirrors?

Are you a “Hey, Facebook’s not really for ME”?

These are the FakeBookers and FaceLookers. They sign up for Facebook, go on a 24-hour friending spree, only to hide in the Facebook protection program behind the same years-old profile pic/smug shot. They know who they are, and we’re not fooled by their ambivalence toward social networking. They secretly monitor our every post, pic, and nip slip. They’re not quite voyeurs, stalkers, or gawkers…they’re more like the hall monitors of middle school, the narcs of high school, and the nosy old neighbor who peeks through her blinds every G-damn time my kids so much as breathe within 300 feet of her house. Sorry, where was I?     

Are you a “Hey, help ME”?

These are the FaceHaters and FaceBaiters who routinely bitch and cry for help from the BFFs they should text in private in the event of a real emergency. For every blunt “I’m not happy with my life” or whiny “I can’t fall asleep” there’s a vague, almost redemption-fueled cry like “You know who you are” or “I know what you did last summer!” And we’re all stupid enough to take the bait because “the boy who cried wolf” is the only parable that made any sense to us growing up. Note to the “Help MES” of Facebook: In the event of an actual emergency, you can just dial 1-800-GET-OFF-THE-F**KING-COMPUTER!

Are you a “Hey, nothing…just hey from ME”?

These are the FaceInvaders who abduct our news feeds with hackneyed links and mindless musings about the contents of their refrigerators, closets, and shitters. They’re narcissistic enough to believe their midnight jaunts to 7-Eleven for Big Gulps are as newsworthy as dancing the jig with the bulls in Pamplona. Every crap they take is 1010 WINS-worthy. Maybe they share the mundane so we can feel their pain? Or maybe they fancy themselves as the Dos Equis man of Facebook…when, in fact, they are the least interesting men and women in the world.

OR…and if you’ve been tagged in this Note there’s a good chance you are…

Are you one of the rare, relevant, and refreshing Facebookers who the aforementioned 5 MES all aspire to be? Sure you may be guilty of turning the occasional nostalgic, vane, or mundane trick…but you never lose sight of what Facebook is all about. You know the difference between waste and wit, postmortem and post-worthy. Simply put, you make the Facebook world go ‘round and this world would be flat, square, shameless, and Shane-less without you.

Thank you for keeping me hanging on.


Shane Smith

August 3, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

Filed under: Wordless Wednesday — Amy @ 6:57 am

6:13 am – Wednesday

August 2, 2011

Location, Location, Location

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 8:08 am

I find it funny how daily habits can change, based on where you are.

At the beach, I go for at least two major walks a day.

First thing in the morning, I take whoever is up and head out, and then, later in the afternoon, I find some reason to walk to a faraway store.

I can’t even fathom a day without these walks, and have been known to go, even when it’s raining.

The beach means walking to me, and I feel so healthy and energized when I get these walks in.

At home, however, although I try to walk every day, it just doesn’t have the same lure.

Perhaps it’s because at the beach, there are new things to see that keep the monkeys entertained on the walk.

We pass bakeries and mini-golf courses and general stores with new and exciting toys.

Well, with toys that are just like the toys you could buy at home, but that look new and exciting because they are in a different store.

The air smells like summer and it doesn’t really matter if it’s 90 degrees, the walk is good.

At home, if it’s 90 degrees, it just feels sweaty and hot and the last thing I feel is energized and healthy when walking in that type of weather.

I think it’s also due to the fact that there are places I can actually walk TO at the beach.

We can walk to the bakery for fresh donuts.

We can walk to the WaWa for a gallon of milk.

We can walk to the RiteAid for some sunblock.

At home, I could walk to the closest bakery, but it’s just not the same.

Which goes to what I’ve been saying since I was a kid.

I need a beach house.

It’s a matter of health, really.

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