My Real Life

July 18, 2010

I Love This

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 8:03 am

Not a reality for a happily married woman with 3 children.

At least, if she wants to stay happily married and keep her 3 children.

But I am absolutely in love with this.

If I could, I would, and if I could modify it to fit our lives, I definitely would.

Perhaps when the kids are grown, Real Man and I can sell it all and move into this.

Love it!

Tiny House

July 17, 2010

Urban Legends

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 7:21 am

So, when we were driving down to the shore, a Phil Collins song came on.

You know the one.

“I can feel it, coming in the air tonight.”

And immediately, Real Man and I looked at each other and started laughing.

“Hey,” he said.  “Did you know that he wrote this song because he saw someone push someone overboard on a boat to kill them?”

“Yeah,” I said.  “And, so he invited the guy to the concert and shined the spotlight on him and sang the song and then when it was over, the cops arrested the guy?”

“Yeah,” he said.  “I know.”

Then, we proceeded to sing it at the top of our lungs, whilst the monkeys looked at each other in utter confusion, as their parents had clearly lost their minds.

You know that urban legend, right?

At least, I think it’s an urban legend. 

The first time I remember that particular story is telling it on Michaela’s Dad’s boat, the summer after 8th grade.

Now I’m starting to think that maybe I made it up.

Anyway, I love urban legends.

They crack me up.

Like, the one with the couple who were making out in their car and they heard a news report that a mental patient had escaped from a nearby mental hospital.  The patient…had a hook for a hand.

So, the couple is a little freaked out, but they go about making out until they hear scrapings near the car and then decide to leave and peel out.

When they get home, the boy goes around to open the girls door and finds a bloody hook hanging from the handle.

Or the one where the girl is driving home on the highway, alone, late at night, and a Mac truck is behind her and he starts riding her tail, flashing his brights and almost bumping her. 

She freaks and starts driving faster, and he keeps following her.  Off of the highway and into her residential neighborhood, which really freaks her out.

She pulls into the driveway and the driver jumps out and races to her car.

She screams.

But, instead of going for her, he yanks open her back door and pulls out the scary guy with a knife that he saw laying in her back seat.

Great story.

Erin can tell you the hours I spent in my closet, in my early childhood, holding a flashlight under my chin, telling these stories and then whipping out my arm from behind my back with a hanger stuffed up my sleeve to represent a hook hand.

I barely got through the story most of the time because I’d crack up into hysterical laughter.

I crack myself up.

I am my own best audience.

Love.  Those.  Stories.

I can’t get enough of scary stories or scary movies.

Even when they are ridiculous.

And, I’m always so sad for the people who believe them.

Like my mom.

I love you, Mom, but you are quite gullible.

Which you already know.

When Real Man and I were dating, we were having dinner with my parents one night and we were telling urban legends and I was telling the one about the girl in college.

You know…she is out partying and comes back to her dorm room.


She’s just about to turn on the light, and then decides just to go to sleep.

When she wakes in the morning, she finds her roommate dead in her bed and a note on the mirror, written in blood.

“Aren’t you glad you didn’t turn on the light?”

Get it?

He was in the room when she got home and let her live because she didn’t see him.

So, I tell that one and my Mom says, “Oh my God!!!  That happened to a girl I knew at Trenton State!  It happened while I was in college!”

Okay Mom.  Sure it did.

We believe you.

It’s cute, that she believed that.

One day I’ll write a post about the prank phone calls I used to make to my parents and how they fell for them every time.

But, that’s a post for another day.

Anyway, I’m curious, if you feel like sharing.

What’s your favorite urban legend?

I’d be so excited if you told me one that I hadn’t heard before!

July 16, 2010

Five Question Friday

Filed under: Five Question Friday — Amy @ 9:33 am

At one of the blogs I frequent, My Little Life, she always plays Five Question Friday.

So, today, I figured I’d play.

If you are a blogger yourself, feel free to copy the questions and answer them at your own blog!

1. Do you collect anything?
Nope.  Not a thing.  Collections make me get tics in my eye, because I imagine having to clean them.  The closest thing I have is a collection of books, but even that has been purged and weeded down to the essentials.

2. Name 3 celebrities that you find good looking.
1 & 2.  Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.  I know.  It’s overdone, but seriously, are these two even human beings?  I am consistently stunned by the fact that no matter what they are doing, they are unbelievably attractive.  Even with the mountain man beard, Brad Pitt is ridiculously good looking.
3.  In a completely different, fresh, all-natural way, I find Jennifer Garner SO pretty.  Her smile is infectious and she just exudes a radiance.

3. Do you have any scars? If so, what’s the story behind it (them?)?
The scar from 3 c-sections aside, I have an interesting scar on my knee.  When I was probably 7 or 8, I was playing at my friend, Judy’s, house.  We were playing soccer with her older brother and sister and I somehow stepped on the soccer ball and fell onto my knee and completely ripped it open.  Her brother and sister didn’t want their mom to know, because they thought she’d send me home, so instead of getting me medical attention, they got a wet washcloth and a band-aid.  It healed, but with gravel under the skin, and I’ve always had this funky scar on my knee ever since.  Absolutely ruined my career as a leg model.

4. What is a food that you like to eat, but others might think it’s gross or weird?
Potato chips and cottage cheese.  Ruffles potato chips, to be exact.  So good.  So freaking good.

5. Have you ever seen a tornado in real life?
As  matter of fact, I have.  When I was in college, I dated  guy who lived in Indiana.  I went to visit one summer and his Mom gave me the car to go pick him up from work.  As I was driving, I noticed cars pulling over to the side of the road and looking left.  I did the same and saw a huge twister making it’s way across a field, not in my direction.  It was awesome.  Really, awesome.


Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 7:27 am
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The screeches of laughter.

The unmitigated joy.

When you are a kid, there is nothing…NOTHING better than sitting in the surf and letting the waves knock you around.

I think these pictures might get me through any bad day I might have in the future.


July 15, 2010


Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 8:53 am


Apparently, it’s time to add something else to Monkey in the Middle’s repetoire of “stuff he rocks at.”


We hit the arcade at the Boardwalk and the arcade near our beach house and the kid took to Skee-Ball like…well, like a phenom.


I play Skee-ball with a wild arm.

Pretty much like I played softball in 8th grade.

Which was pretty much the reason I rode the bench all season.

I’m lucky that I don’t hit the cage, and the lower ring of 1,000 points is the best I can do.

This guy?

He’s the only person I know who can aim for and repeatedly hit the 10,000 spots up in the corner.

He’s got focus.



He’s unreal.

So, pinball it ain’t, but believe me when I say that this kid…

…sure plays a mean skee-ball.

July 14, 2010


Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 7:05 am

…it takes every ounce of restraint I have…

…when the boys call me to see their latest project…

…and I get to the basement and they tell me it’s called “garbage dump”…

…and I see this…

…and I know someone is coming to look at the house.

It takes all that restraint to say, “Wow!  You boys are so creative!  What a great garbage dump!”

Because what I want to say is, “Oh my God!  What have you done to my house?  Do you know how long it will take to clean this up?  Someone is coming to look at the house!  Clean it up!!!”

So, I smile and say nice things and take pictures to make them feel good.

Then, I go upstairs and close my eyes for a few minutes.

And gear up for next time.

July 13, 2010

Truthful Tuesday

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 7:46 am

One of the blogs I frequent has a feature called Truthful Tuesday, where she tells a truth about her life each Tuesday. 

A truth that is, perhaps, embarassing, or not something she would readily share.

So, I thought I’d play along for a few weeks.

This weeks Truthful Tuesday falls into the category of “All is Not Always What it Seems With Our Family.”

Here’s a picture of the monkeys and I on the boardwalk.

Cute, right?

Yeah, well…

So, we were walking down the boardwalk, looking for something to eat, and Real Man and I saw this old psychic woman, fast asleep, mouth wide open, in her little booth.

The fact is, she looked dead.

Without even speaking, I immediately assembled the kids into picture formation, and Real Man pulled out the camera.

Meaningful family moment?


Just a means to catch a picture of the dead old woman on the boardwalk.

This was the best we could do.

Wanna see it closer up?

This was as good as we could get, as she woke up during the photo shoot.

Still, it worked.

We got the shot.

The nicest thing we’ve ever done?


That’s why we didn’t tell the kids what we were doing.

But sometimes,

That’s how we roll.

July 12, 2010

Under the Boardwalk

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 11:33 am

The highlight of the week at the beach, for the monkeys, is the trip to the boardwalk.

To them, it doesn’t matter that it is 100 degrees.

It’s all about the fun.

So, $15 for a wristband and all the rides you can ride between 12 and 6.

Some rides were for all 3.

Some were meant to be enjoyed with a parent.

Some were for monkeys to climb.

And the rest were just plain fun.

July 8, 2010


Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 7:23 pm

Another staple of beach week is mini-golf.
The monkeys love it, but I think this was the best moment of this year’s game.

July 7, 2010

Little Slice of Heaven

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 5:11 pm

It ma not look like much to you, but believe me when I tell you that this outdoor shower is a little slice of heaven.
Every beach house we’ve ever stayed in has had an outdoor shower.
Some, better than others.
This year, however, I feel like I’ve died and gone to heaven.
There is a little “dry” changing area where you can undress and hang your towel.
Then you step into the actual shower.
There is no roof, so you can feel the cool breeze as opposed to the hot water.
When you look up to rinse your hair, it’s just clear, blue sky.
I told Real Man that I think we should install one for ourselves at home.
I don’t think he’s down with that.
So, for now, I’ll enjoy it while I can!

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