My Real Life

What I Did Over My Spring Break.

A Report by: Amy Bozza

This spring break, while all my friends were busy playing games and taking trips, I spent the majority of my time in the bathroom.

Doing what, you may ask.

Trying to get the most stubborn four year old in the world to use the potty.

I was starting to get visions of Baby Monkey heading to college, and me having to say, “Hey sweetie, did you pack your Pull-Ups?”

We tried rewards.

He LOVES the Wiggles, so in August, after our trip to North Carolina, we said, “Okay, no more Wiggles until you go on the potty.  They are your potty reward.”

What did the child who could watch the Wiggles 24-hours a day say?

“Ah, that’s okay.  I don’t like the Wiggles anyway.”

We tried, “Twizzlers, your favorite treat, will be a reward if you go on the potty.”

What did Twizzler boy say?

“I don’t really like Twizzlers anymore.”

We knew it wasn’t going to be easy.

Finally, last month, I called our doctor and begged for help.

She said, “For the next three weeks, just stop asking if he has to go.  Don’t mention the potty at all.”

So, we stopped.

Cold turkey.

It was unbelievable how aware he was that we were no longer asking.

“Mom,” he’d say.  “I wet my pants.”

I’d say, “Okay, let’s go get changed.”

He’d say, “You didn’t ask if I had to go to the potty!”

I said, “Oh, well, you didn’t ask, so I didn’t know!”

One time, he stood in the office and stared at Real Man while he went in his Pull-Up.

Real Man knew what he was doing, but wasn’t going to bite.

Finally, Baby Monkey said, “Dad, I’m stinky.”

Real Man said, “Okay, let’s go get you changed.”

Baby Monkey said, “You didn’t ask if I had to go!”

Real Man said, “You didn’t tell me!”

Baby Monkey said, “I told you in my head, Daddy.”

This is one tough cookie.

The end of three weeks coincided with my spring break, and so this past week, we continued to follow the doctors advice, which was to now say “We’re done with Pull-Ups.  Only underwear from now on.”  Then, if he had an accident, don’t be punitive, but simply make him help clean up and change himself.

At first, he wasn’t digging it.

We knew exactly when he had to go, because out of nowhere, he’d start to say, “I don’t want to wear underwear” and start wiggling around like a maniac.

But, when we’d take him to the bathroom, he’d say “I don’t have to go!”

We’d leave the bathroom and he’d promptly go.

Then, when he had to help clean it up, he almost gagged on the smell (I think he was being overly dramatic…it was pee) and for the past six days hasn’t had a single accident.

We’ve visited every bathroom in every building we’ve been in since Tuesday and he’s christened them all.

He’s so proud of himself…he’s telling total strangers “I’m a big boy and wear underwear now!”

So, although my report on what I did over my spring break may not be as exciting as yours, it is definitely ending EXACTLY how I wanted it to!

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