My Real Life

February 28, 2010

Some Things You Didn’t Know About Me

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 12:16 am
Tags: ,

I was at Elsie’s blog, A Beautiful Mess, on Friday night and she had a Friday Night Secret Telling  post.  She listed some things that she thought her readers might not know about her.  Then, she challenged her readers to do the same, if they had a blog.

In the excitement and preparations of Monkey Girl’s birthday party, I didn’t get to it during the day on Saturday, but after the house emptied of 9-year old girls, I sat down for a little bit and tried to come up with some things I thought you all might not know about me.

The very fact that this blog exists is a bit telling about the fact that I am, after all, an open book.  However, I think I may have kept some things back, and that there may be a few things up my sleeve that may surprise, shock, and astound you. 

On the other hand, you may also be thinking, “Oh good God…is nothing sacred?”

Either way, here are a few things that I think you may not know about me and my real life.


I could subsist on popcorn alone.  Just popcorn.  Popped by Real Man, on the stove, in a pot, cooked in oil and butter.  I mean, if times were tight, I could do with air popped.  I could also probably do with microwave, but only if it was poured into a bowl.  I don’t like sticking my hand in the popcorn bag and getting it all greasy.  I’m picky like that.  I could DEFINITELY substitute movie theater popcorn, but only with a drink.

Which brings me to #2.

 The popcorn would make me thirsty, and so my drink of choice for the rest of my life would be Vanilla Coke.  Me + Vanilla Coke = TLF (true love forever)


I am terrified of porcelain dolls. 


 I used to housesit, and there was one family who took me to the guest room, the first time I was there, and said, “This is where you’ll sleep.”  There were porcelain dolls in the room.  I said, “Um, no thanks…I’ll sleep downstairs on the couch.”  The woman said, “No problem…I’ll put them in the armoire!”  I said, “No!  Then they’ll be angry and they’ll really be out to get me!”  She just looked at me and said, “Okay…the couch it is.”

Another doll story is when my handbell choir went on tour in the summer after my junior year of high school.  In one city, the people who were housing Kim and I took us to our room, where there were twin beds…and a collection of dolls, surrounding the room, high on a shelf.  I made Kim share one of the twin beds with me and made her hold my hand all night, while we slept.

So, know when I say I’m afraid of porcelain dolls, I ain’t jokin’, folks.



When I was in high school, I tried to dye my hair brown.  I just wanted to be a brunette.  It didn’t take.  Michaela and I used two boxes of dye.  I was still blonde.


I tried to become a smoker in college.  I thought that I was too good, and that I should get a vice.  I didn’t drink, never tried a drug, and thought that smoking might be the way to go.  Like with the brunette hair dye, it didn’t take.  Not really sure I even finished the first pack.


Despite the fact that I’d have to rename both Baby Monkey AND Monkey in the Middle, I think adding one more monkey to the mix would be divine.


As of tonight, I have successfully made it through the entire 2010 Winter Olympics without watching one second of it.  I don’t hate the Olympics, but I’m really not into them and I thought that this year, I’d see if I could avoid them completely.  I did.  My own little personal challenge.  Gotta have a goal, folks.  Gotta have a goal.

So, there you have it. 

7 things you didn’t know about me before right this second.

If you want to play along, leave us one thing you think people might not know about you in the comments!

(all photos courtesy of

February 27, 2010

It’s A Mystery!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 9:41 am
Tags: ,

Today is Monkey Girl’s birthday party.

11 9-year old girls, plus my three monkeys, all in my house.

The girls that she is friends with are sweet, sweet girls, so I know it will be fine.

It’s just a lot of 9-year old girls in one place, at one time!

As I’ve mentioned, Monkey Girl likes theme parties.

This  year, it’s The 39 Clues!

It’s this great book series that she’s been reading and totally loves.

I must admit, not a bad series!

So, when everyone arrives, they’ll be paired up into teams and given a case file.

In the case file is a description of the crime, a list of the suspects and a list of the evidence.

Then, the girls have to figure out who committed the crime and how.

We have crime scene tape to section off Baby Monkey’s bedroom, as the scene of the crime, and we’ve made a masking tape outline on his bed of where his blue blankie was, before it was stolen.

After the mystery is solved, we have a “Tape the Magnifying Glass on the Detective” game, and then after cake and pizza, the girls all get their own code to crack that will tell them where their goodie bag is hidden in the house.

I have to say, these parties are a lot of fun.  I wish I had thought of something like this when I was a kid!

So, as we do party preparations around here, I thought I’d share the case file and see if YOU can figure out the mystery. (I hope so, because it’s geared toward 9-year olds, and my guess is that you are all adults!) 🙂


(And remember…names have been changed to protect the innocent!)


Case File #731137

The Victim: 

“Baby Monkey” Bozza

The Crime:

As  “Baby Monkey” Bozza headed to bed on Friday night, he found that his favorite nighttime lovey, “Blue Blankie,” was missing.  The last time blue blankie was seen, it was laying on Monkey’s bed, waiting to be snuggled.

The Suspects:

Mommy “The Cleaner” Bozza – The Cleaner has previously been arrested for moving items while cleaning up the house, and then forgetting where she put them.  As she was dragged off to jail, she was heard to yell, “But it’s messy!  The house must be cleaned!”  She is currently out on parole.

Monkey in the Middle “Big Brother” Bozza – Big Brother was on trial last year for allegedly taking the Monkey’s toys and hiding them because, as he said, “That’s what big brothers do.”  The jury found him innocent, though, as they believed his courtroom testimony in which he said that he loved the Monkey and would never want to make him sad.  Although he was not convicted, it is possible that Big Brother may have taken blue blankie, trying to keep things interesting because of the cabin fever the family has caught due to all the snow.

Monkey Girl “Jailhouse” Bozza – Jailhouse has served time for “accidentally” kicking toys under beds, into closets, and other strange places, as she walks around the house with her nose in a book or her DS. The judge has reminded her to be more aware of her surroundings, but it is possible that Jailhouse slipped, and is the culprit for the missing blue blankie.

The Evidence:

1.  Dirty sock – This dirty sock was found laying in the doorway of Monkey’s bedroom.  There was no other dirty laundry in the area.

2.  A smear of blue liquid on the doorframe.  Police were unable to get a fingerprint from the liquid, but it appears to have been left there by the thief.

3.  A toy train from Big Brother’s room was found on the floor of Baby Monkey’s room.  The rule is that before bedtime, all toys are to be put away, so police were unable to deduce why the train from one room was found in another.

Can you figure out who committed the crime AND how it was done???

February 26, 2010

To Make You Smile

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 12:30 pm

I’ve recently upgraded the blog to allow me to post video.

Not to worry…

I’m not going to subject you to hours of home video.

I think.

However, today, I thought I would share with you a very brief video that always brings a smile to my face.

Because, there is nothing cuter than watching Monkey in the Middle hula hoop on the Wii Fit Plus.

Snow Days, in a Nutshell

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 9:54 am

Yesterday and today were snow days.

Northern New Jersey has been hit with a storm that has made the, normally, level-headed Jerseyans lose their minds.

I thought “Snowmaggedon” was a funny name for the last storm.

However, this storm has pushed people’s creativity too far.

Snowzilla.  Snowicane. Snowvelations.

Real Man made up “Judgement Snow.”

We crack ourselves up.

Anyway, these snow days have been awesome because I’ve had two days, non-stop of monkey time.

Yesterday morning, around 5:30 am, I was sound asleep, when I felt eyes upon me.

I opened my eyes and there stood Baby Monkey.

As our eyes met, he said, (in his best 4-year old evil villain voice), “Ah…so we meet again!”

Are. You. Kidding. Me?

This morning, I was dozing in bed, listening to the sounds of Real Man fight with the snowblower when the bed started to shake.

I started to get a little nervous because of the small earthquake that hit our area last week (I kid you not…look it up!) but then I realized that it was more of a rythmic bumping.

I popped my head out from under the covers and was greeted with this:

Mr. Garbage Can Head.

Again, I say…

Are. You. Kidding. Me?

Yesterday was full of games.

Monkey in the Middle and I played countless games of air hockey on the mini-air hockey table he got from a friend for his birthday last week.

Love that toy!

We played “pedicure” and everyone had their toenails done.

The big monkeys had a Wii Fit Plus tournament.

Baby Monkey and I built Lego cities.

We napped.

The monkeys snuggled in Baby Monkey’s bed and watched movies.

Another side effect of snow days (actually of most days of my recovery) is that I’ve watched a lot of the Food Network.

Not a big deal, on its own.

However, when discussing me, it is important to always remember that I am an only child of two only children.

Although I had my “sisters-by-choice” Kim, Erin, and Michaela, when growing up, I was also on my own quite a bit.

I’m used to entertaining myself.

And so, as I prepared dinner last night, I turned to see Monkey Girl standing in the doorway, laughing.

“What’s so funny?” I asked her.  Dinner looked good.  I wasn’t sure what was so funny.

“Who are you talking to?” she asked.

Yes, after all these hours with the Food Network, I’ve fallen back into old habits from childhood and from before Real Man and I were married and I had my own place.

When I cook, I like to play “cooking show.”

What that means is that I explain every step along the way, make corny jokes, talk about the importance of one spice over the other, etc.

I imagine it actually might be quite entertaining to watch.

Hmmm…perhaps if I knew how to cook interesting foods, I might have another career.

However, I’m not sure how many people would want to watch last nights show on baked chicken and brussel sprouts.

We’re relaxing.

We’re enjoying each other.

I’m not sure what we’ll do today to enjoy our time together.

There will be cupcake baking and preparations for Monkey Girl’s birthday party, which we are holding tomorrow.

There will be games.

There will be naps.

Hope you are all enjoying your days, whether it’s in the snow or not.

Most of all, I hope you are spending it with those you love and cherishing every second!

February 25, 2010


Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 8:17 pm

So, in the beginning of February, I entered my novel in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award Contest.

In the initial stages, they only accept 5,000 entries.

Then, for the second round, they narrow the 5,000 down to 1,000.

Well, I made the cut!

I know this isn’t even CLOSE to winning the contest.

There are many more rounds to go through, but still, it feels good!

In the first round, they read our pitches.

In the second round, they are reading our excerpts, which are the first 5,000(?) words.  Can’t quite remember how many words the excerpt was.  Anyway, it’s the first X amount of words from our novels.

Then, they’ll narrow it down to 250 contestants for the third round.

If you make it to the third round, they will post your excerpt at and people can go on and read and review the excerpts, and they go from there.

So, I’m in round two.

Someone, somewhere is reading my excerpt and deciding if I make it to the third round.

The next date I am waiting for is March 23, 2010.  That’s when they post those who go on.

Fingers crossed!

(If you are interested in reading more about my novel, visit my writing blog:

Gender Roles

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 3:46 pm
Tags: ,

I apologize, in advance, for my gross generalization of traditional gender roles in the following post.

Little girls who grow up with big brothers wind up knowing how to play sports.

How to be rough and tumble.

How to defend themselves.

Little boys who grow up with big sisters learn…

…how to play “pedicure.”

I’ve Created a Monster

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 12:50 pm

As adults, obviously, Real Man and I have e-mail accounts.

Monkey Girl also recently opened an e-mail account. 

She uses her account to e-mail Real Man and I, and also corresponds with Kim, Erin, and Michaela on a spotty basis.

She e-mails some of her friends, who also have e-mail, as well.

Sometimes, she even e-mails her teacher when she has questions she’s afraid she’ll forget to ask in class.

The other day, Monkey Girl was e-mailing something and Monkey in the Middle was in the office with her.

“I want to e-mail!” he said.

So, being the good sister that she is, she showed him how to send e-mail using her account.

I wasn’t aware this was happening until I got an e-mail from Michaela saying, “Looks like someone is having fun with e-mail today!” and she had forwarded a message from Monkey in the Middle, that was full of characters and symbols.

So, Monkey in the Middle and I had a conversation about responsible e-mailing and he asked if he could have an account.

We talked further about responsibility and the internet and e-mail, and went ahead and opened up an account for him.

We’ve decided to use it as a teaching tool for him.

I’ll e-mail him a question and he needs to figure out what I’ve written, and then he needs to try to type an answer back.

Sometimes, he’ll send me an e-mail that is unsolicited.

They pretty much all say, “i love amy bozza pizza i love mom”

Who doesn’t love to get e-mails like that?

Not to worry; we’ve set up a contact list for him, and he knows he can only e-mail the people on that list.  It includes me, Real Man, Monkey Girl, and my parents.

Real Man just called to say that he has now received so many e-mails from Monkey in the Middle that they are now all being sent to spam.

So, we’re working on it.  He’s learning, and I think that, given the fact that he is a digital native, and technology is going to be a huge part of the rest of his life, we might as well teach him how to use technology responsibly.

Also, those e-mails are good for my ego!

Back from the Doctor

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 10:46 am

Otherwise titled: Ouch.

Well… I had my follow-up today.

Time for the stitches and splints and packing to come out.

I’ve been more nervous about this appointment than I was for the actual surgery.

The kids have a snow day today and the mountain is pretty darn covered here, so Real Man decided to go late to work to make sure the monkeys and I got to the doctor and home again safely.

I think he loves us.

So, we went and actually arrived before the office was open.

We waited in the hallway, and my doctor showed up and let us in.

Real Man and the monkeys waited in the waiting room and I went back with the doctor.

In a few minutes, the nurse came in and put a bib around my neck, like when you go to the dentist.

I looked at her with a raised eyebrow and she said, “It’s to catch any blood so it doesn’t stain your shirt.”

Say what?

The nurse left the room and came back with a metallic briefcase.

I started to feel like I was in an episode of 24, and that she was going to handcuff me to the briefcase and give me an assignment.

I wish that was what she had done.

Instead, she opened it. 

I don’t think she punched in a secure code, but I can’t be sure.

When it opened, she pulled out about ten feet of gray, rubber tubing.

I gave a nervous laugh and said, “What’s that for?”

She said, “To suction out the packing.”

It was at this point that I started to feel a little faint.

I’m not going to go through it all in extensive detail, because I don’t think everyone would appreciate it.

However, I will say that toward the end, there were tears.

And they were mine.

I was as tough as I could be for as long as I could be.

Yet, there came a point where it just hurt too much to contain the tears.

They were quiet and pathetic.

I think I scared the doctor because she took a step back and said, “Oh  no…are you okay?”

I said, in a small, little voice, “Yeah.  It just really hurts.”

Then, to make me feel better she said, “Well, it won’t be quite this bad every time.”

I said, “Every time?”

She said, “Yes…we need to do this every two weeks for the next few months to make sure it stays cleared out while it completely heals.”

Strange, how she thought that would stop the tears.

However, it’s an hour later now and I am feeling better.

She wants me out of work for another week, because apparently, now that the packing and stitches are out, the risk for opening things up and having it bleed are worse.  I don’t know about that.  I’ll be as still as possible at work, but I can’t do another week.  We’ll see.  That’s where I’ll leave it for now.

The best news of the day is that my monkeys are home due to snow and we’ve got a lot of snuggling lined up.

It’s gonna be a good day.

February 24, 2010

Favorite Time of Day

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 6:07 pm
Tags: ,

As I recover from my sinus surgery, what I am hearing a lot from friends and family is,

“Oh, you must just love having the house all to yourself all day!  How wonderful for you!”

The truth?

Here’s my favorite time of day:

Thought for the Day

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amy @ 10:57 am

I’m not kidding.

(image found at

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